 Comedy: July 02, 2014 Issue [#6409] |
  Comedy
This week: Weather or Not Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
-Mark Twain (or maybe not )
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Back in the old days, when you ran into someone you barely knew, or perhaps a stranger on an elevator, or the attractive person waiting with you at the bus stop, you could always start a conversation like this:
"Lovely weather we're having."
The best thing about that statement was that it's all-purpose. It could be sunny and 20°C and it would be a simple statement of fact. Or there could be a hurricane going on with tornadoes sweeping the area and flooding down by the river, and it would be a sarcastic remark. Either way, "Lovely weather we're having" was a non-threatening, safe way to open up a conversation. And maybe the person would respond, and maybe not, but it just doesn't matter - it was a conversational gambit, an ante to a possible round of cards.
Incidentally, it took me years to figure that out. I'm not one for small talk, and I get nervous meeting new people. Yes, I'm socially awkward. What comes naturally to most people takes thought and care on my part. Which is probably why I make so many jokes I later find out are inappropriate.
Anyway, turns out that now, that becomes a conversational minefield. Because, inevitably, someone has to ruin a perfectly good neutral topic of conversation by coming down on one side or the other of the debate about global warming.
"Lovely weather we're having" is now almost invariably followed by "Yeah, I can't believe those global warming freaks" or "Yeah, I can't believe the idiots who don't accept that the climate is changing."
And since this is a comedy newsletter, I'm not taking sides here, but I will say this:
Weather is not climate. Just because it's snowing where you are doesn't mean that they're not melting on the other side of the planet. And just because it's a perfect, beautiful spring day a month after the winter solstice doesn't mean the planet is turning into a hothouse.
Certainly, here in the US at least, we have freedom of speech. That means you're welcome to express an opinion on one side or the other, or make jokes about it, or whatever. In other countries, your mileage may vary (sorry - your kilometerage may vary), but the point is that if someone wants to talk to you about the weather, try to keep the conversation on the topic of weather.
Not climate.
Save the debate for the internet.
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Last time, in "Comedy Newsletter (June 4, 2014)" , I talked about spiders or something.
Mummsy  : Have I ever told you Goldilocks' first knock knock joke?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Moose!
Moose who?
Moose moose . . . ah-choo!
See the majestic Møøse...
Quick-Quill  : So a Lady walks into a bar wearing a surgical mask and says "Gimme a beer."
Bartender says "I don't allergens.
Have you seen a doctor recently?
Chriswriter  : You missed my all-time favorite, this knock,knock joke. So we're standing there, I ask if you like knock, knock jokes, you say yes. (keep scrolling)
I say "Great! You start!"
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Doctor." "Doctor Who?"
BIG BAD WOLF is Howling  : Life is always crazy. But at least you're not a bank robber who somehow bungles every attempt, like Kirk Douglas in "The Villain". Staring Arnold Schwarzenegger in his only Western, you'll get a boatload of laughs out of it. [Submitted Item: "What's Behind Me?" [13+]]
Are there horse masks? Horse masks are never not funny.
inky14dinky: I found this issue to be very informative. I have some trouble sometimes with the comedy genre. Your newsletter is a go to place when I have questions. Thank you for writing it.
How to be funny: throw in a duck.
brom21  : Comedy is not my genre; not that I don’t like it; I just have never really put my mind to it. I have told people the “walking into a bar joke” and I have to tell them what the punchline means. Afterwards, they laugh or laugh inside. One of my favorite one liners is: (paraphrased a bit) (Every thirty minutes a woman gives birth. That woman must be found and stopped.” I just laughed as I wrote this. It never gets old! Do you have a parody or one liner that never gets old?
Rule 24 of comedy is that if you have to explain a punch line, it won't be funny. And no, all my comedy gets old, which is why I have to swap out my friends for new ones every few years so I can recycle the jokes.
Angels in my Ear : Are you looking for some feedback on your comedic wit? Come and bid on the comedy genre review packages and find some fellow comedians who know their stuff. [Submitted Item: "Genre Auction and Fundraiser" [E]]
Support your fellow ducks!
And that's it for me for now! July's a long month, so you get to put up with me again before it ends! Until then, stay cool and...
LAUGH ON!!!
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