 Spiritual: March 20, 2013 Issue [#5559] |
  Spiritual
This week: Is There Anybody In There? Edited by: Shannon  
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Welcome to the Spiritual Newsletter. I am Shannon and I'm your editor this week. |
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Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
~ Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd
So you finally mustered the courage to tell your best friend how that thing she said or did made you feel. You poured your aching heart out, but she looked through you instead of at you, and you could practically see the wheels spinning inside her head as she prepared her defense.
She didn't hear a word you said.
We've all done it, and we've all had it done to us, but one of the most memorable examples I've ever heard was told by the amazing singer/songwriter Sara Hickman who wrote a love song for a boy when she was a teenager:
"If I play it for him he'll fall crazy in love with me, so I wrote him this song and I got on my bike and I had my guitar over my back and I rode over to his house. He was home and he let me in and I said, 'I have this new song. Can I play it for you?' and he said, 'Sure, sure. Come on in.' So I sang him this song , and I closed my eyes and I just thought, I'm gonna sing this with all the love I can, and when I open my eyes he's gonna be sitting on the floor in front of me just crying and telling me, 'Oh, you're the most awesome girl on the street. I wanna go out with you.' I was so sure that's what was going to happen. When I finished singing it he was still sitting across the living room, and he was looking at me. And all of a sudden he goes, 'So, do you want a Coke?' I couldn't believe it! I was like, Oh my gosh, I just gave him my heart and he didn't get it."
I bet that 17-year-old boy is kicking himself now! 
Sometimes it's hard to bite your tongue, especially when you feel as if you're being verbally attacked. You want to interrupt, defend yourself, tell your side of the story, but because you're thinking about what you'll say you're not hearing anything the other person says. This can be devastating to any relationship.
We all want to be heard. One way you can show others you care--that you love and respect them and their feelings do matter--is to listen. Don't interrupt. Don't think about defending yourself or winning the argument, actually listen to what's being said and try to understand the issue from their perspective. Don't respond in anger. (I find it much easier to live with things I wish I'd said than things I wish I hadn't.) Consider your words carefully before you allow them to leave your mouth.
Listening isn't passive, it's active. Listening is an act of love. It takes practice, but it's a practice that leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Thank you for reading.
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I hope you enjoy this week's featured selections. Please do the authors the courtesy of reviewing the ones you read. Thank you, and have a great week!
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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The following is in response to "Spiritual Newsletter (February 19, 2013)"
Incurable Romantic  says, "Shannon, 'Man's Best Friend', was an excellent article, and well written. Your last two paragraphs really sum it up nicely. I hope there are many who read it carefully, and learn from it. I can honestly say I believe those who do will be the better for it." Thank you, Jim! I'm glad you liked it. 
Chrisola  says, "The story titled 'Man's best friend' is educative and enlightening. It takes concentration to understand that the second paragraph is a continuation of the main story. In any case the plot makes good reading. The dog being the main character would probably have made the story more mocaptivating, but on the whole it is worth reading." Thank you, Chrisola, but it wasn't really a story. It was an editorial in the Spiritual Newsletter. Thank you for reading and commenting! 
A*Monaing*Faith  says, "Ahh, great story and analogy to dogs, wish mine had found his way back, similar story....though I don't know about them not being manipulative, I've had some pretty smart doggies that could hold a grudge long enough to get back at you before they remembered you're their most favorite person in the world.  " LOL Yeah, I've seen dogs do some pretty amazing things too. Thanks for submitting a story to the NL! I've included it below. 
Humming Bird says, "This is an awesome newsletter Shannon! Thanks for adding my story in!" Aw, thank YOU, Falguni! And you are most welcome. 
WriteWords says, "Great newsletter. Operative word is 'choose'. Which means that we are responsible. Can't blame anyone else. We choose to speak life or death into our lives as well as the lives of others. What you put out is what you get back." I couldn't agree more, WriteWords. Thank you! 
The following is in response to "Spiritual Newsletter (February 12, 2013)" :
Jacqueline says, "when i say ihaven't accomplish anything its more i spent to much time on Facebook, or to much Tv instead of spending time on my writing. i feel guilty when i waste time. I am happy with my life and the challange God give me (Well Sometime)." We love our guilt, don't we? We love to bash ourselves for not writing enough, but even if you only write 250 words every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday that's 250 more than you wrote on Tuesday, Thursday, or Sunday. We must be kind to ourselves. And finding a routine that works for you is very important (in my humble opinion). I make myself sit down every day for at least 30 minutes to write. I've heard people say that they only write when creativity inspires them, but if I did that I'd never get anything done. We ALL make excuses not to write--Oh, it's so beautiful outside! I think I'll go for a walk, or But my favorite show is about to come on, or I'll write tonight after everyone's gone to bed.--and being distracted is a choice. Whatever you choose, embrace the decision you've made and forgive yourself. Thank you for reading and commenting! 
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