 Comedy: November 30, 2010 Issue [#4098] |
  Comedy
This week: Why a Bathing Suit is NOT a Towel Edited by: Sophurky  
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| Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Have something unexpected happen to you? Find yourself in a position where you have to improvise? Why not write about it -- I bet it will make great comedy writing fodder! Read on for a personal example. |
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Why a Bathing Suit is not a Towel
For the first two weeks of November, Mr. Sophy and I went camping in one of our favorite places -- Zion National Park in Southern Utah. If you've never been there before, stop reading this newsletter, book a ticket, and get out there!  If you have been to Zion, then you know it's one of the most beautiful places on the planet. It's certainly one of our favorite places to camp.
We have a pop-up camper which we hauled over 1600 miles one way and set up in a beautiful site in the South Campground (not that there are any sites that aren't beautiful -- well, maybe the one right by the dumpster isn't as nice as others but heck, even with the dumpster the views are gorgeous). South Campground has no electric or water hook-ups, so we were doing what I call "cold camping" which just means we had no electricity or running water in our camper. But that's okay -- it's more like tent camping that way -- if your tent is on wheels, that is.
Now no electricity and no running water in the camper means no hot showers for Sophy. And again, that's okay -- it is camping after all. So I don't need to shower every day. But I do like to try and shower every other day, if possible, and cold-camping makes that a challenge. The last time we were camping in Zion in 2005, there was a little place in the town of Springdale called Tsunami Juice and Java, which made fabulous smoothies along with great coffee. And for $4 you could take a shower there too. So we figured we'd use their shower to get clean every couple of days. However, when we drove by our beloved smoothie/coffee/shower joint, there was a big sign that said, "SUBWAY - Opening Soon!" Which meant that Tsunami Juice and Java was no more, and even worse, our cleansing oasis was gone.
So we called around to see if there were other options, but there were none. It was off season there, and the usual places had closed down at the end of October, even though, much to our delight, the November weather had remained warm and beautiful. So we dug out our "solar shower" and decided if nothing else became an option, we'd use it. (Solar Shower: You fill this bag with water, set it in the sun, the sun heats the water due to the black side of the bag, you hang it in a tree, it has a hose and a small shower head which you use to you shower in front of your camping neighbors, usually in a bathing suit.) We tried it one day and it wasn't too bad. The water warmed up nicely, there was a perfect tree to hang it on behind our camper, and even though we showered in bathing suits we got clean enough to feel less "campy."
Mr. Sophy went into to town one day to rent some equipment from an outfitter for a special hike he was going to take down the Virgin River "Narrows." While there he was given a coupon that would allow him a shower at a nearby RV Park. We had called them about showering earlier in the week but were told that only guests of the RV Park were allowed to shower there -- but evidently customers of the outfitter Mr. Sophy was using were also allowed to shower there. $5 for a 7 minute shower. We were delighted. Sophy would not be accompanying him on the trip, but Sophy would definitely take advantage of the shower coupon.
Wanting to save the coupon for a day when we really needed it, I put my bathing suit on and headed out for my second solar shower. However, even though the outside air was warm, the water in the solar shower was anything but. As I debated whether or not to take a cold solar shower, Mr. Sophy insisted we pack up and head in to town to shower at the RV Park. I put my shorts and shirt back on over my suit, slipped on my flip flops, and grabbed my bag with soap, shampoo, and conditioner, and we headed off to a real shower.
Great, right? Well yes, except I left my towel back at camp. Worse, I didn't realize this until Mr. Sophy was in the men's shower room so I could not steal his towel. So I took off my shorts, shirt, and bathing suit, took my 7 minute shower, and stood there dripping wet, trying to figure out what to dry myself off with. I couldn't use my nice clean clothes that I was going to change into because, well, I needed to wear those. And the only thing I had that would possibly work were my cloth shower bag or the bathing suit I had been wearing. I chose the bathing suit.
Bathing suits are not meant to be towels. They absorb water just fine when you jump into a swimming pool, but for use as a drying implement, they don't do a great job. Nor are they suitable to wrap your head of hair in. I tried. Didn't work. So I wiped off as much water from my body as I could with the inadequate suit, put on my clothes, and went out to meet Mr. Sophy, grateful that the temps were in the 70's and that even though I was still wet, I would not be cold. And lest we forget, I was clean.
Suffice to say the next time we ventured to the RV Park to shower after scoring another coupon, Mr. Sophy was in charge of the towels!
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Below you'll find some offerings from other WDC members about showering in general, as well as losing your towel. Please let the folks know if you read their piece by leaving a thoughtful comment or review.
| |  | exposed (18+)
Just a silly poem about losing your towel in a public place, but flaunting what you have.
#1727172 by Lyn  |
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter -- "Comedy Newsletter (November 3, 2010)" :
From From
Hiya,
The end part of the football commentary was really quite funny.
