 Comedy: February 22, 2006 Issue [#899] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: The Milkman  
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3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
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7. Removal instructions
When writing your next comedy story, poem, essay or eulogy, keep in mind these quotes that I found in the "Toastmaster's Treasure Chest"...
A man shows his character by what he laughs at --- German Proverb
I think Comedy writing is also a good indicator of what kind of person you are. So please take into consideration who it is you are laughing at.
Laughter: The sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot --- Josh Billings
You know he is right and the one spot to have it shown is right here in the Writing.Com Comedy Newsletter.
We like to hear people laugh, but not when we're chasing our hat down the street --- Author not listed
So write about chasing your Stories.Com baseball hat down the street and hopefully your reviewer won't say they laughed at you.
A pun is the lowest form of humor ~~~ when you don't think of it first --- Oscar Levant
My advice to beating your friends to the punnies, especially on Scroll... learn to type.
Lastly, and this tidbit will need no motherly advice from me...
No young man ever expects to grow up and be as dumb as his father --- Author not listed.
If you think you have what it takes to write humor, then you will want to check out this comedy inspired group held by my good friend melodyofmusic. I might even divulge a couple of my writing tips...
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Donating...
In the last couple of months I've been to the doctor's office so many times that I'm beginning to think that someone donated my body to science. I'm a breeding ground for an infection on my right leg just above where I got kicked by a old nag. Nope not my ex-wife either, an actual horse. I'm on antibiotics for the infection and Lotriman for the itchy skin.
There is a bacteria taking up residence in my left ear, and "hear" I thought that I had another one of my ear infections. The cure for this ailment is rather tricky, if I follow the doctors orders I'll be putting these drops in my affected eye or my right ear. Either the doctor wants me to watch what I hear or this bacteria is so far inside of my head that the only way to treat it is by putting the solution in the wrong ear and hope it drains over to the infected ear.
I've been poked and prodded (literally) by a nurse practitioner with thick fingers and latex gloves. I've had things stuck under my tongue and cuffs wrapped around my arms. Lights have been flashed in my eyes, and I've been asked to follow a finger or two with only my eyes. There was even a slew of questions that I had to answer and some of these questions were worse than bending over and grabbing my socks.
I was able to say "No" to questions like do I do anything that the Surgeon General would deem unhealthy and Writing.Com would classify as Non-E Rated. Believe it or not I was asked if I have nightmares.
A nightmare of mine is turning on a computer and not being able to log onto Writing.Com and submitting a Comedy Newsletter Editorial. (Which is no longer a nightmare since it happened to me last month and for my loyal reader...I'm sorry for the inconvience that caused).
Speaking of donating my body to science, is that also done by checking a box on the back of your driver's license? I know in Pennsylvania there is a place to check if you want to be an organ donor, which I had to check "No" for two reasons. 1) I never had an organ worth donating and 2) I couldn't play one even if I owned one. I spent all of my music lesson money on... well would you believe paper? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Did the doctor really find a cure?
Orange is
My latest experience weren't this bad.
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Here is an interesting cure.
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I guess the waiting room at the VA Hospital is kind of mellow compared to this one.
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My symptoms were just as bad.
Indigo is
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Talk about your split personalities.
Violet is
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I'd rther stay sick. |
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