 Comedy: July 09, 2014 Issue [#6418] |
  Comedy
This week: Our New House Edited by: Sophurky  
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| Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. |
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Our New House
So I know I said I wouldn't write about moving anymore (unless we move again) - and I am keeping my promise. Sort of. In this issue of the Comedy Newsletter I will not talk about moving, but I will talk about the comedy involved in living in a new house.
Waking up in strange room
While we now sleep very well in our new room, the first few nights were a hoot. I kept waking up and not knowing where I was. The window was in the wrong place, and more importantly, the door to the bathroom was not where it was supposed to be. I got up and wandered up and down the hall the first night, thinking the door to the hallway was the bathroom door. Fortunately Mr. Sophy woke up and redirected me before there were any "accidents." On the next night, Mr. Sophy got so disoriented he got back into bed on the wrong side (my side) after visiting the loo. Or so he claims! 
Light Switches
Our new house has a ton of light switches - there are wall panels with 2 or 3 switches all over the upstairs. And we cannot remember which switch is for what. Near the sink there are 2 switches, one on either side of the sink - and for the life of him, Mr. Sophy always mixes them up and turns on the garbage disposal instead of the light over the sink, or visa versa. I have got those figured out, but the 3 switches in the dining area have me flummoxed. One turns on the light over the dining table, one turns on the light for the stairway, and the other turns on the kitchen light - no big deal if I flip the wrong one on that panel, I just flip til I get it right.
But over on the opposite wall are 3 more switches. One is for the ceiling fan, one for the hallway, and one for the entryway. I inevitability turn off the ceiling fan when I mean to turn on the hall light. No big deal, right? Well actually, it is a big deal! Because if I switch off the ceiling fan I can't just flip it back on and have the fan working again. Nooooooooooo! I have to walk all the way over to the kitchen counter (all of about 15 feet), open the drawer, find the fan remote, and turn it on with the remote - after which the fan will turn back on, but only if I remembered to leave the switch on. If not, I have to go alllllll the way back over to the switches and make sure the right one is on for the ceiling fan. I am wrong about 60% of the time.
So yeah, I am going to start marking our switches. I'll say it is for some mysterious old person who lives in the basement, and laugh as I tell guests "Poor old thing, just can't remember which switch is for what!"
Weird Noises
Our new house makes weird noises. Or more to the point - it is much quieter than our old house. Take the dishwasher for instance. Our old "Whisper Clean" dishwasher made so much noise we had to go outside to hear ourselves talk! Okay, I exaggerate slightly, but let's just say that if we turned it on before bed, 3 walls away we could hear every cycle, when the soap dispenser opened, and if there were pots in the bottom tray. Our new dishwasher is so quiet, neither of us know it's running and often open it, mid cycle, to add a new dish, only to be surprised by steamed glasses when we open the door.
Also, we no longer have the loud, barking dog, Mr. Jones next door. Yes, we have 3 new little yappy ones- but they don't have a doggy door they can go in and out of whenever they want. Mr. Jones, could come and go from his backyard as he pleased - which it did every time we pulled into our driveway, every time we put something in the trash, and every time we wanted to go outside and enjoy our back deck. The 3 yappies are annoying, yes, but they only come out when our neighbors let them out (which is too often for my liking) and they don't have free access to come and bug the crap out of me like Mr. Jones did.
Neighbors
Speaking of neighbors - we had lived here a month and hadn't met one of them. Not even the ones next door. We have this funny game with them. If we sit out on our screen porch and they are out on their deck, we look in their direction, and as soon as we think they look in our direction, we wave. But they always look away too fast to wave back. The other day we had some furniture delivered, and the wife was standing in her driving way staring at the delivery truck, clearly trying to get a peek at what we ordered. So Mr. Sophy and I waved and waved at her while she stared right at us, and .... nada. I think we may be invisible, or she is blind.
Speaking of furniture delivery and neighbors, we did finally meet a neighbor - the nice young woman who sold us our furniture lives around the corner. Did we meet her whilst watering our plants or getting the mail? Nope. She saw our address for the delivery and said, "Oh, wow, we are neighbors!" So we finally met a neighbor, one we technically had to pay to meet!
So what about the rest of you? Any funny stories to share about living in a new house? Would love to hear from you!
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Below you'll find some recent comedy offerings from a variety of WDC members. Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.
Some newbies:
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#1998726 by Not Available. |
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And a few more:
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (June 11, 2014)" about moving:
From Rhyssa 
Thank you for highlighting my poem.
I know about moving. I've lived in about twenty-six different houses in my life. We moved into the latest house in August 2009--we're still unpacking. Good luck.
Wow, that is a lot of moving!! We still have boxes, but it's only been a month. Check with me in 5 years and we'll see how we are doing, lol!
      
From Paul D 
I wanted to make a comment on riding a comedy idea into the ground. Just over a year ago, I wrote a story about fleas. I never expected to write more than one story. Seven stories later, I wonder, how did that happen? | | | Invalid Item
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#1933100 by Not Available. |
That's the thing with fleas - there is always more than just one of the little buggers!
From LJPC - the tortoise
Hi Sophy! I've loved every single one of your newsletters, including all the house ones. I love them because I can feel you're being honest - but with a sense of humor - and there's nothing as appealing as honesty. I know just what you mean by the "MISC" boxes of all the stuff that won't fit anywhere else. Unpacking those things is just weird! Plus, I often use cheap bubble pack - clothing! So my wardrobe ends up spread through 20 different boxes. Unpacking is an adventure! Congrats on getting moved in to your new house!! 
~ Laura
You are too kind, thank you so much. Love the clothing idea as bubble wrap - I did that with towels, and we are still looking for a few of them!
From Kanish ~ we got this!
Oh so that deciding upon which stuff to keep and then "fail to feel for it by the end of the packing stuff" is for all the movers, eh! So relieved! I enjoyed this chaos so much may be it was because someone else was packing!
Yes, it is always more amusing when happening to someone else, lol! 
From billwilcox
There's nothing funny about moving.
You are right, as always, Billy!
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
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