 Comedy: May 23, 2012 Issue [#5056] |
  Comedy
This week: Brimspringa! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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According to Wikipedia:
" A view of rumspringa has emerged in popular culture that this divergence from custom is an accepted part of adolescence or a rite of passage for Amish youth. Among the Amish who use this term, however, rumspringa simply refers to adolescence. During that time a certain amount of misbehavior is unsurprising and is not severely condemned (for instance, by Meidung or shunning)."
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Hello, folks. Welcome to another edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Just as those teens look forward to their Rumspringa, WL and I have our own time of middle-aged frenzy, lasting about a week, three times a year. It is an event we have dubbed, Brimspringa. It's actually, Brimfield Antique and Collectibles Show, Brimfield Massachusetts.
Web-Lock and I try to attend each day and walk the many miles of antiques, collectibles, junk which is somebody's treasure. However, I'm usually limping after a couple hours of trudging through the uneven pathways, sometimes rocky terrain and at times, muddy fields. With my bum hip, that's no easy task. But, hey, it's exercise and good for me, right?
Anything seems to qualify as a collectible at this show. Take for instance a rock. Yes, a lovely "painted-looking," Madagascan, rock. It sold for twenty dollars. Wow, who would pay twenty dollars for a rock? Doesn't matter, it looks great in our china closet.  And, speaking of china closets, I have this irresistible urge to collect dishes, plates, platters and other unique tableware. Of course, with about a dozen sets of dishes already, I can't fit anymore in the china closet next to that giant rock! 
The toys we trashed as kids are now selling for outrageous prices. I wish I could find my original, headless Barbie doll, now.  Actually my mother gave away most of those collectibles my brothers and I had but never realized, to our younger cousins when we outgrew them. I wonder if my cousins held on to them? Barbie's head pops on easily, right? Although, I should have taken better care of her ponytail.
You never know what will pass you on the walkways. Coming face-to-face with a giant metal grasshopper, is not unusual. So, you can expect to get bumps and bruises by the end of the day.
Somehow, the vendors seem to remember WL and me from previous shows. They call out to us by the names of the things we collect. "Hey there, Tool Man, I've got a great deal for you! I've acquired some of those unique planes and mallets you love so much! Because I know what a sucker you are for this crap and haven't been able to dump them in a year of shows. I'm willing to part with the lot for a very reasonable price. In fact, I'm actually losing money on the deal, but, hey, I appreciate a person who respects these treasured antiques as much as I do."
And then, it's my turn. "Yoo-hoo, Ms. Flow Blue! It's me, remember? You bought that lovely platter from me last year. Well, I went to this estate sale and purchased all the flow blue dishes this person had. I was thinking of you, a serious collector with impeccable taste. I've been keeping it under wraps just for you." Translation: I can't afford the rent of this lot until I sell this overpriced china. So, I'll make it very attractive by marking-up the price dramatically and then whisper a price that is about half the cost and tell her that it's because I know the stuff will be appreciated and would rather lose money than let some snob have it.
Folks, Web-Lock and I have learned to dodge those vendors maturely and with dignity. Once we've spotted them, after they've spotted us from a distance, we wave back to them, sporting huge smiles. We can see their body language and know they are tickled pink to think they are drawing us into their web of deceit. We start walking closer, still smiling; all of a sudden, both of us get distracted by a tent filled with various war memorabilia (which neither one of us collect,) and duck inside while holding our fingers in the air implying to the other vendors that we'd be only a minute, then we sneak out the back side and avoid that row of dealers for the remainder of the show. 
In doing this quick maneuver, we ended up in a lot that was filled with sculptures of fowl, crafted out of metal. I came face-to-face with a colorful hen wearing glasses, backed away and bumped into this huge cock. Oh, puhleeze, you know what I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter. Which reminds me, why did the turkey cross the road? Because the chicken had the day off!
So, you see, folks, Brimspringa is an event that we can't bear to miss. Hey, if you're ever in the area, on that certain week in May, July and September, give yourself a treat and loads of laughs, by attending the Brimfield Antiques and Collectibles Show.
That's all she wrote for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch
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