 Drama: September 09, 2015 Issue [#7200] |
  Drama
This week: Tears That Don't Trickle Edited by: Cinn  
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The drama genre utilizes a wide array of emotions. Fury, resentment, elation, hope, irritation, and many more may appear in various contexts, and they can all be dramatic. However, the first emotion that comes to mind when I think of drama is sadness, devastation, and hopelessness. In other words, I think of tears.
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Describing the act of crying is something with which I struggle from time to time. Why? Because everything that comes to mind is cliche. I write and rewrite and revise until even the word "tears" looks cliched.
I know that I have written descriptions of someone crying that are riddled with boring phrases, and I'm sure most of you have as well. It is difficult not to use the obvious. Tears look the way they look, feel the way they feel, and taste the way they taste no matter what circumstance brought them about. What can be done to make the details interesting? After giving it much thought, I think that these practices might help:
The Verbs
When thinking up crying cliches, I discovered that the verbs are often the culprits. Tears: stream, trickle, run, pour, flow, roll, spill, spring, and slip. Eyes: well and water and fill. All of these verbs are used when writing about water or liquid, which makes sense, but surely these are not the only options. Instead of focusing on the tears and eyes, try describing something else (and no, I do not mean 'mascara coursing down cheeks').
His face collapsed under the weight of his tears.
She looked at me through clumped and beaded lashes.
A tear plunged from those high cheekbones.
These are not stellar examples of well-written drama. In fact, the first is very melodramatic. However, I think that they serve as examples for how to describe tears without offering the same old water-related phrasing. The verbs are unique, and the adjectives are applied to other objects rather than the tears themselves (no oceanic descriptors-- salty, warm, etc).
The Reason
Why is the character crying? This can lead you to some very original descriptions. If the person doesn't want to cry, perhaps their eyelids attempt to strangle the tears. If the onset is slow, maybe the tears huddle before exploring her cheek. Have you heard these before? If you have, I doubt that you have heard them as many times as, "he tried to hold it back, but the dam broke and the tears flowed" or "tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes" or "tears streamed" or "tears spilled down his cheeks". If eyelids strangling and tears exploring are too tame for you, elaborate. The creative potential is limitless. Brace yourselves for a ridiculous example:
Is the person heartbroken? Splinters from cupid's arrow prickled his eyes. Now, cupid's splintered arrow is an exaggerated idea and might be better suited for something extremely figurative (like poetry), but you can see how the situation led to the details. A symbol of love broke, creating splinters which sting and burn and, if lodged in the eyes, would certainly make someone cry. The sensations are there, even if the example is over-the-top, and no one could call it a boring cliche.  Also note that the verbs in this example and the tamer versions above have nothing to do with water: huddle, explore, prickle, strangle.
I write mostly poetry, and little is more painful to me than a cliche-ridden poem. Stories may be more forgiving, but it still cannot hurt to be original. When revising, keep an eye out for those water-related verbs and find substitutes for them. Try to think of a metaphor that might suffice. If all else fails, remember that simplicity can hold more power than boring words. Instead of writing, "Tears trickled from his eyes, pouring over his cheeks to drip from his chin," you might be better served by saying, "He cried." |
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What cliches drive you nuts every time you see them? What phrases are used to often in drama to describe a fight or confession or loss? Do you have any suggestions for what might work better? |
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