 Drama: December 20, 2011 Issue [#4786] |
  Drama
This week: What's in a Description? Edited by: Sara♥Jean  
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What's in a Description?
A large part of drama is emotion. Without it, there is only a narative or article. A script without actors, so to speak. It just doesn't work without it.
One of the most common review comments I see on the public review page is, "Show me how your character feels. Don't tell me." Within this genre, that is even more vital. However, those words alone don't show anything at all. Some tell people to show, but don't demonstrate how, making them just as guilty of telling, rather than showing what they mean. 
In this newsletter, I am going to demonstrate how to show, instead of tell, how a character is feeling. I will give you a few examples, and then give you a little challenge within the "Ask & Answer" Section.
Anger
Telling: Bob storms out of the room in anger.
Showing: Bob storms out of the room with his fists clenched, red creeping up his neck all the way to his cheeks, and his eyes narrowed.
There is no denying, in either sentence, how Bob is feeling. The second sentence, however, shows the reactions to the emotion, rather than stating the emotion itself.
Happiness
Telling: Sally skipped down the street happily.
Showing: Sally skipped down the street with her arms waving easily at her sides, a brightness in her features, and a lighthearted whistle on her lips.
In this one, I exaggerated a little, perhaps showing a little too much description, but I did want another example. I will only torture you with one more.
Sadness
Telling: Sandra shook her head sadly as she looked at the ruined present.
Showing: Sandra shook her head, a small pout touching her lips and moisture rising into her eyes as she looked at the ruined present.
Admittedly, this is not a lot. The sentences are a little longer, yes, but the substance is much more than a greater length for your written word. Giving the reader something they can see in their mind is a powerful approach, and will allow the reader to more easily be drawn in and connect with the story.
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|  | Golden (ASR)
A Microfiction to portray an event of a single moment; one some may feel is controversial.
#899633 by Jack Goldman  |
| | Monster (18+)
If you call someone a name often enough they may soon believe it
#259585 by Andrea |
| | | Ghetto Gospel (13+)
A novel in process about two kids growing up in Harlem. Recommended for any teenager.
#943478 by Aislynne |
| | | Second Chance (E)
A young surgeon discovers the real reason his fiancee disappeared two years earlier
#661067 by Bobbi |
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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For the other editors of this newsletter (as I am only a guest ), submit your best example of SHOWING emotion. It can be any sort of scene you'd like. I'll still check back and see what you put in!
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| ASIN: B07N36MHWD |
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