 Spiritual: November 15, 2011 Issue [#4719] |
  Spiritual
This week: Saying Goodbye to Our Best Friend Edited by: Sophurky  
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Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Spiritual Newsletter. We recently lost our beloved labradaughter, Kayla, after an amazing 10+ years together. Writing about our heartbreaks helps us heal - so this edition of the Spiritual Newsletter is a tribute to her life.
The Rev. Scotty McLennan, author of the book "Finding Your Religion," compares humanity's innate need for spiritual searching to climbing a mountain. In his view, we are all endeavoring to climb the same figurative mountain in our search for the divine, we just may take different ways to get there. In other words, there is one "God," but many paths. I honor whatever path or paths you have chosen to climb that mountain in your quest for the Sacred.  |
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Saying Goodbye to Our Best Friend
This is Kayla. She is what some dog lovers call my soul mate or heart dog. She shared her life with us for a brief 10+ years, and during that time the world was a better place for having her in it. Kayla passed on to whatever comes next for perfect, loving souls like hers on October 23, 2011, and this issue of the Spiritual Newsletter is dedicated to Kayla - and to all the pets who have shared their lives and their love with us, and made us better people for it. Part of healing devastating life situations and losses, for those of us who are writers, comes from writing, and this is no exception just because Kayla was a dog. Writing about Kayla, whether in essay or memoir form, or a poem, will help me deal with the overwhelming sadness as well as pay tribute to what she meant in my life, and be a testament to the special relationship we shared.
We adopted Kayla from our local shelter when she was two years old - she was an overweight, undisciplined, wriggly mess of a dog, but from the moment I looked into her eyes I fell in love, and I am confident the feeling was mutual. Her name was Michaela, which means "who is like God," a perfect name for her, which we shortened to Kayla (which means the same thing). She moved effortlessly into our home and into our hearts, and became part of our little family which, at the time, included my husband, Bob, Dugan our Siamese cat, and Sheba, our husky/shepherd mix dog.
A year after we adopted her my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My parents lived in Southern California and we were living in Illinois when my family asked for my help when my father entered home hospice care. So I took a leave of absence from my job and traveled west, leaving my entire human support system behind for six weeks. Fortunately my canine support system was with me, and Kayla quickly became an integral part of our hospice team as we took care of my dad, and each other, during his final weeks.
She licked tears when we cried, played ball or took a walk with us when we needed a break, and slept next to me every night so I wasn't alone. Kayla, who was usually a ball of clumsy energy, was surprisingly gentle and calm around my dad, resting her head on his knee when he was sitting in a chair, and lying at the side of his bed with him when we were busy doing other things. On the day he died, she was one of six female souls in the room when he passed - my mother, sister, niece, me, and the hospice nurse - which seemed right and natural. It was so powerful, I wrote this poem about it "The Day My Father Died" . It was a bond that meant the world to all of us.
After my father died Bob flew out to California for the memorial, and we drove home through Utah, stopping a Zion National Park where Kayla, barely out of the car, immediately walked down and waded in the Virgin River. We returned a year later to camp there for two weeks, and Kayla spent every one of those days in that river. We threw balls and sticks to her, and she never seemed to tire - in fact, she was always disappointed when we put the balls away and headed back to camp. After that we camped all over the US, and always made sure there was water nearby - whether it was a river, Atlantic Ocean, or a large Midwestern lake. She loved to swim, and she was darn good at it - and so we tried to make it happen as often as possible because it brought her so much joy. The Virgin River was her favorite destination (she had such good taste) and I am so glad we returned there a year ago to camp for what turned out to be her last time.
She of course brought us joy too. Whether it was her goofy smile, tripping over her own feet on a slick floor, or clearing a coffee table with one sweep of her tail, whenever Kayla was with us we were in the presence of the sacred. We humans talk a lot about unconditional love - and to be honest I'm not sure it really exists between people. Maybe a parent for a child, but for most other relationships - friendships, marriages - there are conditions. Treat me well, don't cheat on me, respect me, don't steal from me, etc. And when those conditions are broken, relationships fail. Not with dogs. No matter what we do or say to them, they live and love us in the moment, and that is a sacred gift.
Some people don't understand why we grieve so profoundly when a pet dies - some might say, "But it's only a dog!" or "Can't you just get another one?" And perhaps they mean well because they simply do not understand, but in the end of course, those words are not helpful. If you have not loved and lost a pet, it's hard to know what that experience is like, so perhaps a heartfelt, "I'm so sorry for your loss" is more appropriate. We've had many people send us cards and make donations to animal shelters in her name, which has certainly helped in our healing process. Additionally, because we had her cremated, during the next year or two we plan to take her ashes to all the places we visited, and sprinkle some in all the lakes and rivers and oceans which were such a part of her living.
What about you? Have you had your heart broken by the loss of a beloved pet? I'm pretty sure most of you have. Write about it and share the item link with me - I'll share them in my next newsletter. Thanks for listening.
Kayla in the Virgin River, November 2010 |
Below you'll find a few items about the importance of our pets, as well as some that deal with death. Some are older items but well worth a revisit. Please let the folks know if you read their piece by leaving a thoughtful comment or review.
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Here are some comments from my last Spiritual Newsletter on "For All the Saints," "Spiritual Newsletter (October 19, 2011)" :
From Mia - craving colour 
Hi Sophy, I always look forward to your editorials.
They are refreshing, enlightening and beautifully writing.
I like the balance you hold in this edition of exploration of traditions related to the end of October. In particular I like the story and your commentary surrounding this particular quote.
"I am the whole reason that they have existed at all"
What a rich view and so laden for a reason to take responsibility for the way we live.
Thank you for sharing this insight.
 Mia
Thank you so much for your kind words, and for your thoughtful comment on the quotation.
     
From markmyword
Dear Editor: Thank you so much for this piece on the Sacred Ancestral Season. I am the author of two books which may be of interest. They are:" Jambalaya: The Natural Woman's Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals "(Harper San Francisco, 1985) and" Carnival of the Spirit: Seasonal Celebrations and Rites of Passage" (1995) The first one introduces the reader to African and African American Spirituality and has become a Women's Spirituality Classic. The second is an invitation to global celebrations.
Starhawk is a friend and sister to me and we both engage our spirituality to help people overcome the isms. Also, you may find some very important words in a new anthology entitled "Shades of Faith" , writings by people of color who practice paganism. It is edited by Crystal Blanton.
Please feel free to connect with me if you would like to share more about this fascinating subject.
Thanks again.
In the work,
Luisah Teish
Thank you so much for writing in and sharing some of your work - glad you enjoyed the newsletter!
From nino 
As i was thinking...there is a curve called failure........
i was just thinking
there is a curve called failure,
a loop called confusion,
speed bumps called friends,
caution lights called family,
and you will have flats called jobs.
But,
if you have a spare called determination,
an engine called perseverance,
insurance called faith,
and a driver called God,
you will make it to a place called heaven.
Do good, and leave behind you a monument of virtue that the storms of
time can never destroy. Write your name in kindness, love, and mercy
on the hearts of thousands you come in contact with year by year, and
you will never be forgotten.
Your name and your good deeds will shine
as the stars of heaven.
may God keep us all in the light of HIS love
aamiin
noreen with good wishes
What a lovely sentiment - thank you so much for sharing!
Please keep your comments coming, they are greatly appeciated! ~ Sophy
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