 Comedy: November 03, 2010 Issue [#4044] |
  Comedy
This week: Why Do We Still Have Daylight Savings? Edited by: Sophurky  
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Chuck Norris Fact:
Chuch Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight saving time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week we'll talk about how ridiculous it is to still go on and off Daylight Saving Time, which most countries still do. |
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Daylight Saving Time: An Idea Long Past Its Prime
You know that guy from New York running for Governor who started his own political party -- "The Rent is too 'darn' high" party? Well, I want to start my own political party too -- and mine is called "Daylight Saving Time is stupid and we need to get rid of it" party. My platform is based on questioning why we still practice DST, especially in the 21st Century, when there's really just no point to it. In fact, I'm not sure there ever was.
Yes, I know that the original purpose of Daylight Saving Time (called "Summer Time" in many places in the world) was to make better use of daylight. Supposedly we change our clocks during the summer months to move an hour of daylight from the morning to the evening. This was done primarily to help farmers and others who earn a living doing work outside. But here's what I don't understand. Moving our clocks ahead an hour in the spring does NOT give us more hours of sunlight in a day. We still get the same number of hours of daylight after we change the clocks, give or take a minute. All it does is change the time on a clock, not to mention lose me an hour of sleep the night we do it in the spring.
So I don't get it, especially now when there are fewer farmers and those who are left have headlights on their combines that allow them to work all night if they want to. (Have you ever driving on a dark county road at night, assuming you are coming up on a large football stadium all lit up, only to discover it's a farmer harvesting his corn? I have. Those combine lights are blinding!) So why do we still need DST? If you enjoy long summer evenings, then get outside and enjoy the long summer evening. It doesn't matter what time it is -- the reality is, it's going to get light, then it's going to stay light for many hours, and then the sun is going to set and it's going to get dark, and it's going to stay dark for many hours. And then guess what?!? It's going to get light again. Changing a clock forward or back isn't going to change that. Geeze.
Then there are the countries that either don't observe DST at all or, if they do, change their clocks a different day than everyone else. It's not as if I don't already get confused trying to figure out what time it is in the UK, for instance -- but then they change their clocks before we do and it messes with my head even more. Here in the United States, some states observe DST and others don't, which also confuses me. And worse, in one state, Indiana, some parts of the state observe it and others don't, which causes their neighboring states (one of which is my home) even more confusion. Historically, the state's two western corners, which fall in the Central Time Zone, observed DST, while the remainder of the state, in the Eastern Time zone, followed year-round Standard Time. An additional complication was that five southeastern counties near Cincinnati and Louisville unofficially observed DST to keep in sync with those cities. And don't even get me started on Arizona ... Seriously, it makes my head explode just thinking about it!
Or what about Amtrak (passenger train in the US)? To keep to their published timetables, trains cannot leave a station before the scheduled time. So, when the clocks fall back one hour in November, all Amtrak trains in the U.S. that are running on time stop at 2:00 a.m. and wait one hour before resuming. Overnight passengers are often surprised to find their train at a dead stop and their travel time an hour longer than expected. At the spring Daylight Saving Time change, trains instantaneously become an hour behind schedule at 2:00 a.m., but they just keep going and do their best to make up the time.
Friends, please join me in supporting my new political party/movement in bringing an end to Daylight Saving. I argue that we are not saving daylight at all, but rather subjecting ourselves to the semi-annual inconvenience of changing the many clocks in our homes and watches on our wrists, not to mention having to adjust to a new sleep schedule, and it's quite simply a bad idea way past it's "time." Get it? Time? hahahahaha!
That said, I will try to enjoy my extra hour of sleep this coming weekend. |
Below you'll find some offerings from other WDC members about clocks and time in general, as well as about Daylight Saving Time. Please let the folks know if you read their piece by leaving a thoughtful comment or review.
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A letter of apology to the school board from a young student on behalf of his dear aunt.
#1705704 by David Amerman  |
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Now for a few comments from my last Comedy Newsletter about football in the US going pink, "Comedy Newsletter (October 6, 2010)" :
From BIG BAD WOLF is Howling 
Football is deffinatly crazy. My younger brother is a football player, and he's nuts.
Of course, it could be worse, like this guy's story. "Unbelievable Theft: Stolen Life"
Football is okay as long as it doesn't run over into my viewing of The Amazing Race! 
     
From drjim
Ah Sophy, we see once again that you too have been bitten by the Football Bug! NOTHING LIKE PIGSKIN FEVER to bring people into your Chicago home (that's where you live, yes?)! LOL ... I must kindly admit that I saw various players this past Sunday in what can only be described as a 'wild, neon-like Picasso pink' - and I had the distinct impression that George Halas and Vinny Lombardi both rolling over in their graves!
Of course, Soph, you DON'T recall waay back in the early 70's (most likely before you were born) the time when Broadway Joe and the Jets got the boot for - gulp - a more important show ... "Heidi". THAT was when America had the moral turpitude to air the likeness of a Swiss youngster yodeling in the hollows of various Teutonic mountain ranges... I think. GREAT NL!
I live in Illinois, but not in Chicago. I am from SoCal, but since we have no pro-team there anymore, I've switched my allegiance to the Bears. And aren't you sweet about my age? I was born in the 60's so yes, I know Broadway Joe!
From Tornado Dodger 
I LOVED this week's NL edition about Football. I cracked up and even read parts out loud to my husband and son. What a great job!  Keep it up!
Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it!
From Davina
Hilarious! Thank you so much for this laugh and I'm so glad someone else feels the same way about Favre! Oh, and I stole your Bears joke and told it to my husband...as he was wearing his bears shirt with pride. Ha!
I used to like Bret, about five retirements and one text photo ago. But now, wow ... how the mighty have fallen. Glad to share the joke, it wasn't mine to begin with, lol.
From Spectre Lives
Really enjoyed your take on NFL scheduling. Of course I'm on the other side of the fence and would prefer that each and every game would be broadcast (can't afford NFL network). It was all funny until you made the Brady remark. As always, I look forward to this newsletter, you didn't disappoint.
Sorry about the Brady remark. Hope it didn't ruin it entirely!
Please keep your comments and suggestions coming, they are greatly appreciated!
Until next time! Sophurky |
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