 Romance/Love: June 12, 2013 Issue [#5706] |
  Romance/Love
This week: Love and Body Image in Romance Writing Edited by: Crys-not really here  
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Hello! My name is Crys-not really here and I am the editor for the Romance Newsletter this week. I always like to focus this newsletter on issues that are important to me, and I hope some of you will relate too! |
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Love and Body Image in Romance Writing
I've been reading a lot about female body image lately, partly due to a book called Big Big Love, Revised by Hanne Blank. The book is a self-help book of sorts for women and men of size, and covers every aspect of relationships, from dating to sex. (Be warned if you pick it up, it's a wonderful resource, but graphic in some parts.)
The funny thing is, I probably would not have even picked up this book if I weren't already been in a supportive relationship with a guy who loves my physique just the way it is. However, it got me thinking about how self body image can affect a person's social and love life. For some, body image influences every aspect of their lives, from what they wear to who they date, and even if they date at all.
In Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones constantly obsesses about two things: her love life and her weight. To quote Bridget (or to quote her as much as I can here), "“Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms . . . And especially will not fantasize about a particular person who embodies all these things.” While this seems like such a stereotypical view of women, many women (and men) think very similar thoughts every day. "Am I pretty enough for him?" "Am I too fat to get a date to my cousin's wedding?" "Who is ever going to love me as long as I have this acne?"
Yet mainstream culture insists on barraging us with images of super skinny, flawless people, and romance writing is no exception. It is much more common for the romantic heroine to be skinny, blonde, perky and all of the other things society says equals "attractive" and for the romantic heroes to be tall, dark, handsome, muscular and "perfect," than for either one of them to even think about their flaws while looking in the mirror before a date. One of the reasons, of course, is because romance novels are grounded in fantasy. We eat them up because they allow us to escape from the reality of our stressful lives. However, I personally relate more to characters who have some sort of quirk or "flaw" that makes them stand out from all the others.
In a recent online search for "romance novels featuring plus size women," I discovered a growing list of romance novels embracing big, beautiful female characters. Novelists you have heard of, like Meg Cabot, are jumping on the bandwagon too. And that gives me hope that the romance world is expanding further into other directions too, embracing characters who aren't perfect and couples who aren't "traditional."
When it boils down to it, everyone deserves to be loved, even if they do have issues with their bodies. Some say that in order to find love, you first need to love yourself, flaws and all, and I agree. But I also think that having the right person by your side on days when you don't feel very confident can make a big difference. If I were to write a romance novel, I would much rather see pieces of myself in a character than someone who was already "perfect." |
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Thanks for your comments on my last Romance/Love Newsletter, which was on the topic of communication:
Hey I think I'm similar to you in this matter. I tend to be able to express myself better in writing but you're right, so much can be misconstrued that way too, depending on the circumstance. Maybe it's a case of figuring out the best approach in each situation. -blue jellybaby 
I have followed the Jodi Arias trial since day 1. Voicemail, recorded cell phone conversations, texts and emails were the backbone of this trial. What "romance"; sex, lies, texts and voicemails.....Its a wild story! and its REAL. -Quick-Quill  |
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