  Spiritual
This week: Perfection Hurts Edited by: KimChi  
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Hello, I'm Kimchi, this week's newsletter editor. The purpose of the Spiritual Newsletter is to explore matters of the soul, question reality, dig beneath dogma, and find out what makes humans tick.
This week we'll take a look at the idea of perfection-a lovely sounding word with a ton of negative connotations.
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Perfect is an adjective meaning "without faults". Perfection is a noun meaning "the quality of something that is as good or suitable as it can possibly be." Which is a perfectly suitable definition as it does NOT say "without faults".
Because perfection is an illusion. Strictly speaking, no material item, nothing of this world, is perfect. And of course no person is perfect. So forcing an assumption of perfection on our behavior, our bodies, or our relationships is asking for disappointment.
Here are some ways I've noticed perfection can let us down:
Perfection sets us up to fail before we begin.
If we strive for a perfect (fill in the blank) we are striving for a goal that, by definition, cannot be met. Best to strive for "excellence" rather than "perfection".
An assumption of perfection can lead to false perspectives.
For example, growing up I watched the Brady Bunch religiously. Somehow I got the idea that most families were like the loveable, colorful family on my TV screen-a giant caring group of kids with incredibly understanding, hip parents who helped them solve minor problems to learn major life skills in less than 30 minutes.
This false assumption about the American social fabric did more harm than good, as not only did I see my family as dysfunctional and imperfect, but I saw myself as "less-than", which made me ashamed.
An assumption of perfection can lead to false conclusions.
A stereotype is still wrong even when it's flattering. The rich friend married to Adonis with 2.3 model children is definitely not perfect, and she may not even be happy. (She's hooked on Oxycontin.)
The PTA president who volunteers excessively and makes sure his kids excel is not perfect. (He makes every day count in his battle with cancer.)
Perfection can lead to stress.
Being all things to all people (or working at one thing obsessively) is the road to a massive heart attack. The "perfect" wife, soccer mom, and socialite extraordinaire can only maintain the illusion for so long until her body rebels, leading to stress and illness.
Perfection can lead to poor self-image.
We are bombarded with media reminding us that we should have even, white teeth, rock-hard abs, glossy hair, and a fat bank account. When we compare ourselves to actors, rock stars, or billionaires, we usually come up short. It's great to have goals and role models, but it is not healthy to force ourselves into someone else's mold, such as the idea that all women should be 36-24-36.
Perfection can lead to procrastination.
This is a huge one for me. I'm such a procrastinator I made a reminder sign:
It doesn't have to be done perfectly--it just has to be done.
I read it, like, 20 times a day but it obviously isn't sinking in.
Because this newsletter won't be perfect, and it won't be as good as the last one, and I've got no new ideas. And since it will never be perfect, why even start? So I don't start. Days tick by, rational thought becomes harder so I check my files, but every kernel of genius I ever wrote is now unusable rubbish.
With five hours to go and nary a thought in my head, I'm guaranteed to fail. No, this newsletter won't be perfect, or as good as others, because I've made sure of it by waiting until the last minute, which guarantees a freak-out, a mad scramble, and the resulting, scrambled, mess. Perfection  procrastination  self-sabotage!
No one is perfect. Everyone has burdens, flaws, and vices regardless of the masks they wear, regardless of our skewed perceptions formed from our own filters and biases.
We are not our white teeth, our master's degree, or our gorgeous body. Life is less about education, achievements, and other people's expectations than about striving for our personal best. Our character outshines materialism and vanity, so feeling good about where we are right here, right now; feeling content and satisfied in this flawed body is probably the closest we can get to a perfect life.
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 Items about Perfection
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This item number is not valid.
#1780219 by Not Available. |
Beauty born of age and imperfection,
external reflection of the inner self.
Traces of regeneration,
new life formed from death..
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This item number is not valid.
#842373 by Not Available. |
"Not today Frank, please. It's too hot."
Frank glares at me, his perfectly shaped brown eyes penetrating my thoughts, sending a shiver of fear down my spine.
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This item number is not valid.
#1638152 by Not Available. |
Ashleigh glared at her reflection as hot tears trailed down her cheeks. She looked at the bodies cut from her favorite fashion magazines. Each clipping was an image of perfection -skinny bodies covered with pristine, silky skin.
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This item number is not valid.
#726679 by Not Available. |
When we glimpse perfection
In a song, a tree, a view,
When everything falls into place,
We see God's beauty too.
| |  | Shame (E)
Shame, once recognized, can be seen as a source of empowerment!
#844709 by BeHereBook |
Shame is...
leftover dirtiness.
On me.
Shame on me
for not being perfect. Shame on me
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 Comments from last month's newsletter:
BIG BAD WOLF is Merry 
A punch to the jaw deals with most vamps. Knocks out their teeth.
alfred booth, wanbli ska }
Was very intrigued by your vampire article heading the Spiritual newsletter. I'm glad I read on! A very pertinent issue in today's "me, me, me" world
ElizabethHayes-DaughterofIAM 
Just a comment... Not ALL vampires are bad.
Robby :
I know a real Psychic Vampyre and Voodoo HP. His name is ***. I convinced him to sign up on Facebook, look him up if you really have questions, he is a student of life and a teaches other psychic's how to control their energies so it doesn't consume them. Nice guy and I can feel his wisdom, he's not human... I don't think you could upset him, but I wouldn't try. If your consciousness resides mostly in your host you are a robot to the societal core and life is just a ride for you.
siouxme
There is always help available. Ask Archangel Michael to use his sword to cut the ties
that bind you to people, places, emotions, possessions, everything that is draining your
energy. It truly works. You can also protect yourself by asking your Spirit Guide and
your Guardian Angels to surround you in white light and allow nothing but the highest
loving energy to reach you. If you do this frequently you will find your energy
returning.
tangerinedream
I understand this viewpoint about the "energy vampires", yet I don't totally agree. While there are some who will drain you, if you let them, there are others who through no fault of their own, do not even realize what that feels like to have it happen to them. Some couldn't grasp it, even if you were to try to explain it, because of cognitive issues. And in that case, it is not an excuse, but a reason and for them I am talking about. There are always variables to this condition.
The bottom line is that if you don't do something with a good heart, then don't do it at all, and only you can draw the line as to how far you are willing to go with anyone you feel is draining your energy.
Sometimes I have to stop myself and draw back from it, which is unfortunate because then the lines of communication also are threatened or shut down.
Thanks for the read.
Dreamin1
 Question
How does perfectionism hold you back? How do you overcome the illusion of perfection?
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Spiritual: October 05, 2011 Issue [#4646]
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