RR
Yes I did get quite a few comments from that one, lol.
    
From From A.T.B: It'sWhatWeDo
I've always referred to DST as Daylight Slaving Time, as it always fell right during the ramp up toward midterms when I was in school...back in the mesozoic era.
It never failed to thrash my already tenuous sleep schedule and took weeks to acclimate while half your grade disappeared into an involuntary nap forehead-first against my desk...
My family comes from a remote part of Southern Appalachia, and I'm fairly certain the generation born prior to 1900 basically refused to much with such foolishness. Some argue it helps with seasonal depression, increases safety for schoolchildren on the early bus to school each a.m. But I still maintain there's some level devious intent within it. I feel that way about most things time-related, though. There's never been a better villain than lost time in my experience...thanks for a great NL Sophy!
Amen! And thanks for sharing -- so glad you enjoyed the newsletter.
From From Robert Waltz 
Concerning Daylight Saving Time, it's even worse than you stated.
The reason we have standard time is because before railroads, each city had its own time, generally based on local noon. Standardizing time made it easier to coordinate rail schedules - all you had to think about was where the zone crossing was.
Then some idiot decided Daylight Saving Time was a good idea - might be, in theory, but in practice... it's as you said. Thus, railroad schedules were mucked up again. Incidentally, do airplanes stop, too? I'd pay to see THAT.
I'm of the opinion that time zones need to be revamped, anyway. Use longitude lines, not the gerrymandered stuff we have now. Take a look at the International Date Line*; see how it stretches beyond all reason to accommodate some Pacific islands.
*Which is not, unfortunately, a phone system that'll let me get dates with hot Ukrainian chicks.
Oooh good point about the airplanes -- that would be something to see. From a safe distance. Email me and I'll PM you the number for the hot Ukranian chicks.
From Katya the Poet 
AAUUGGHHH. You have not relieved my fears about what the heck is going to happen on November 7 when I have to take Amtrak in the morning!!!
Sorry about that -- but please do spill about the train. Did you have to pull over and stop for an hour? Or were you traveling after 2am?
From billwilcox
I am with ya, SophY! Besides, now that some dingle-hopper politician changed the rules and pushed Daylight Savings Time ahead an extra 2 weeks, I am utterly confused.
Ah Billy, methinks confusion is your usual state of mind, so perhaps it's not so bad for you when we go on/off DST? 
From KimChi
Get it on the ballot and I guarantee voter turnout will rival this midterm election. Unfortunately good, common sense ideas never seem to make it to the people.
Oy, too true.
From Spooky, Cute & staiNed 
daytime savings has very little hunor here, kids sense of waking and bedtime go out of whack, and I feel run over for days, and it even messes with wdc. 
Exactly. It's "time" has come for sure!
From THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! 
Hi Sophy, I'll be glad to support your new political party. I'm in India. Just send me the date and TIME of your next meeting, won't you? I'll be there to cheer! - Sonali
Great! You can be my running mate!
From LJPC - the tortoise
Hi Sophy!
I wasn't speaking to you after you trashed  football last time, but your funny take on Daylight Savings Time has softened my hurt feelings.
Yes, DST is a stupid and inefficient rule. I live in Egypt and we have to change the clocks FOUR times a year! This is to accommodate Western DST and Eastern Ramadan. It's very annoying and purposeless.
Down with Daylight Savings Time!
(Up with football!)
-- Laura
Oh Laura, great to have you back -- I so missed you. I love football, I just don't like some of the rules. And some of the teams. Four times a year? That's just ridiculous.
From drjim
Ah Sophy! DST ain't nothing to worry about, unless of course you were Ben Franklin or whomever invented this concept all along the way. Actually, to help your Banish DST Party go forth into that good night, please allow me to conjecture one fine point. It took the able mind of Albert Einstein to point out that time DOES NOT EXIST! Yes, dear Soph, it don't exist! I mean if you would like a complete discourse on how we can PROVE that time is simply a concept, ad infinitum, why I'll be happy to submit another sophist-style response to your always hilarious NLs! Great work! Dr J
Cool! I'll take you up on that sometime.  Oh wait, if time doesn't exist then ...
From Tornado Dodger 
Loved your Daylight Savings Time NL Sophurky . Couldn't agree with you more. It's an antiquated concept and needs to be done away with. Unfortunately, I also didn't get to sleep another hour as I work third shift so instead of working 12hrs, I ended up working 13. Yuck!
Thanks for the great NL. 
You are most welcome -- glad you enjoyed it, and sorry you end up working more hours. Hope you get paid for them!
From mariabronn
Well put. My struggle with this time change thing is getting the kids to go to bed when it's still light outside.
Or getting me up in the dark to go to the gym. Oy.
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, Robert Waltz and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
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