This week: The Love of a Crowd Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Library Class!  
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| To say it plainly -- three of my close friends are talking of their in-laws in a tone that says in-laws should be outlawed. (Sorry, but the bad pun really does fit the situation here!) Hence the newsletter -- to check whom the 'happily ever after' brings in. |
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Dear Reader,
I got a call from a friend this morning about borrowing my 'cloak' for her daughter to wear for Halloween. She started the conversation with, "I'm free after six months, so I can think of things." Her mother-in-law and father-in-law had come to stay ... and they like her cooking so they stayed, and stayed ... and she cooked three meals a day for them, and did all their chores, and only grumbled a few times because she loves her husband and doesn't want to hurt him and she loves her kids and wants to keep the peace in the house for their sake.
Another friend is gleefully talking about meeting up for lunch tomorrow. Her in-laws (mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law) had been with her for three months, again, wanting meals cooked and chores done for them. They left a few days ago. "Freedom!" is her cry. I can understand. A month ago, a mutual friend of ours had an event at her work-place, and had invited the two of us. I went to pick her up. Since traffic is unpredictable in our city, I told her I'd be early and wait at her house. "Don't come in," she pleaded. "I don't know who'll be walking around in what state of dress or otherwise, these people don't know how to behave." So I waited outside, in the parking lot. Since I had been forewarned, I'd carried some writing along to do.
Now, this friend has married her teenage-sweetheart. They met when they were both sixteen years old, married at twenty-one, and have been married for more than twenty years now. They're very happy together ... the only hiccups are the times when the outlaws arrive to stay. She puts up with it because she loves her husband. (They have no children.)
A third friend, much younger than I am, got married a couple of years ago. She has known the guy literally all her life. The two sets of parents are close friends, and her future-husband, then aged two years, had come to visit in hospital soon after she was born.
One would think that if you've known someone twenty-five years before you choose to marry their son, you'd have understood them, right? Wrong. As soon as they became in-laws, they changed. The couple lives with the guy's parents (as is usual here in India), and she says that they are curious every time a package arrives from Amazon for her -- what is she wasting money on now? -- and stuff like that. "I have a job, it's my money, what do they care what I spend on?" she once vented to me.
But the craziest thing was after she got pregnant, and developed a bigger appetite. Those in-laws actually commented that she was being greedy and eating more than her fair share! She's had the baby and is at her parents' place now ('Peace!!' she says), and is thinking of getting an independent house for herself, husband and daughter when they can afford it. "Don't want my kid growing up around those people."
The common thread in these three stories seem to me to be that it's free and peaceful when 'those people' go away. 'Those people' are the ones who gave birth to the man you love, and have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. So you definitely want to be around him. but want to be free of those who gave birth to him.
And yet, you don't. because that would hurt him. So you tolerate 'those people' for the sake of your love for him. Does that, indirectly, mean you love them, too? Or that they are somehow included in the package?
I don't have answers. I just wanted to share three stories that are currently going on around me, all confused, all echoing each other ... how many people does 'we' include?
Thanks for listening!
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Thank you for the responses to "The Love of a Teacher"
Monty  Love shown through caring can make a big difference as you point out in your News Letter.
Kalai  Teachers play a great role in everyone's life. Whatever we are now reflects the impact a teacher has left on a young child's mind.
Rafik  In simple language, the teacher has told a story centuries ago about the nature of the teacher. I have read many times ... he obeyed the letter of the Lord, but asked him not to listen to the complaints of other classes, students, teachers, guardians and neighbors. The new teacher .... told the old master that they found their love and they would do well in their studies. |
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Romance/Love: October 23, 2019 Issue [#9817]
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