 Comedy: April 04, 2018 Issue [#8833] |
  Comedy
This week: Spring Is Here Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
-Mark Twain |
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Ah, spring...
(My apologies to those readers living south of the Equator... maybe save this and read it in October. Or not.)
Every year, I look forward to the Vernal Equinox. Every year, I dislike winter more and more, and everything gets put on hold just waiting for spring. But my relief this year was postponed, as Virginia welcomed spring by dumping multiple inches of snow over everything.
Now, this snow was short-lived, both while it was falling and while it was melting, but it was enough to annoy me. After all, isn't it bad enough that April Fool's Day is right around the corner when spring finally gets here, and I know I'm going to have to hide from everything that day lest someone decide it's a good idea to play a prank on me? (Hint: it is not.) Isn't it bad enough that I'm still hung over from St. Patrick's Day?
No, of course not. It's gotta dump SNOW on me also.
The worst thing about it, though? It used to be that the weather was a safe topic of conversation. There's, let's see, the weather, and... well, that's about it. Everything else was a quagmire of potential offense. But not anymore. Oh, everything else is still said quagmire, but now, so is discussion of the weather because if you dare to talk about how unusual it is to get snow in spring in Virginia (it's not *that* unusual, but it doesn't happen every year, either), someone, somehow, is going to bring up climate change.
And that's a quagmire.
So now there's another reason to not leave the house - not only will it snow on me, but I can't talk about it, because some idiot is going to start a political argument (and sometimes that idiot is me).
It feels like February has lasted another month. At least. And we all know by now how I feel about February.
One bright spot in all this - it did NOT snow here on Monday... but it did snow in New York City, and I'd just escaped from that place on Sunday. So I guess I can take some comfort in knowing that others had it worse than I did. After all, isn't that what life is all about? |
Some funnies:
| | | Schmoo [E] #1912543
My mistake: through a door marked, "For Authorized Personnel Only."
by Don Two  |
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