 Spiritual: September 21, 2005 Issue [#622] |
  Spiritual
This week: Edited by: Puditat  
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1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
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Spiritual: relating to the spirit or soul and not to physical matter; intangible. Collins Dictionary and Thesaurus
This newsletter explores ideas of the spiritual nature that exists in each and every one of us in an open and non-judgemental manner.
Each editor brings to the newsletter their own backgrounds, experiences, beliefs and opinions. Whether you disagree, agree, doubt or applaud the views expressed, let us all show respect to each other. Together we can learn something about the many varied aspects of the spiritual self and enjoy our differences in true meaning of the Spirit of Community.
Enjoy! 
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Keeping Faith in the Face of Tragedy
The Final Episode
In the first part, I looked at things to remember when faced with a situation that knocks your faith. The last issue was an interview with PastVoices , looking at her own personal journey and examples of dealing with grief.
This issue, I want to complete the process by giving you my thoughts and sharing some of my personal examples.
1. Give yourself time
When my first husband committed suicide, I could not face church for almost two years. I tried to attend, but the emotions were so overwhelming that I could not keep making myself so vulnerable every week. I did not step away from God, I did not love Him any less. In fact I tribute my making it through this time to God and my closer walk with Him. I honestly clung to God like a life raft for He was the only constant in my life then. He never changed, but things around and within me were a maelstrom I never want to experience again.
I am not advocating that you skip going to church, or doing whatever it is that your faith requires, but that you allow yourself the time, without pressure, to heal.
I took two trips in the first year of widowhood. One was just a long weekend trip away, one was a two week cruise and a further week in Sydney, Australia. Sometimes getting away from the well-meaning sympathisers can allow time to shake down the thoughts and emotions in an anonymous environment.
2. Talk
For a year I did not talk to anyone about what I was feeling. Not really. After 12 months, I would stalk into the empty staff room at work, pick up my coffee mug and glare at the far wall, wishing with all my might that I would let myself go and throw it. I did this up to a dozen times every day.
Surrounded by workmates who cared about me, they organised some grief counselling for me. I found, to my surprise, that I didn't become a blubbering mess in these sessions, but could calmly talk about what was going on. Sometimes talking will make you vulnerable, and sometimes it will not. Do not be afraid to talk.
I recommend using a counsellor who belongs to the same faith as yourself. This allows you to look at the Spiritual effects of what you're going through. A regular counsellor may be unable to comprehend the spiritual factors that have just as big an influence as anything else.
For me, one of my biggest issues was whether I could ever marry again. It wasn’t something I could even imagine doing, after all, how could I replace my one true love? But I was worried I might fall in love with a second man, and whether I was ‘allowed’ to marry again. Conversely I was also concerned about a long, lonely future, being a widow forever. I was only 24.
Our feelings don’t always make sense—my two concerns would seem contradictory. But the point is, my secular counsellor could not address the spiritual implications of all this.
A Christian friend later reminded me of my vows: "Till death do us part."
3. Sink yourself into the tools of your faith.
I could not face church, but my Bible offered a soft, comforting place to land. I could read, and the Holy Spirit spoke to me gently through that. Prayer was an even greater support. So many times I would shout, cry and scream at God. He wore a lot, and He graciously takes it, and then hugs you even closer than before. A lot of the time I wrote these prayers out in a journal. I go back and read them from time to time. Sometimes I laugh at the things that I was so worried about, other times the tears come as fresh as if it were yesterday.
You have a choice. You either pull away from your faith, or you grow closer. I got closer; I had to, to survive. I could not imagine abandoning my God, but I also understand those that have difficulty in this area. So I return to point number one - give yourself time. Don't make rash decisions, your equilibrium has taken a beating and it needs the space to settle.
4. We're writers...so write!
Writing is a great carrier of emotion. It doesn't have to be a prize-winning epic, or a poem worthy of publication. In fact, most often pieces written in grief will never be suitable for public perusal. The emotions are so raw, the situations very personal and desperate. Writing is a healthy way to deal with those emotions which may be hard to express otherwise.
Protect these writings. If you do want to share them, be prepared for feelings to resurface or to take criticism--the reader may not identify with the pain and feelings expressed. Some people post such writings on Writing.com. If you do so, I recommend placing it as non-rateable, unless you truly desire to have it become a publishable item.
~~~
These are ways I have found to build and maintain my faith. It is by no means the only things you can do.
It is natural to have many questions at a tragic time, as well as the extremes of emotion. God can handle your questions, and sometimes He will even answer them.
My last bit of advice, is hold fast. Hold fast to that which you believe and trust in God to bring you back to a place where it can give you joy once again. It will happen.
Till next time;
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Puditat,
I appreciate you and your newsletters. I agree with you that, between the four editors, a reasonable range of beliefs/perspectives is represented. I also read the editor's picks, and have found an even broader expression. This newsletter provides a venue for those of us who write about what we believe.
As Christians, our God wants us to encourage and strengthen and love and minister to anyone who will receive that from us. The need for those things goes beyond issues of faith; it is central to our humanity. Keep doing what you do!
Also, as writers of "spiritual matters", we need to not be so quick to shut out, or take our name off of a newsletter subscription list, simply because we don't agree with something or someone. I wonder if that member would have felt the same if the newsletter had been in agreement with their beliefs. Hmmm?
Big Mike 2humble2bragbut...
Mike, your feedback is such a blessing, such an encouragement to me right now.
I agree completely with your last paragraph! How can we learn if we never allow ourselves to experience new things? To me it is the equivalent of someone un-subscribing to the poetry newsletter because they don’t think ‘freeform’ is real poetry.
Thank you, Mike. 
Excellent newsletter Puditat! I thank you and Past Voices for sharing that which offers hope to get through the darkest times imaginable. Uplifting!!
windac
You are always a darling! Thank you.
Thank you for sharing my story Puditat. After the interview, so many other "quakes" came to mind (divorce, premature twins, losing my father and father-in-law). I could be a pretty dismal and miserable person if I didn't try to look at God's bigger picture.
Bless you in your answer to the person who found our sharings more religious than spiritual. It all depends upon what we are looking for.
PastVoices
I thank YOU, sweetie, for being so willing. And I thank you for your feedback, which always blesses me. May your future paths find many joys. 
Great interview 
Shadow
Thank you!
it was really nice to read the stories and poems espcially when im losing faith.
PCorrie
I’m glad you found something uplifting, and wish you all the best on your spiritual journey.
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