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Romance/Love: November 20, 2019 Issue [#9880]




 This week: The many layers of love
  Edited by: Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Love can be complicated, but it doesn't have to be. Some cultures, such as the Ancient Greeks simplified it by actually creating names for each type of love. This newsletter discusses love defined by the Greeks.


Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor

We would all agree that not all love is the same. After all, the love we have for our family and children definitely differs from the love we have for a romantic interest. Yet, most of us only have one word for it. The Ancient Greeks actually simplified things by giving the emotion various titles, categorized by type.


*Heart* Eros


Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility and represents erotic desire. The ancient Greeks considered this emotion to be dangerous and frightening if it evolved into a loss of control, which ultimately results in impulsive acts and broken hearts. In other words, if Eros is not teamed with one of the deeper forms of love, it is a flame that burns bright but extinguishes quickly.


*Heart* Philia

Philia is what we feel for a close friend, who we trust. Aristotle actually described philia as being “dispassionate virtuous love". Aristotle and Plato felt that physical attraction was not a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic which is defined as "being without physical attraction." This love was valued above eros because it was considered a love between equals. There is a strong connection, sometimes developed through overcoming life's obstacles together, and we might seek their comfort at times, but there is no sexual attraction.


*Heart* Storge

Storge is a natural form of affection that flows between parents and their children, and children for their parents. It can also develop in friendship, but unlike philia, storge develops in childhood friendships that continue to adulthood. These friends feel like family, hence there is a deeper loyalty to them.


*Heart* Ludus

Ludus is a playful sort of love most commonly seen in blushing new lovers. It is that euphoric emotion that causes our skin to tingle at the touch of the one we are attracted to or when we feel dizzy from that first kiss.

Oftentimes, in longterm relationships, ludus dissipates and is replaced with comfort. Although, it doesn't have to disappear altogether. Recreating that playful love in a relationship can strengthen the connection.


*Heart* Mania

Mania occurs when there is an imbalance between eros and ludus. It is a jealous obsessive type of love. Those who experience this type of love are the possessive type with low self-esteem. Their entire self-value hinges on how they perceive the other person feels about them. This leads to codependency.


*Heart* Pragma

You can find pragma in married couples who’ve been together for a long time, or in friendships that have endured for decades. It is beyond the physical, it has transcended the casual, and it is a unique harmony that has formed over time. It’s the love between people who’ve learned to make compromises, demonstrating patience and tolerance to make the relationship work.


*Heart* Philautia

Philautia is the love of self. This form of self-love is not narcism. It is a healthy sort of self-love where you are comfortable in your own skin, which in turn makes you more welcoming to loving and being loved by another. As Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”


*Heart* Agape

Agape is what some would call spiritual love. It is love void of expectations, that is felt for that which we intuitively know as the divine truth. It consists of boundless compassion and empathy.



Conclusion


Some say love is complicated, but it doesn't have to be. It is us humans who make it so. I'd argue that actually the journey to learning how to love ourselves enough to be able to value and appreciate the more healthy forms of love is what makes it complicated. Also, It is the disappointment developed through the other person not meeting our expectations that results in pain, not love itself. That is my perception, from my own life experience, anyway. I'm sure there are many with opinions that differ.


Editor's Picks

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