 Comedy: August 02, 2017 Issue [#8422] |
  Comedy
This week: It Does Not Compute ! Edited by: Kate - Writing & Reading  
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Greetings, I'm honored to be your guest host for this week's WDC Comedy Newsletter.
It takes seven muscles to smile and twenty-seven to frown,
and laughter is an aerobic exercise;
by extension, then, comedy is therapeutic
- both for the writer and the reader/listener
~ Me
If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters,
I wouldn't show up.
~ Dr. Seuss
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| ASIN: B000FC0SIM |
Product Type: Kindle Store
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Amazon's Price: $ 12.99
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I’m not a funny person, I’m told. I often miss a punch line; but I have a knack for making people laugh when I open my mouth, albeit often at my expense So, I've learned over decades to keep my eyes and ears open, my mouth shut, and my pencil ever sharpened 
As a seasoned eavesdropper, I catch bits and pieces of conversations, verbal and tactile, and weave stories and verse real and imagined, sometimes hilarious. And some of the most comical are those which relate to computers. One doesn't need a lot of technical expertise to operate a computer, they are so 'simple' a kid can compute. Just watch, a child simply pick up a joystick or tap a few keys and navigates through a game without aid of a manual. So why can't adults do likewise? Why do we read the manual, follow the schematic and, when we still can't get past the start-up screen or, worse yet, in a fit of frustrated angst, slam a bunch of keys and evoke the 'blue screen of death,' give up and call 'customer service.' The toll free number, after several mechanical prompts in at least two languages, queues us for a human technician.
"Good evening, I'm Rick, how can I help you?
"I just got a brand new laptop and it doesn't work."
"What’s your operating system?”
“High Speed DSL”
“Your operating system, what do you see on your computer when you start up?”
“A sunflower”
“Okay, to help you, I need you to open ‘my computer.’”
“I don’t care about your computer, I called you to get my computer running right.”
“I’m trying to do that, and I need you to open ‘my computer’ so you can tell me your operating system”
“I told you it’s high-speed DSL, weren’t you listening?”
“Ma’am, I need you to right click on ‘start’ please.”
“I don’t see a start button on the keyboard, or on the screen, I’ve pressed them all and just managed to blur the sunflower on the monitor.”
“Ma’am, please look at the status bar at the bottom of your screen, you’ll see an icon and the word ‘start’
“Under the sunflower?”
“Yes, under the sunflower; do you see it?”
“Yes, I do, what a dumb place for it”
“Now right-click on the word ‘start’.”
*****
A computer is obsolete from the moment it is manufactured, as faster, smarter computers are constantly being developed. If mortal humanity had a similar parallel, I can only imagine how we would look today ~ hmm, another adventure comedic
I can no longer even imagine anyone who hasn't had some quarrel or other with a keyboard, laptop, tablet, etc., etc., where you've come up on the short end. Perhaps your favorite 'handle' was co-opted; or the story nearly ready for submission was saved, you're sure, maybe perhaps, but where? Or, you've diligently trouble-shot your missing shortcut via the manual with such lack of success that you begin to question whether you are reading the section in your own language? Or, maybe you've been on the giving end of some advice or counsel and managed with Herculean effort not to either laugh at or strangle the querant who just 'didn't get it'.
For sanity's sake, find - and, fellow wordsmith, share - the humor of it! And, as an added bonus, know you are contributing to the health and well-being of your readers - eliciting some aerobic exercise  
Write On!
Kate
Kate - Writing & Reading
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I invite you to spend a little of your time with some of the writers in our Community and partake of their comedic variety 'show.' I'm sure they will be pleased to hear whether or not you 'get it' and also share your 'funny' story or verse
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#2118120 by Not Available. |
| | | The Computer (18+)
Third Place Winner: Weekly Metered Poetry Contest Jan 9, 2017 - Limerick
#2082118 by Dee  |
| | | Invalid Item
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#1710074 by Not Available. |
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I hope you've enjoyed this exploration of comedy and found something to tickle or slam your funnybone. As a guest, I don't have an ask and answer, so I invite you to take just fifteen minutes of a day, look about you, and envision a comedic exchange real or imagined. Now, write it down so you can laugh again, and share the mirth. Pass along the the smile; remember, only seven muscles as opposed to more than twenty, and it's a fit contagion.
And you'll have fun writing it!
Write On !
Kate - Writing & Reading
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