 Mystery: June 15, 2005 Issue [#420] |
 
Mystery
This week: Edited by: darkin
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Welcome to the Mystery Newsletter. A good mystery is like that strange friend you've always had, and wouldn't give up for anything. Mysteries make you think, trying to solve the crime before the detective can. You follow ever clue, examine all of the crime scenes and remember what each suspect said when questioned by the detective. A good mystery can keep you interested until the end. A great mystery will keeps you guessing until the last page...when it makes you slap your forehead in surprise!
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** Image ID #916735 Unavailable **
EDITING, ARMY BRAT STYLE
ATTENTION! Listen up, Creative Soldiers! My name is Staff Sergeant Darkin. While you are here I will try to give you the information you’ll need to turn your rough draft into polished prose.
So, you’ve written a story? You’ve created characters, given them a purpose and obstacles to overcome, and you’ve crafted an ending sure to make any editor scream for more! But, is it ready to send out??
Well see…
First you need to check for the 9 Most Unnecessary Words.
Is and the rest of the to be family: am, are, was, were, will be, have, has, had been, will have been and be. While it may be the preferred verb, rewriting usually shortens and enlivens the sentence.
Marylyn was walking down the street.
Marylyn walked down the street.
There – Almost every time you see there, a to be verb is right behind. Get rid of both and add a more descriptive verb.
There is something strange around here.
Something strange lurks here.
To - sometime this adds baggage.
She is starting to feel sick.
Her stomach turned.
And – when editing this word, be careful. You can change the meaning of the sentence by removing ‘and’. Always consider the alternatives first.
She looked at me and laughed.
She looked at me, laughing.
She laughed at me.
She laughed.
See the differences.
By - can be unnecessary, depending on what you are saying.
He was followed by a dark and mysterious stranger.
A dark and mysterious stranger followed him.
His and similar possessives.
He turned, his eyes glowing.
He turned, eyes glowing.
That. While we use that in almost all our daily conversations, it can slow our writing down considerably.
I knew that he was a dangerous man.
I knew he was a dangerous man.
The – most of the time you’ll need it, but be sure.
The windows slammed shut behind him.
Windows slammed shut behind him.
Of – can usually be removed.
She was getting married in the month of April.
She was getting married in April.
Now, you're finished, right? Maybe not! While these little words can add more than you want, taking away life from your story, another danger maybe lurking in your story. Modifiers. The dreaded –ly words are difficult to avoid, but if you do, your story will come to life….
she ran quickly down the hall.
She darted down the hall.
My last comment, Creative Soldiers, is to read your story out loud, either to yourself or someone you trust. I have found if I hear my words spoken, I catch more unnecessary words.
Now, drop and give me 20…paragraphs that is.
darkin
Here are some short stories I found while traveling the highways and byways of Writing.Com!
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What is your favorite part of a mystery; the crime, the detection, or the solution?
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