 Spiritual: June 19, 2013 Issue [#5739] |
  Spiritual
This week: The Power of Acceptance Edited by: NaNoKit  
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Living up to other people's expectations of who you should be and what you should do with your life is exhausting and, quite often, impossible. It is much better to accept who you are and go from there.
This week's Spiritual Newsletter, therefore, is all about acceptance.
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If I have learned anything in the past year or so, it's that the way you think things should be, is not always the way things are. I mean, technically speaking, parents should love you and be there for you, but that's not always the case. I should be able to do things other people do without giving it much thought, but not everyone is the same, and some have more obstacles placed in their way than others.
Accepting this can be difficult. It can be frustrating. A trip to the cinema, for example, is a pleasant evening out for most people, whilst for me it's a source of stress and potential panic. Sitting an exam, on the other hand, is an unpleasant experience for most, but for me it's got the added dimension of sitting in a room with lots of other people whilst I have a social phobia.
For many years, I lived in shame. Why couldn't I be like others? What was wrong with me? Why was I so messed up? I should be able to do ordinary things. Still, by this time last year, I thought I was loads better than I used to be. That is, until I gathered all my courage, flew over to my family, and some of them let me know that, no, I am definitely not like them, and that that's a bad thing.
For a while, this affected me greatly. I withdrew into my shell. Over time, though, I learned that as difficult as it is, acceptance is the way forward.
Acceptance of who you are, of your situation, of the way you work, is, in my opinion, the first step towards inner peace. It's a realization that the way things are is a fact. As much as you would like for things to be different, for you to be different, it is what it is, and you are who you are. And that's okay.
It does not mean that things can't change, or that you can't change. It doesn't mean that you can't move forward. Acceptance provides you with a base level of being, and helps place everything in perspective. It also helps you notice the good along with the bad. Even though life is not ideal, there tend to be positives to your situation. People who love you the way you are. Skills you brushed under the carpet, ready to be explored.
When I began to accept myself, and accepted that others do not accept me, I learned to appreciate what I have in my life. Instead of listening to those whose expectations I can, frankly, never live up to, I listened to those who are right beside me and encourage me to work on my own expectations. Constantly trying to be someone you're not is exhausting, and tends to hinder instead of help.
These last months I have moved forward at my own pace. I know where I am, and where I want to be. I also know who I am and who I want to be. I set myself challenges, and tackle them in a way that suits me. For example, I just sat my first exam in over twenty years, but I made arrangements to sit it at home. That way, I only had to deal with the type of anxiety every student tends to face, and my chance at success is the same as that of everyone else.
This kind of acceptance works on every level of my life. When listing my skills, I included writing. I'm not the world's greatest writer, but over the years my words have made people laugh, and made people cry, so there's something there. However, I accept that I will never write a best-selling action/adventure novel, because I am terrible at writing action scenes. When I try, and read them back, I get confused at what's going on, so my readers wouldn't stand a chance. My skills rest elsewhere, and that's fine.
As said, acceptance does not mean that you have to stop moving forward. It's taking stock of who you are, and what you can do, and learning to live with it. When you have done so, you can build on it. I find it much better to work with what I have, than to struggle with what I think I ought to have.
A few years down the road, I expect to have completed my University degree. I expect to still be a member of Writing.Com. Perhaps I will have published more of my work, but I know that regardless, I will be writing, and so long as some people enjoy what I do, it's all good.
I know that I won't be living the life, or have the career, some people want me to. They'll be disappointed, but the important thing is that I won't be.
It's like the old saying that you can't live your life for others. And that you've got to make the most of what you have. I guess some sayings do contain wisdom, because I'm happier now than I used to be, and I hope that my experiences help other people who feel stuck.
kittiara
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Here are some of the latest additions to the Spiritual genre. I hope you'll enjoy them  .
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The Spiritual Newsletter Team welcomes any and all questions, suggestions, thoughts and feedback, so please don't hesitate to write in!
Quick-Quill  - logic is to the ability to anaylize right from wrong. Reason is to know when to act on the difference and faith is the belife that when you don't know the difference, a higher power does and will guide you. I believe all three can work together if you don't allow one to overpower the postion of the other.
Knowlege is knowing a tomato is a fruit reason is knowing not to add it to a fruit salad. faith is knowing how it grew.
I also believe that all three can work together. There is definitely room for logic, reason and faith .
~~~
Zeke  - We should always be careful not to place all our faith in logic.
Agreed. Especially as what is seen as logic changes over time, and one person's logic differs from another person's logic.
~~~
ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy  - Thank you for your sweet, amazing compliment of my writing. I'm deeply grateful. Ann
Thank you for your kind words, Ann. And you are welcome. You deserve it .
~~~
Christine Cassello - Even if the Big Bang Theory does prove correct. Where did the mass that exploded come from? If that can't be answered there is still a need for faith in a more powerful being who brought it all into existence.
Aye, there are still many questions that remain unanswered. Like the cause of the Big Bang. Something, or Someone, must have started it off.
~~~
Lesley Scott - I was born into a religions family and went to church every Sunday. Now that I am much older, I question some of the Bible. Mostly, I try hard to be a Sage of the Tao. This book was written 3,000 years ago, 650 years before Christ and has been published and translated almost more than the Bible. It is full of love and how to take care of the earth and love everyone.
I have heard of it, but not yet read it. I think I ought to .
~~~
richardhead - Good one, Kittiara,
Favorite subject for many moons. 1,000 letters? Yea, right? Here's a beginning. Heb.11:1 Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hesse (Siddartha)brought forward logic and reason with feeling and intuition as mixed proportional ingredients in peoples complex make up. In a lot of his characters one would be logic & r, other int & feeling. Apply this formula to good friends. My ideal was 50-50 a balance human. F & I is woman and L&r man. Yin-yang.
Faith is outside law. But when I say welcome to the law of liberty in love it is spritual principle/law. So, ( time out)
I agree, it's all about balance. Logic and reason, intuition and feeling, all have their place, and all have their importance .
~~~
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team
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