The Last Righteous Misogynist

The Last Righteous Misogynist
By Christian B. Aptist


It grieves me to be the one to type this report. Not in the words, which I craft so finely to explain how the evil has begun its dark spread, but that I am the last. The last man to know his true place. The last one to understand that we, and only we make up ‘Mankind’. I speak to you, of course, about this “Brave New World” which we have entered. A world of equality and fairness. How we teeter on the brink of utter equality of both sexes.
And it makes me sick.
I had felt that this, feminism fad which we had endured as women made their pleas for fairness had long been over, and that, since the 1980’s we would no longer have to hear about such things. That women had realized their place in the world was only in front of stoves, and working in kitchens. Needless to say I experienced a nearly fatal shock when I recently entered a business office, and found a woman, not working as a secretary, but as a real employee! Oh horror upon horrors, even Lovecraft and Poe could not inspire the fear that this has brought upon me. As though such a thing as a business woman could truly exist? But it was to my unrepentant horror that I found them to not only exist, but shockingly in greater numbers than any ‘real’ man could allow!
It was not too long ago that we had an understanding reached. That they were simply the baby factories, and their tasks were to cook clean, and raise our offspring, whilst we in turn made the money, and upheld the family honor. Now they have begun to, at great shock to many a mans heart, work! Well, this was a step too far! Of all the abominations, it was a woman working! Working, I daresay, in a restaurant. When questioned about this, she admitted to being a single woman who held the age of 22 without child!
I was at first ashamed that any set of parents would raise their female child to believe she was equal, but that society would not correct this flawed thinking is an even greater shame. It then came to my attention that there were women outside of homes and shopping centers everywhere. Why they were even being taught to drive a mans motorcar!
Well, I felt that the world had taken a step into replacing our banned child labor forces, and were allowing women to hold jobs that rightfully belonged to children, but I digress on the dishonor of that topic. My understanding of the situation was that women knew they were only allowed to be waitresses and secretaries. It was my understanding that men still held the real jobs. This seemed a fair enough arrangement in my eyes, because it not only replaced the lost child labor forces, but it had kept the foreigners from stealing our jobs as well. A most advantageous arrangement.
But when you give a mouse a cookie, he, or rather in this case, she will want a glass of that delicious milk you have reserved for the MEN.
This of course, was proven by that small ruckus that was raised in the later part of the last century during that whole, feminism scenario. I had honestly thought that men would understand that we were to stand up to our lesser sex by letting them know through our superior knowledge and physical demeanor that we were the only ones capable of holding and employment of significance.
Well, apparently it was something that needed to be said, and no one actually said it! We let them roll in and take our jobs, removing the real people from their deserved place in society. We have now allowed women to take place in not only business, but politics, and dare I say athletics? We all know that no woman would ever be able to beat a professional tennis player, for example. Why, if Mr. Robert Riggs, the tennis play no man could beat were to take on, say Billie Jean King, I think we know how that would turn out.
It is laughable, then that people seem convinced that some woman, I believe that name stated was Mrs. Albright would hold any government position, is simply laughable. It would be as though putting a woman on the Supreme Court, or letting one be an ambassador to the United Nations. As though any woman could hold such a position of responsibility. It would be as disastrous as letting a woman fly a space shuttle.
Yet it seems that my voting to elect a real man for office, Mr. George W. Bush himself has not reaped the benefits that I thought it would. My campaign to remove women from the world of men still remains at a standstill. I say unto you, my brothers, unite against this threat to our world, before they lead us on a path to destruction!
My male roommate of the last ten years understands why women are to only remain in the house, and home, and should never interfere in mans affairs. We are the dominant gender, by divine right. I stand up for all men everywhere, and seek to ensure that the golden age of men returns!