This week: Writing About Our Mothers Edited by: SophyBells More Newsletters By This Editor
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Hi, I'm SophyBells ~ your editor for this edition of the Spiritual Newsletter.
The Rev. Scotty McLennan, author of the book Finding Your Religion, compares humanity's innate need for spiritual searching to climbing a mountain. In his view, we are all endeavoring to climb the same figurative mountain in our search for the divine, we just may take different ways to get there. In other words, there is one "God," but many paths. I honor whatever path or paths you have chosen to climb that mountain in your quest for the Sacred. |
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My mother Phyllis was born in May - May 11 to be precise - which fell on or near Mother's Day each year. My mother died on the last day of May. So May brings many memories of my mom - which I decided to harness for my spiritual writing this month, as she was responsible for much of how I began and lived my spiritual journey. And she was also a writer who inspired me to write. I invite you to consider doing the same during the month of May.
There is one thing we all have in common - we all have or had mothers who gave birth to us. Some of us knew them for most of our lives; some lost their mothers early in their life and hardly knew them; some never knew their birth mothers at all, and were raised by someone else; some wish they'd never known their mothers. And the rest fall somewhere in between all of the above.
Some mothers are excellent mothers, as if mothering comes naturally to them. Some mothers do the best they can, though mothering does not come naturally to them and sometimes they make mistakes - still, love is at their core. Some mothers are terrible mothers and leave us with scars and deep hurts that have yet to heal. And the rest fall somewhere in between all of the above.
Mother's Day, which celebrated later this month in the US, brings up all kinds of feelings and memories for people. For some it's a day of joy spent thanking our mothers; for others it's a day of sadness missing mothers no longer with us; and for some it's complicated and messy for lots of reasons, some mentioned above.
Relationships with our mothers can be complicated, even with the "good" moms. I was lucky enough to have had a great mom - she died much too soon for my wishes, but I was blessed with her loving me for almost 52 years of my life. Even though I had an amazing mom, our relationship was filled with its own ups and downs, struggles and blessings, and everything in between. As it was with her mother, and her mother's mother, and all mothers and children.
Soon after she died my sister and I went through her things in preparation for selling our family home, and found letters and journals she kept, as well as photos of her when she was young that we'd never seen. We were also blessed with the gift of her poetry throughout our lives, which is a lovely keepsake she left behind.
My work on our family tree has helped me get a clearer picture of my mother in terms of her family of origin and things she experienced growing up that she didn't share with us - or if she did, it was not in much detail. I have also discovered some awesome things about our family line that I wish I could share with her. She'd be so pleased, and not at all surprised, I imagine, by some of our forbears.
Ten years before my mother died, I was able to deal with the grief of losing my father over time. Because we had time - about six months from his diagnosis to his death. I wrote poems - lots of poems. In fact, I joined WDC just before he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and getting back to my writing helped me get through it. But Mom died without much warning. One day I got the call to come to California, and in less than a week she was gone. And now these many years later I am shocked to discover I have not written much about her since she died. And so this month, during some time off, I am going to remedy that - and do some writing about Mom. It's long past due.
It won't be easy - I loved her dearly and still miss her fiercely - but May was her month, and is the perfect time to do so. I encourage you to do the same, and share your writings with me if you are successful. Even if your relationship was not easy, maybe because it wasn't easy - it's great fodder for writing, and can be spiritually and emotionally healing as well.
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