 Comedy: February 09, 2011 Issue [#4227] |
  Comedy
This week: Valentine's Day Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought - I had been told - that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Valentine's Day
(again)
Welcome to the special MEN ONLY edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Ladies, go do some... scrapbooking or something. Or watch Oprah. Run along, now. Buh-bye.
*Puts up the NO GIRLZ* sign*
*Pulls up the rope ladder and closes the treehouse door*
It's that time of year, again, brothers. It's crept up on us, stealthy, like a thief in the night - or would be if its marketing gurus hadn't ramped up the campaign to where it's starting to rival that of Christmas.
That's right - it's nearly Valentine's Day again. Or, as some would have it, Singles Awareness Day. But I'm thinking that's a label slapped on it from some girl who got dumped on a February 7 one year, and is bitter.
But we're not bitter, are we, brothers? No! We love the women in our lives; of course we do!
All I'm asking you to consider, though, is this:
Does the fact that we love them mean that we have to shower them with cloyingly sweet chocolates, offensively overpriced roses, and special "Empty Wallet" prix-fixe dinners at fancy restaurants?
I say NAY!
Enough! We've had all we can stands, and we can't stands no more - amirite? Yes, I am! Valentine's Day is a terribly one-sided holiday: we give, they take! And woe betide any of us who gets the brand of chocolate, the type of rose, or the restaurant reservations wrong! Yes, woe be upon any of us who don't Follow The Script for the annual February chick-fest! (Especially when we have to do it again, on their birthdays! At least the birthday is something real to celebrate, a time to give thanks that she's in your life!)
Here's a guy who won't take it anymore, either. He's started a boycott of Valentine's Day, calling it a "nomance" - and he's right!
This year is the year, brothers. This year is the year we rise up, shake off the red satin chains of our oppression (unless you're into that sort of thing, not that there's anything wrong with that) and Be Men. Stand Your Ground. No chocolates. No roses. And no long, overpriced, underserved dinners out.
Yes, gentlemen, Valentine's Day has run its course. It's over. It's time to stand up and announce that such a one-sided holiday has no place in today's world of gender equality and social parity.
Okay? Okay, that's all. Meeting dismissed. You can all leave the secret clubhouse, now. Wait, a question? What's that? Why, yes, I *am* single. What does that have to do with anything? |
Romance always makes good comedy fodder. Here are a few items that mix the two:
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Last time, in "Comedy Newsletter (January 12, 2011)" , I praised the virtues of dirty words.
BIG BAD WOLF is Howling  :
Censorship is a pain in the..... butt. I wonder how John Wayne would take it.
Oh, pS For those of you planning on seeing the True Grit Remake, the "Famous line" is in. 
(Submitted item: "True Grit Scene Spoof" [13+]
There were some very funny moments in True Grit. Definitely worth seeing.
LJPC - the tortoise  :
Hi Robert!
While I'm not against a swear word or two, I find the author's better off placing them carefully. If they are used to modify a flowerpot, readers may be offended. If they're used in the MC's thoughts when he wakes to find his house is on fire, it will work. 
-- Laura
Yes, one gets inured to overuse, but even that can be used to comic effect - anyone who's seen the movie The King's Speech knows what I'm talking about.
Handel Handle :
They don't seem to have a problem using those words on Britsh telly. Unless it's before 9pm and Ofcom find out. Then you're in trouble.
Well, sure, but just try using the word fanny there. (You may have invented English, but we perfected it.)
scribbler :
Dirty words are my favourite! Maybe it's because I'm a 5'4, twenty one year old girl, but people always expect me to be a sweet and adorable as I look. Letting a string of dirty words loose is my favourite thing ever!
And very, very satisfying.
Well, that's it for this month! Guys, write in and let me know how the whole Valentine's Day thing worked out for you. Girls, get back in the kitchen and make us some pie. Until next time...
LAUGH ON!!!
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