"Show, Don't Tell".... huh?
A large part of writing is emotion. Without it, there is only a narrative or article. A script without actors, so to speak. Stories just don't work without it.
One of the most common review comments I see on the public review page is, "Show me how your character feels. Don't tell me." There are many variations of this statement, of course, but they all mean the same thing - instead of telling the reader how the character is feeling, show the reader so they can make their own interpretation. However, those words alone don't show anything at all. Some reviewers tell people to show, but don't demonstrate how, making them just as guilty of telling rather than showing what they mean.
In this newsletter, I am going to demonstrate how to show, instead of tell, how a character is feeling. I will give you a few examples, and then give you a little challenge within the "Ask & Answer" Section.
Anger
Telling: Bob storms out of the room in anger.
Showing: Bob storms out of the room with his fists clenched, red creeping up his neck all the way to his cheeks, and his eyes narrowed.
There is no denying, in either sentence, how Bob is feeling. The second sentence, however, shows the reactions to the emotion, rather than stating the emotion itself.
Happiness
Telling: Sally skipped down the street happily.
Showing: Sally skipped down the street with her arms waving easily at her sides, a brightness in her features, and a lighthearted whistle on her lips.
In this one, I exaggerated a little, perhaps showing a little too much description, but I did want another example. I will only torture you with one more.
Sadness
Telling: Sandra shook her head sadly as she looked at the ruined present.
Showing: Sandra shook her head, a small pout touching her lips and moisture rising into her eyes as she looked at the ruined present.
Admittedly, this is not a lot. The sentences are a little longer, yes, but the substance is much more than a greater length for your written words. Giving the reader something they can see in their mind is a powerful approach, and will allow the reader to more easily be drawn in and connect with the story. Just remember that it is also possible to go too far and add too much description. Just the right touch should get you what you need.
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Noticing Newbies: November 21, 2018 Issue [#9241]
