 Comedy: March 21, 2018 Issue [#8808] |
  Comedy
This week: We Are Not Alone! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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J’ai, A.I.? It leads to a phenomenon ... The ghost in the machine |
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Hello folks! Welcome to another edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Have you had that feeling that you’re not alone? Yes, you may be in your car or house and nobody else is present with you, yet you feel like eyes and ears are on you. Time was when we felt safe in our homes, behind closed doors. Nowadays, we speak -- okay, well, we talk to ourselves; which I’ve heard is perfectly fine so long as you don’t answer back. But I found out there is something else that hears all.
We are surrounded by fantastic technology. We speak a command and Alexa complies with our requests. We also have much more computer technology built into the new cars that are far more advanced than automobiles a few years older. Take Ruby for instance, she’s thirteen years old. When I got her, I thought it was amazing what she was capable of. She’s quite the fossil when compared to the newer models. But you know something? I like it that way. I like to know my car’s not going to “tell on me.” 
This brings me to the ghost in the machine syndrome. One lovely witchy afternoon up in New England, I was multi-tasking. That usually involves working online, listening to music, and doing prep work for dinner at intervals throughout the day. WebLock was working in the yard and I was, at least I thought I was, alone in the house. I spoke a few of my thoughts out loud to force them into my brain so I wouldn’t forget next time I went into the kitchen to stir the stock pot. I do this sort of thing as a reinforcement of what needs to be done once I enter the kitchen, because everyone knows there is a bazaar threshold phenomenon that happens when you go to a room for a specific purpose, but once you step through the doorway of that room you have forgotten why you stepped into it to begin with. Yes, it’s a very scientifically proven phenomenon. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  I forget the exact words I said, but they usually start off with “okay.” You know, like: “Okay, WebWitch, don’t forget to get the herbs from the porch garden outside the kitchen door.” Except this time I got a voice back at me!
I looked around the room to see if someone was standing on the other side of the screen speaking to me. Nobody was there. I was a bit perplexed, but managed to remember to pick some herbs. Settling back in with my laptop, I said, “Okay, going good.” A voice spoke back at me and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
Now I’m beyond a little freaked-out. I wave outside to WebLock when he looks up, and beckon him into the house.
“What’s wrong WebWitch, you look a little pale?”
“WebLock, you’re not going to believe this, but this house is haunted!” Okay, I know what you’re thinking, I’m a witch and should live in a haunted house.
“What do you mean, haunted? I mean other than it’s an early 1800s home and probably had its share of souls passing through”
“The house is talking back to me! I was talking to myself -- and do not even think of saying anything about that, WL, and it spoke saying it didn’t understand me.”
“Well, leaving aside the fact that you talk to yourself, what exactly did you say? Perhaps I will hear it talk too.” 
“I was trying to remember to grab some herbs from the porch garden, so I told myself to get herbs from the garden.”
Nothing. Silence.
“Webbie, I’m gonna go finish the yard work. If your ghost comes back, come and get me.”
“Okay, WebLock. If I hear her voice again ... “
(Ghost) “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
“WW, I heard the voice too! It sounds like its coming from the sofa!”
We both went over to where my laptop sat, and behind the monitor screen lay my phone with little colored dots moving and awaiting further instruction.
“It’s the phone, WL! My phone is listening to me. How? I don’t understand?”
This led me to call my son and ask him what possessed my phone to become possessed. He laughed and told me I must have updated a certain App that is voice activated to wake-up if you say a certain word. He said most often the word used is “okay.”
Okay then -- I’m happy that creepy thing got solved!
You know something, folks? I’m quite happy that I don’t have a smart-Ruby. If my car talked back to me while I was driving, all hell would break loose out there. At least my broom knows how to shut up when I’m streaking through the night skies. 
It’s an “Okay” wrap for this Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Dragon is hiding 
Super cute newsletter, and happy birthday! 
In regards to your advertising “lament,” here’s a fun fact: research suggests, kids 12 and under cannot actually distinguish TV content from advertising content.  So that’ll explain why you’ve got so many commercials aimed at tweens. As for brand loyalty, that’s a part of it. Another part is the malleability of their audiences’ brains. At 50, you’re not gonna be as easily influenced as if you were 20, and therefore you’re less likely to buy whatever newfangled product they’ve got out there! Waste of time and money on their part, and they’re in it to make money, not waste it!
I knew that. We older folks aren't easily influenced and pretty set in our ways. Thank you for your feedback, Dragon.
Monty 
Happy Birthday Kid (((HUGS)))
Thank you, thank you, sweet man!!! 
Quick-Quill 
You always make me laugh, mostly because the same things happen to me, yes I'm over 60 and get those weird adverts. My hubby travels. I see him for a few days or hours every 3-6 weeks. He called to tell me he sent me a Valentine's gift. Did I get it? NO, today is 2/21 and I got an email yesterday I was getting CHOCOLATE (he wouldn't tell me what it was) today. It snowed last night in Portland, OR so we'll see if I in fact get a delivery today.
I hope the chocolates finally got to you. Don't you just hate waiting for a gift that you have no idea what it will be and it gets to you a week later? I think I like surprises coming a day earlier except the part about getting it with an unsigned card. That was quite disturbing and drove me to distraction until I found out who the culprit was.
papadoc1
Well, well, well! Webbie! Here it is, your SPECIAL DAY!! I think it is AWESOME just to know that we have done ALL THAT YOU'VE WANTED TO DO today, and MORE! Yes, yes - that dark chocolate thing sets you aside as being one EXOTIC WITCH, no less! Little did I know... ....but naturally, all one must do is get used to your multiple quirks and then it's EASY STREET from then on!! Those strawberries are AMAZING! When you gave one to try, I thought it was not unlike a chocolate covered baseball! Woo HOO! Spent 10 minutes consuming it - YUM-OH! I should take the time to congratulate your kin for such kindly acts! After all...it IS your birthday, yes?
I am so glad you LOVED your gift I sent you this year!! SO THOUGHTFUL, aren't I?!?! (wink wink) I always know EXACTLY what to do, come the exact moment in this thing we call life!!
Happy Beautiful Birthday, mein sweetcakes!! And many more!! 
Dr. J
Thank you so much!!! It was a wonderful birthday gift and much appreciated.  
Elfin Dragon-finally published
give it up to forgetful brothers and kind sister-in-laws! LOL It sounds like something I might do. Of course I have trouble remembering my own B-Day when it comes up. Oh I remember it's in October but when the day comes, I always forget. LoL
I'm just going to wish you a happy birthday in advance because October is a long ways away. Actually I have two kids' birthdays to remember in October -- 14 & 29. Maybe one of those is your birthday? 
Thank you for your feedback, folks. We editors really appreciate it!
see you next month.
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