 Comedy: August 08, 2012 Issue [#5191] |
  Comedy
This week: The Sale of Sophy's House Edited by: Sophurky  
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Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week I'll update you on the status of selling our house, or trying to anyway, because I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to hear.  |
| ASIN: B01MQP5740 |
Product Type: Kindle Store
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Amazon's Price: $ 4.99
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To Sell or Not to Sell - That is Now the Question
As you read this we will have entered day 93 of our home hostage crisis. Our house went on the market May 7, with an average sell-time for houses in our area of 90 days. As we hit Day 93 we are pondering the wisdom of moving at all, and our current home - stairs and all - is looking better and better to us every day. What do you think, Dear Reader? Should we pull our house off the market and make do with what we've got, or hang in there?
We've done everything our Realtor told us to do - we moved the clutter out of our home into a rental COW (Container on Wheels) and "staged" it so that it looks open and roomy and bright and attractive (after painting inside and cleaning the heck out of it). We set a price she suggested, and later lowered it twice after hardly anyone even came by to look at it. (Someone asked me recently if we'd had any offers - I said no, and at this point I'd be thrilled if we even got an insulting offer!) We had four Open Houses (a fifth one is coming up this Saturday). And a couple of weeks ago we finally succumbed and bought and buried St. Joseph upside down in the front yard.
| ASIN: B000MN2TNQ |
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Amazon's Price: Price N/A
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Speaking of St. Joseph, where and how the heck do you bury him? I googled it and got at least 50 different "You must bury him this way ..." including:
Upside down facing the house in the front yard under or near the For Sale Sign
Upside down in the backyard on the property line, facing the house
Right side in the front yard, in the direct center of the yard, facing east
Upside down 3' from the street facing the house
Upside down exactly 12" deep facing away from the house in the front yard
Right side up in the front yard facing the house
Every web site had something different, so I finally buried him upside down in the front garden facing the house, because the ground was softer there. Well, actually Mr. Sophy did it, shaking his head the whole time and hoping none of the neighbors saw him. I also wrote the house a letter. Yes. I wrote the house a letter. Someone told me to write a letter to my house, thanking it for being a lovely home, and asking it to let us go and allow a new family find a home here so that we could move elsewhere. I wrote the letter, burned it as directed, and then scattered the ashes (not sure where to scatter them, I did it near St. Joseph). At this point if someone told me to go outside and howl at the moon at midnight during a full moon I'd do it.
The worst part about having our house on the market is that we have to keep it clean. I mean, crazy clean. Because one never knows when we might get a call from another Realtor saying someone wants to see our house. So instead of enjoying my usual slovenly cluttered life I have to pick up after myself, keep the kitchen spotless, the dust dusted, and the floors clean. Oh, and make the bed every morning. Mr. Sophy loves this, as it's always been his dream to live in a nice, neat house - my dream involves cleanliness but not so much the neat part.
I secretly wonder if our house is even really on the market, especially since only about 12 people have been through it in 3 months. Maybe Mr. Sophy just put a sign in the yard and has random people call me every few weeks to say they want to "view" our house. So it's not really for sale, but the house gets kept clean at all times, every day, and occasionally when we host an "Open House" we clean it even more thoroughly. Now that I think of it, this must be what's going on. I shall investigate and get back to you next time ...
Sophurky |
Below you'll find some of the more recent comedy offerings from other WDC members. Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.
| |  | Beach Lenses (13+)
On an empty beach, words appear vaster than the sea, and everything echoes once or twice.
#1884043 by Anna  |
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#1883804 by Not Available. |
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#1881635 by Not Available. |
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#1881364 by Not Available. |
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (July 11, 2012)" about finding comedy in the midst of tragedy:
From NickiD89 
I absolutely loved this NL for its anecdotes and powerful message. I'll bet your mom is smiling down from heaven, enjoying the memories right along with us!
Thanks so much! 
     
From LJPC - the tortoise
Condolences on your mother's passing, Sophy. You're brave to write about it, but you've never been shy, have you? I agree it takes very special talent to write things that make people laugh or cry. Like you have -- you make me laugh all the time! As a Horror writer, I don't have that ability, but I can make people afraid to turn out the lights! 
~ Laura
Awww thank you for the kind words
From Being Diane
I put laughter in a funeral. Can't get any better than that....poor Uncle Grady. I know he's still laughing in heaven.
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Thanks for sharing this!
From Quick-Quill 
I read this newsletter with a smile of my own. Two years ago after doing tests we were told my father had had esophageal cancer. My sisters(2) and I went with my parents to the appointments. We are a fun loving family. We laughed while sitting in the waiting room, smiling at the others that were solemnly seated. We teased and laughed when we all marched into the examination room. When we were told each time that things might get worse our faith in God was strengthened. We laughed at all the things he had done in his life. I began a notebook of things he remembered from his childhood. We laughed in our little room while he received his treatments. He saw some rather large potato heads dressed in Star Wars costumes and commented on them each time he walked by them. We (children) laughed as he has never seen Star Wars let alone Star Trek. I found two on ebay and bought them for him.
With each visit to his main Dr. we attended in group(4-6) supporting Dad. Dad and I went to his June meeting alone. Dr Y told us that the cancer had spread and the choices were surgery or 3-6 months. We asked if Dad were his own dad what advice would he be giving him. No surgery, well actually he detailed the surgery and said even then the prolonging of life would not necessarily be a better life. Dad gave him a little more of his personal testimony and said he had lived a good life these 82 years and had no regrets. We went home.
That is not the end of the story. We have our church campmeeting (going on right now) and my father was prayed for as we believe. By the third week in July he was stealing tidbits off my mom's plate with little effort in swallowing. By the end of July he was eating small amounts of what ever was being cooked for their meals. The first week in Aug we went to a family reunion and he at a hotdog hamburger (not bun) but all the trimmings, a weiner and some potato salad without his throat spray (he forgot it) End of Aug they celebrated 60 yrs of marriage and 7 went to the Dr Appointment filling the room with our joking and high spirits about what was going on. Dr Y said sometimes this happens before the end. We laughed and said, "Really? You have seen people with 2 months to live eating like this?" "No" We were confident. The Dr was amazed. We laughed and joked with him every month from Sept to Dec. He wouldn't admit that it was divine healing, but there was something there.
In Jan when we went to see Dr Y for that last time to have the J-tube pulled and were told there was no sign of the cancer just a little scar tissue. What we saw as we waited in the waiting room was a sign that limited the # family members in the exam room. We tee heed about it thinking they just couldn't deal with a large supporting family with a lot of faith in God's power. We didn't go back but Dad goes once a year and Dr Y calls him his miracle man. Dad is 84 this year. Laughter is a form of healing and relief. When we know our loved ones have reached their goal there is only the missing and loneliness of not being with them that effect us. Remembering all the funny little things that happened is what carries us through those times.
Thank you so much for sharing this story - so glad things are going so well with your Dad!
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
| ASIN: B01DSJSURY |
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Amazon's Price: $ 5.99
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