Spiritual: September 15, 2010 Issue [#3972] |
Spiritual
This week: True Romance Edited by: NaNoKit More Newsletters By This Editor
1. About this Newsletter 2. A Word from our Sponsor 3. Letter from the Editor 4. Editor's Picks 5. A Word from Writing.Com 6. Ask & Answer 7. Removal instructions
We want it all and we want it now. And then, we want more. With such short attention spans, it's no wonder that so many relationships don't last. Is there any hope left for true romance?
This week's Spiritual Newsletter has a look at relationships.
kittiara |
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When I look around my social networks, I can't help but notice how many of my acquaintances fall in and out of love. One moment they'll announce a new relationship, the next moment they're single. To be fair, there may be a few months between these announcements, but there's definitely a pattern. And it's not like these are the type of people who do not want commitment. Like most of us, they want a loving partnership. It makes me wonder what is going wrong...
I'd be the first to admit that I am not very good at relationships. I've always fallen for the wrong sort. Maybe alarm bells that should be ringing have simply failed to go off for me. I meet someone, they seem wonderful and heading in the same direction as I am, they appear to have the same morals and standards as I do, and at first it's great. It's only after a while that I notice that I've been mistaken and that, actually, all is not so well. I've always tried to fix things, and work things out, but if there's one lesson that I have learned, it's that you shouldn't try to completely change who you are, just to try make someone happy. It's unhealthy and it never, ever works. Not in the long run.
Yes, I have a pretty bad track record. I've been proposed to more times than I can count on both of my hands, and here I am, in my thirties and unmarried. I do accept some of the blame for this. I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I'm quite eccentric. Probably my worst quality is that I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to love... Eventually, I want it all. I want someone who likes me for who I am, who's willing to meet halfway if needed, who respects me, who is loyal and honest and trustworthy, and who'll be right by my side through all of life's ups and downs. And I want someone who wants these same things from me.
I've been told that this is unrealistic. Some people have told me that it's not cool to expect commitment. It seems that, these days, casual is the way to go. I've also found that there are these common preconceptions about women. If you're in your thirties, you must be desperate to get married. If you're a woman, you must be a feminist and not expect any chivalry. You're also bound to be after a man's money and status. And (this is mostly followed by some laughter) men can't be doing with the old ball and chain.
It's even worse when you're religious. Religion is another thing that's not cool. It makes people think certain things about you, and most ideas people have about my faith make me scratch my head and leave me bewildered. It gets tiring to have to explain that being a Christian does not make me someone who's stuck in some kind of outlandish mindset.
I do think people are too quick to give up on their relationships. If someone is cruel to you, or disloyal, then it's fair enough. If the relationship is unhealthy, then it's certainly best to move on. Minor issues, though, can be solved. They just take some work. A lot of problems are caused by things that truly aren't worth arguing over, money being the most pointless one of all.
It's also unrealistic to expect that everything will stay the same way as when you first met your partner. Those butterflies and all the powerful feelings involved are wonderful, but sooner or later those will ease off, and real life will set in. That doesn't mean the relationship is failing, it just means that you're about to build something special. The love, friendship, trust and dedication of a long-term relationship are very worthwhile. The more you experience together (including the less fun times), the stronger your relationship will become. True love is a special connection between two people. It may inspire a different type of poetry than those initial stages, but it's still a work of beauty. If you're lucky, the butterflies will still visit from time to time.
It may sound strange to read this from an editor who's admitted that she's not that good at relationships. Whilst I may not be a good example, I do have the honour of knowing couples who've succeeded. Those couples have spent many happy decades together, yet they'll readily admit that it's not always been roses and sunshine.
Is there hope for the younger generations? I'd like to think there is. Humans are strange, when it comes to love. We seem to want a happily ever after, but modern day life has made us all too accustomed to want it all and want it now, and then to want some more.
As a writer, it's interesting to analyze, but not as easy to live it. Love's always a good topic for poems and stories, and it's inspired many a Hollywood movie (for better or worse), but I dread to think what romantic items future generations will write. Let's hope true romance comes back in fashion.
kittiara
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For this week's Editor's Picks, I have chosen items about love, in a variety of forms. I hope you'll enjoy them .
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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The Spiritual Newsletter Team welcomes any and all questions, suggestions, thoughts and feedback, so please don't hesitate to write in!
A.T.B: It'sWhatWeDo - Heya Kittiara, thank you for such a wonderful newsletter this week. i also don't necessarily cling to any particular religion - I've studied so many, simply coming to terms with myself as a human being.
I grew up (and still live) in western North Carolina - a beautiful home, without a doubt - but I often find myself yearning for a spiritual outlet that fosters a joy of salvation, rather than a threat of any kind.
I think a countless many would find life so much more beautiful.
Since I'm not sure as to the Item ID Highlighting - whether it automatically adds it or not - I'll include just the ID# for your consideration in the future. - 1684449 - Best always, Drew
Hi Drew! Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the newsletter.
I sure hope that you'll find what you are looking for! I think many of us would like to find a spiritual home where we feel like we belong...
I've included your item. Thanks for submitting it!
The item submitted: | | Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1684449 by Not Available. |
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embe - Dear Kittiara,
Thank you for the informative Christian newsletter detailing different forms of faith.
Herewith my poem of faith to share with others.
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embe, in appreciation.
Thank you so much, embe, also for the poem!
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monty31802 - Thank you for a very interesting newsletter. The truth in a point made of healing for $ is sad but true and I was pleased to see you had the courage to write of it.
Thank you very much, Monty. The healing for money wasn't something that was pleasant to write about, but unfortunately it happens. I hope there will come a day, soon, when nobody falls for such practices.
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Incurable Romantic - Kitti, I'm sure about my faith, but your newsletter on "finding the right faith for you" will be good for my father to read. He's still looking for the right one due to a string of circumstances as he was growing up. Living with different branches of the family ever few years, going to a variety of churches and seeing things like a pastor leaving town with his secretary (so his family changed churches again). I'm hoping your thoughts will help him find the right one for him. Excellent column, Kitti! - Jim
Thank you very much for your kind words, Jim. I truly hope that your father will find the right church for him. It's not always easy to find one where you feel at home, but I am certain that it will be a rewarding experience!
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GRAMPA ED - Kittiara,
Good article and as one who has been to many churches of different denominations over the years, people have to find one that they are the most comfortable in or they will not be happy. It does matter what they preach and I always look for the ones that make you feel like you are wanted their and are not just a number.
Grampa Ed
Thank you so much, Grampa Ed! Yes, to feel like you're wanted and are not just a number is something that's very important. That's a good point, and I thank you for making it .
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Helen McNicol - Kittiara, great newsletter. I consider myself a Spritualist Agnostic... for lack of a better description, and believe worship and beliefs are a very personal thing and can vary from person to person. There is a move these days away from traditional churches for that reason. There is so much more to spiritualism than just religion, and as you said, I consider myself a christian, not because of my faith, but because of the way I live my life and treat others.
That is a very good way to live your life. I think there are those who prefer to be part of a religious/spiritual community and there are those who don't. I'm one of those who don't, though there are times when I think it would be nice.
I once went to a church with a friend, and though I didn't connect with the service, I sure liked the visiting gospel choir. As much as I enjoyed them, it wasn't reason enough to return .
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Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team:
Sophurky , KimChi , kittiara
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