Lost on the Road

Lost on the Road

I think I got lost somewhere in-between life and going on with life. It seems to me that every thing is wrong, or right, dark or light, good or bad, good or evil. I am asking so many questions, but I never get an answer, ever. I am not the guy who just asks why? But I often do, I go deeper than why, what, when, where, how. I try and understand, try and not succeed. Though I think my constant asking questions has given me some truths that people do not know, or are unaware of. It’s like I am stuck on the road of life, where every one is constantly moving forward, I stay behind and ask questions of why this and that, analyzing every detail, every possibility, every out come of actions. I don’t feel the need to move forward, because I always think of every possible reaction to what I am going to do, I will admit that I make mistakes, but I do most of the time know what is going to happen, if I do something I can more than likely tell what some one might say, think, or do. I do this all the time, every where I go, I constantly watch what I say, what I write, and even the why I look at people, or even certain body movements. Basically any thing that would make some one see me or notes me in a different way than before they did not see me. I wonder all the time about every thing, and I have never gotten an answer, ever. I thought for once I did, but as it turned out every one already new what I was saying, it was old news, I thought it was the answer to every thing, or at least an answer to a question some where.

People think differently than I do, some so extreme that I get vary lost in trying to get them and the way they are, the way the think, act, ect. But I still try; I always try to understand, most of the time any way. But others don’t try and understand me, it’s like I am just there, every one else is so busy with there on going lives while I stay back and watch things unfold. There was this one story my friend was telling my other friend on the bus to school one morning, she was saying that she had a really bad day. She was vary upset and went to the park, and sat on a swing when a little boy, about 5 or 6, comes up and sits on the other swing next to her and just starts talking to her. I was the only one who thought about that for even more than a second. That to me seems like it was planed, I don’t know about you, but that is way to timed to say it was nothing, just good timing. There is another thing; it came from that same story. I was telling my other friend about it to see if she could see why I was like “wow”, the only thing she said was that “you can’t make me believe in God”, I had no idea that she did not believe in God, I thought she did. So just to clarify, this girl had a fight with her parents, so she went to the park, a kid came over all happy and cheer full and started to talk to her, she told this story to her friend on the buss on morning and I heard it, so I told my friend to see if she would understand why I thought it was “wow”, and it turns out that she dose not believe in God when I thought she did, and now I am like wow, that all had to happen to get me to tell her that story just so I now know that she dose not believe in God. Every single thing had to happen a certain way in order for that to happen. That to me is planned, that’s not just good timing on all of our parts, no way.