 Horror/Scary: January 23, 2019 Issue [#9348] |
This week: UNHAPPY ENDINGS Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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Quotes of happiness just before you die . . . .
“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” |
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Unhappy Endings
Okay, I am going to tell you a story now about how people, like the worst people you know, found happiness. But, it is not a happy story, okay? I mean, why do people think life should always be happy? You know, because when I was a little boy my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this, "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be o-ver." But for you my friends, this story is just beginning.
I was born with my heart on the outside of my body. A truly rare case but not the first recorded in history. There was another man, we shall call him, Test Subject A, who wore his heart on his sleeve. Poor sap.
Now I don't want you feeling all sorry for me; don't send me gifts like cheese, bottle openers, or double-A batteries. Just remember this old German poem . . . .
[spoken in German] I have a black pit that rests inside of me,
that fuels my all consuming sense of nothingness.
As if monotony and drudgery were the only compass points,
on my dark walk through life.
"Sorry, I don't speak, or understand German."
The thing is how far will you go to write an unhappy ending? How many main characters will you kill off? How many plot twists will you create? Unhappy endings are fun, full of surprises, but beware because someone (or thing) could be writing your unhappy ending right now. So every now and then smile. It won't kill you.
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Horror Stories, the Unhappy Ending
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DEAD LETTERS
Trish  says:
I loved your Christmas story. Santa making those cows fly would almost make me a believer too as long as I hadn't had too much brandy.
Paul  says:
Very cute, I like it. I think I met that guy when I lived in Oklahoma. I never liked brandy though, single malt scotch straight up or with a little soda was my thing, but I got a bit heavy with it and quit almost 50 years ago. I do a couple beers or a shot or two a year now. I tend to be rather addictive. A little weed now is my thing.
I quit believing in Santa at 8 or so when I figured out my parents had bought all the presents marked “Santa and then believing in anything that claimed to be a deity at about 21 when I really started to understand how the universe works. The real calculations (secular ones) put Christ’s birthday somewhere in june, December was a pagan holiday taken over because it got more people in.
Thank you for the story and for the reviews you do, I appreciate all of them. Have a happy holiday season and stay safe, don’t do anything you can’t survive.
Paul🐸
Dominique says:
hahaa I loved the newsletter! I understand it's a horror newsletter but I was smiling and laughing throughout the whole story.
Jenstrying says:
Lol! Fun!
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