 Comedy: August 15, 2012 Issue [#5200] |
  Comedy
This week: When the last "birdie" has left the nest Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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It's the time of life when parents finally get a breather. The house is quieter, cleaner and roomier! How does Web~Witch feel about the baby leaving the nest?
Let's take a look... |
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I finally paid a visit to Web-Son's apartment. It's not that I'm opposed to visiting him when I'm in the area; it's just that he lives on the third floor of a six-flat apartment house. With the recent corroding of my hips requiring replacements, I just can't be as athletic as I used to be.
So, when WL and I made the trip to his place to return the wallet, with all of his ID, keys and cell phone he forgot when he spent the weekend at Web-House,  I decided it was time to make the journey up the stairs. (Don't you just love it when your independent son still depends on you to cover his forgetfulness?)
WL was already ahead of me, wisely thinking I would remain in the car. By the time I got four steps from the top, I noticed a note on the stair wall. It said, "knock here first." Hmmm, warnings knock? Was this my son's idea? What does he have to hide, demolish, flush or clean-up before a knock on the actual door is too late? 
When I asked WS why the sign was so far from the door, he told me it wasn't his, it was his next door neighbor's.
I pasted a smile on my face and said, "Tell me about this neighbor, Web-Son."
"Oh, that's plant man."( He has a porch filled with very large-leafed plants. They look beautiful from the street, by the way. I wonder what's hiding behind the begonias, gardenias, ficus tree, and ornamental grasses?  )
"Plant man used to be a hippie in the old days. (Old days?!!) He's kind of a borderline anarchist, but he's a good neighbor. He's the one who likes his company to knock on the stair wall before approaching his door."
"I see. So, do you have to go down a few steps, knock on the wall and climb back up to knock on his door when you are the adjoining apartment?"
"Nah, that's just for non-tenants."
"Hmmmm, I guess he's interested in the company you receive, also. He couldn't help but peek out his door when we knocked on yours."
"No worries Web-Mom, he's okay--just a little cautious."
Why would that be?
I found out while I was there that my son's oven quit working.
"Why don't you tell the landlord so he can get it fixed?"
"No, we don't call the landlord in this building. It is the consensus of all the tenants of the building that we don't need or want him here. As long as he gets his rent and doesn't get bothered, he won't think about raising it."
"Oh, I guess that makes sense. "
The guy on the first floor agrees and he's a retired chemical engineer and a millionaire. He says he doesn't want the landlord mistaking his old classroom chemicals for something sinister."
Now why would he think such a thing?!!
"I'm the one who's worried now, WS. Are you sure you're safe here?"
"Oh, I'm good. I've already seen which chemicals he has and I know in and of themselves, they are harmless."
Not feeling convinced, yet.
"Why is a millionaire living in this apartment house, anyway?"
"He likes it here. Been here for twenty years and has no desire to move. We all get along great. Mutual respect--that's what it is."
That appears to be the truth because WS's car broke-down months ago and has been parked on the front lawn. He's just getting around to having it towed and repaired. No need for it being available quickly when everything's walking distance, I guess. Since I'm no longer in Florida, he wants to spend a little time at the old homestead getting some good food. But we don't want to continue being weekend chauffeurs. So he finally decided it was time to fix the car.
He always has great movies and television series to watch when he comes for a visit.  He befriended a neighbor on the second floor, whose computer he fixed. The man was fighting cancer and before leaving for hospice, he gave my son all of his video collections.
He had many movies and all the modern classic series: Dead Like Me, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Dexter and probably some other shows that have nothing to do with death. I loved all of those series. I wonder and worry about who will be the new tenant on that floor. Will he agree to their in-house rules?
I met WS's roommate on this trip up to the third floor. Nice guy, great personality, computer geek--just like my son! He used to do all the laundry when they moved in and my son did the cooking. Thankfully, WS learned a lot of tips in the art of cooking in my kitchen over the years, so they ate pretty well. However, Web-Son's shirts all have these large white spots where color used to be. I guess someone's mom didn't teach her son the art of separating colors from whites when bleaching.
All in all, it was a wonderful visit. I'm not worried a bit about my son's new life of independence. I can also run in the next Boston Marathon.
It's a wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch
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A couple of empty nests:
It starts with a date:
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Then the marriage:
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You know it--the baby carriage!
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Annette 
That was a fun look into your life. I've got three boys, and yes, it seems as long as I throw food at them (and video games) they are happy. I should write down more of the funny things they say and do. The good thing is, they have access to a video camera and produce all those things on their own. All I have to do is sit back and watch.
Ain't modern technology the bomb?!!! It's much easier to have the memories recorded at the touch of a button. However, when actually jotting down your emotions at the time, what you thought of the young filmmaker's video production, (your internal reactions) you have the full picture of the video that can be vital when the comedy muse strikes. Three boys are quite a package deal! You will not lack for humor with them around. 
Thanks for your feedback!
Quick-Quill 
I thoroughly enjoyed this newsletter. I was having a no so good morning and scrolled the newsletters to see KIDS' I had to read and am still smiling at the humor. My nephew went to a fair with another aunt and came home describing all the animals including an Aflac he saw. When asked what? it was an Aflac like they have on TV. A white goose. What a kick kids are!
That's the truth! Kids are a great tool for kickstarting a sluggish muse. Thank you for your comments. I'm happy you enjoyed the Newsletter. 
Joy 
"Until next time, laugh hard, laugh often!"
After this issue of the comedy newsletter, I'll be laughing all the way to Judgment Day, WW. 
Thanks! 
And I'll be hitting my head why I didn't come up with a "I'm not your real mother" thing with my wild bunch.
So happy I can keep you in laugh-a-matic spasms 'til the end of time, Joy! It's just one of those little perks I offer to my readers. But always remember to breathe, in-between the giggles. We want you around for a long, long time! Judgment can wait.
LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi WW!
So your son washed his bills and was a "money launderer"! Priceless! This NL gave me lots of great laughs -- even if they're at the expense of your children. No offense, kids. Thanks, WW!
~ Laura
Thankfully, he uses a bank, now. Those ATM cards don't take well to the dryer!
Thanks for the feedback, Laura.
drjim
Aye well, Missus WONG! I thought all of these last 4+ years that those four young ladies CLEARLY could not be your offspring because of the entirely different thought processes they displayed at various 'family' events. Yeah....right. Anywho, serves them right - er...WONG... for doing so. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, their little brother continues to plug away, showing the world that he understands the axiom that no soap operas need apply! Proud of him! So WW, back to the drawing board as we anxiously await your next NL! Muwaah, Doc
Well, Doc, the girls are Half-WW, so you'd have to expect a little dram-edy!
submitted item:
"Take Your Son to Work"
Thank you for your feedback, folks. We editors really appreciate it!
WW
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