 Horror/Scary: December 14, 2005 Issue [#767] |
  Horror/Scary
This week: Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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You crouch behind the chair as an enormous man dressed all in red enters the room. The shadows of dancing firelight play across his grotesque features. His hair grows coarse and matted, melting from white to an ugly brown that spills down over the creamy whiteness of his cheeks. The eyes shrink like two polished pieces of jet. The mouth becomes a maw through which crooked yellow teeth protrude. “Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas,” it says with a cracked and grinding voice.
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As Christmas draws near, I feel deeply troubled by the thought of a man in a red suit sneaking cleverly down an impossible chimney flue like an insidious twisting serpent and breaking into my house. Personally, I don’t know the man, but every year he takes all the credit for the expensive gifts I worked so hard to buy for my family. And if that were not enough, he enters my house without permission, eats from my fridge, and goes through everything I bought.
The history of this Santa fella is sketchy at best—he rallies an enormous propaganda machine that even surpasses the birth of Christ, Our Savior. In that alone, I find him offensive to the actual reason for the season. Yes, the three wise men did bear gifts, but I don’t recall a one of them ever being called Santa Claus.
It is my belief that this pot-bellied old geezer, has planned from the very beginning to shadow the birth of Our Lord because he is evil incarnate. He lives in a secluded part of the world where there are no laws and has set himself up as King. He harbors a workforce of little people that are brutally taken advantage of—a sweatshop of youngsters that work their poor little fingers to the bone and must obey his every command. They cannot escape—where would they go? One night of exposure to the terrible weather conditions in the area would kill just about anyone. This leads me to wonder how he builds up this slave camp. Where do these pitiful unfortunates come from?
I believe they are shanghaied. A ghastly plot perpetrated by the one and only Saint Nick. He sneaks in—kidnaps your children—and then hightails it back to the North Pole. Kids all over the world must have fallen prey to the trusting charm of this old man bearing gifts in a bottomless sack. It is my belief, that we as concerned parents, should storm the North Pole, much as the villagers stormed Baron Von Frankenstein’s castle with blazing torches and pitchforks—route him out where he lives and make him pay for his heinous crimes.
So parents beware—build up your fires and bolt your windows and doors—for a stranger creeps beneath your roof on the most sacred night of the year.
I have set a number of traps, and will keep a vigilant watch throughout the night. If he shows his hairy face around here I will blast him to kingdom come.
Until next time,
Merry Christmas to you all, and may God keep you safe from harm,
billwilcox
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Unseasonable Picks
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Holly Jahangiri 
Submitted Comment:
W.D., you scare me, sometimes. But keep writing! And tell your inner critic to shut up. While you worry how others will perceive you, Stephen King and Clive Barker are getting rich. I think part of the appeal is that little voice in the back of the reader's mind that says, "Oh, thank God - someone else thinks about these things, too! It's not my mind that's twisted - it's the cosmic subconscious!" Well, at least that's how I felt after reading King's It. I'd always thought I was the odd one out, finding clowns repulsive, evil, and scary. Come to find out, that's a fairly common theme!Good newsletter, as always.
maylee
Submitted Comment:
After reading your stories W.D. I'd sure as heck would hate being reality stuck in some of them. <Geesh.> That my friend, is a compliment to your imagination and the ability to write it all down.Years ago, my youngest brother saw Stephen King speak at the University of Maine. According to Mr. King, the stories that he concocts are based on his real life fears which he writes about. My brother said that Mr. King claims he has a lot of fears. After reading some of his stuff, I kind of wonder that he ever comes out of his house. However, Mr. King has definitely taken his fears and turned them into amazing stories.So have you W.D.!
Mavis Moog
Submitted Comment:
How do you do it? Find so many great picks, I mean. I will have fun reading them all, thanks.
schipperke
Submitted Comment:
I was wondering the same thing about the writer Thomas Harris. He invented the evil Dr. Lector of Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal fame. How did he come up with such a character? Is Mr. Harris evil himself?As far as your writing Bill, there is always an element of humor in it so I don't think people will think you are a menace to society. Unless you are holding back on us?
daycare
Submitted Comment:
Good job W.D. Your mind scares me all the time. I still consider you a friend. Keep writing and I'll keep reading! Wendie
zwisis
Submitted Comment:
Hi BillI have to agree with you, the human mind is a pretty awesome source of inspiration for the horror genre writer... and one does indeed wonder how far it could go? I guess the answer would have to be limitless, which is okay as long as the stories we tell do not serve as an inspiration to other minds more interested in reality than fantasy.
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