 Comedy: December 13, 2011 Issue [#4766] |
  Comedy
This week: Holiday Parties Edited by: Waltz Invictus  
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"I had thought - I had been told - that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Holiday Parties
a survival guide
Yep, it's that time of year again - the time for enforced cheer and mingling. If you're an extrovert, that's great, but for introverts like me, navigating the minefield of end-of-the-year parties can be tricky.
So I, your faithful Comedy Newsletter editor, am here to help you through the sticky situation of family, office, and social network Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice or whatever... you know, Holiday Parties.
What to wear: This is, for me, the worst part. I'm a rock band t-shirt and black jeans kind of guy. I can, in a pinch, wear a polo shirt or something with actual buttons, but I don't pull it off very well. And if a tie is called for? Well, the good news is, ties aren't really called for, these days. Whew. Anyway, remember to contact your host(ess) to ask what sort of dress is expected. Nothing is worse than wearing ratty blue jeans to a formal party, except maybe wearing a tux to a ratty blue jeans party. Or, perhaps, thinking it's a costume party when it's not. Difficulty: if she says "come as you are," and you've called right after a shower, please remember to put on clothing prior to arriving at the party. Unless it's that kind of party, in which case, remember to invite your favorite Comedy Newsletter editor (which would be me).
What to bring: Do you bring a gift for the host(ess), or not? Some parties will explicitly state "bring a toy to donate" or "bring a can for the Food Bank." Awesome. That's great. But do you also bring a Lego set or some such for the people putting on the party? This is like tipping, for me: if it's not a restaurant, I have no idea whether or how much to tip. Likewise, do you bring something for the host(ess)? Or a dish, perhaps? Even if they say no? My advice? Call someone else who's going to the party, ask what they're doing, and then do the exact opposite, because they're trying to one-up you.
Drinking: Do it. Seriously. If the party explicitly forbids alcohol, get blasted beforehand, and bring an easily-hidden flask filled with your favorite distilled libation. It's a known fact that it is impossible to get through a holiday party sober. Yes, I know that I'm not supposed to recommend drinking, smoking, or sticking a Q-Tip into your ear canal. Do it anyway.
Once at the party: Be sure to express your religious, political, and sexual opinions every chance you get.
After the party: If you're not sure whether to send the host(ess) a thank-you or an apology? Send both.
Or: Hide in your basement and play Skyrim.
Most importantly: Ignore all of the above and have a good time. Just remember: It's easier to gain forgiveness than permission! |
If you're anything like me, you're already sick of anything with a "holiday" theme. If you're not like me, skip the following: a collection of non-holiday comedy.
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Last month, in "Comedy Newsletter (November 15, 2011)" , I talked about injecting humor into serious writing. Some of you had comments.
njames51  : Sending this comedy/non-fiction piece to whoever is writing the comedy newsletter next week. Can you forward it to the guest editor? Much appreciated. [Submitted Item: "A Loosey Goosey Turkey" [13+]]
May be a bit late, but I'm including this here anyway.
LJPC - the tortoise  : Robert - It's great that your characters are humorous. There's nothing that appeals to people more than funny characters; they're more sympathetic, and the readers will root more when the characters face your dastardly, puppy-killing villain. You're a star for doing NaNo. (Too much pressure for me.) Good luck! 
-- Laura
Thanks! And I did manage to finish NaNo, but the hard part - editing - is still to come!
BIG BAD WOLF is Merry  : More pizza is needed. [Submitted Item: "Family Christmas" [E]]
More pizza is always needed.
Smiling Jack : Great NL, Robert. As you illustrate so well, when you have a good sense of humor it will find its way into your story.
Thanks! I'm a big proponent of including something funny in everything, as long as it's not too inappropriate.
And that's it for me for 2011 - the good news is, I'll be back next year for more of the Comedy Newsletters you know and love! Until then, whatever you celebrate, have a great holiday, a happy and laughter-filled New Year, and be sure to make it a resolution to...
LAUGH ON!!! |
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