 Comedy: May 14, 2014 Issue [#6311] |
  Comedy
This week: We Sold A House Edited by: Sophurky  
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We Sold A House
When you last heard from me, Mr. Sophy tricked me into buying and I bought a house without the benefit of selling our house first, thanks to Realtor Extraordinaire, Tammy. I was in tears at the end of my last newsletter, wondering how we were going to make this all work and be able to actually buy our new dream house while our current house was still, well, our current house. We were doing things backwards and it was stressing me out!
Alas, I should not have doubted the powers of Tammy and her drones (see previous newsletter). Because two weeks ago, a SOLD sign magically appeared in our yard. How did the magical Tammy make this happen, you ask? Were there military drones involved? I can answer the former - the latter, however, well let's just say I plead the 5th! 
As the closing on our new house approached, I began to panic and have anxiety attacks become concerned about the wisdom of buying a new house before our house was on the market. I expressed said concerns to Tammy, who replied by telling me she had a couple who wanted to see our house.
ME: What? You know this is Sophy, not another client who currently has a For Sale sign in her yard.
TAMMY: Yes I know. Does 5pm tomorrow work for you guys?
ME: Does 5pm work for us for what?
TAMMY: Do we have a bad connection or something?
ME: I don't think so, why?
TAMMY: Because I said, I have a couple interested in seeing your house tomorrow at 5pm, does that work for you guys?
ME: And I said, WHAt? How can someone want to see our house when it's not even on the market? (I peek out the window to make sure one of Tammy's drones has not dropped off a "For Sale" sign in our yard while I wasn't looking - nope, just a bunch of dandelions like earlier today.
TAMMY: Because I let some other Realtors know it was going to be coming on the market soon and one got back to me saying they had an interested couple. It's called a pocket listing - which just means a house is available to be shown to prospective buyers before it is officially listed for sale.
ME: Huh?
TAMMY: Just Google it later - for now, can they come see the house tomorrow at 5pm?
ME: Um, I guess so?
Still not convinced Tammy had the right client I went and told Mr. Sophy the news. His response was to go into a house cleaning frenzy to prepare for our showing the next day. My response was to fill my wine glass and go do a Google search for "pocket listing." Thank goodness Mr. Sophy chose the more practical response because the next evening, at 8pm, we had an offer on our house which, for all intents and purposes, was not publicly listed for sale. We accepted the offer, and will close on our current house on June 16, just 2 weeks after we move into our new house.
I think we broke a record for fastest house ever sold in the history of houses for sale since, technically, we sold it 30 days before it was going to go on the market. So our record for selling our house is -30. After signing the purchase agreement and getting dates set for the inspection and other details, we once again marveled at what an amazing Realtor Tammy is. We asked her how she did it, and her reply?
TAMMY: I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Then she laughed, tossed her hair, and disappeared in a cloud of pixie dust.
To be continued . . .
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (April 16, 2014)" about buying a new house:
From Quick-Quill 
My husband was a custom home builder. He built homes, we lived in them and he would build a model and put both on the market. If the model sold I sighed and if my house sold, we moved to the model and built another. Our last house in Hudson,WI was on the market in Jan (no model this time, we were moving west) by July no bites. We went to Portland to our church camp meeting and came home with a promise we would be moving. Five days after we returned, the listing had expired, we got a phone call. There was someone sitting in our driveway to see our house. Mr. Builder was sitting is the den in his skivvies playing games on the computer. I was still unpacking from the trip. I threw stuff into the washer and dryer and into my closet under the clothes. After 3 days we had a purchase agreement and had to move in 3 weeks. We did it and I'm still living out of boxes after 7 years. But I an in Oregon and this last Jan my father past away. I'm glad we moved.
Wow that was a whirlwind move! Hope you get out of your boxes sometime soon. Sorry about your father.
      
From THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! 
SOPHY! How could you? How could you? To be continued, indeed, and me hanging on tenterhooks to know what happened ...
Sheesh. You think you know someone, and then they spring 'to be continued' on you ... !!!!!
In case you didn't get it, I'm complimenting how you told the story and how involved I now feel in it, and yes, do milk the humour all you want, it's fun! 
Sorry to keep you waiting, hope this newsletter satisfied your cliff hanging!  By the way, it was "to be continued" last month because I didn't know how it was going to turn out until now!!
From LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi Sophy! I loved the newsletter, as always! That Mr. Sophy sure is a sneaky one - and patient too. He must be a champion practical joker. And thank goodness, Tammy the Drone Commander is on our side. She's a one woman army. 
~ Laura
Tammy is a ROCK STAR and my new favorite person!!
From Creeper Of The Realm 
Oh, boy! The house-buying/selling process. I'd love to have one out there, in the middle of nowhere - away from Tammy's drones. Hope all works out good for you guys! ~ Gaby
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
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