Romance/Love: September 28, 2011 Issue [#4633] |
Romance/Love
This week: Finding Love Online Edited by: Crys-not really here More Newsletters By This Editor
1. About this Newsletter 2. A Word from our Sponsor 3. Letter from the Editor 4. Editor's Picks 5. A Word from Writing.Com 6. Ask & Answer 7. Removal instructions
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Hello, my name is Crys-not really here and I'm happy to be the editor for the Romance/Love Newsletter this week! |
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Finding Love Online
As some of you may know, my former boyfriend and I first met through Writing.com. It was way back in 2006 and I was hanging out in WDC chat when a conversation with a stranger turned into two conversations, then three then four.
Finding love online will probably always be a controversial issue. Some believe that it's impossible to really know someone solely through words on a computer screen. I'm obviously of the belief that friendships can be made online; love online, however, should be approached with caution and maturity.
Mark and I first met in person at a Writing.com convention. At that point, although I did have strong feelings for him, I wasn't about to jump into one of those "online only" relationships. The truth was, I had just ended one of those, complete with what I thought was a broken heart (ha!). Meeting in a public place with lots of people around was a safe way to get to know each other. Just as I had expected, our interactions in person were much different than online.
Consider that text on the internet does not convey tone, infliction and emotion. It is easy to transfer the emotions you want to hear onto the words of the person you're communicating with.
Consider that first impressions can be conceiving. Even if the 35-year-old man you're talking to on the internet really is 35 years old and not 60, he may not look like what you assume from his description, words, actions, or even photo.
So, even after we decided to "make it official," I was aware that online relationships usually have a short shelf life if one party has a different expectation than the other. I had no intentions of maintaining an online-only romance, especially since I had had no previous serious romances. So, we started traveling to meet each other between work and school schedules.
Long distance relationships will work if you make them. Before you become emotionally invested in someone, consider if you're willing to put in the time and money to make it work.
If you ultimately decide not to put time and money into a long-distance relationship, but continue an online relationship with someone, consider your long-term investment. Are you going to still want an online-only relationship down the road? How easily do you "fall in love"? Will your heart be broken if you break up with your partner? How about if you find out, God forbid, that the person you've been communicating with is in a relationship with someone else? (Remember that first "online only" relationship I had? That's how it ended.)
No relationship is perfect, and I'd argue that online-turned-long distance relationships can be even harder to maintain. You know those movies like You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan falls in love with her arch nemesis Tom Hanks through instant messages? Suddenly, they're no longer enemies and live happily ever after. Or all of those stories you can find online about long-distance love affairs and meeting each other in exotic locations for the first time? That probably won't happen. But if you want to make a relationship work, it can.
I will probably never sign up for one of those online dating sites. I find the idea of meeting random men creepy. Although some couples may find love through those sites, I think meeting someone online should be more or less like meeting someone in person. You hang out in similar places, you have similar interests and then- bam!- one day you connect. For me, Writing.com is a much more organic place to meet someone with similar interests than an online dating site.
Be careful who you give information to. Even on a site like Writing.com, it can be dangerous to give out personal information like your address or phone number. I'm sure you've heard the horror stories about women meeting men they met online and things turning dangerous quickly. Even if you think you know the other person, meet in a public place and be on the look out for strange signs.
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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Writing.com has successfully brought together many couples. Anyone else want to share their story?
Feedback from recent Romance/Love Newsletters:
My favorite all time romantic couple is Romeo & Juliet. Their tragedic love story really resonated with me when I was a teenager. Nowadays? I'm a sucker for Maria & the Captain from The Sound of Music. -StephBee
I couldn't stand The Bridges of Madison County. Francesca was a stereotypical martyr wife and Robert Kincaid had romantic male lead cliche written all over him. And really, why did she stay with her husband in the first place and just sleep with this dude for a week? I know it was the 60s and all but come on! I like heroines that are problem solvers, not jellyfish. I felt insulted by the book because I felt like it was trying to redeem infidelity. Infidelity is NEVER the answer. -Swilltastic
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