I Can See For Miles

I left Vermont one rainy afternoon in May. I swept all my troubles that Vermont had been in my life and left them with the big pile of trash that remained at the end of the driveway. Oh yes, Vermont is beautiful! There are mountains! It snows there in the winter! A lot. Why would I have any problems with Vermont?

Born and raised in Kentucky and Virginia, moving to Vermont was a culture shock. I was married and had a baby at the time. Unfortunately, I would find out that my perfect family was far from it. My marriage would soon decline in under four years and I would become homeless. Yes, homeless in the wonderful state of Vermont.

When my daughter turned three, I left my cozy home to go out on my own. Well, that's not entirely true. I did leave on my own accord. It was my choice. However, I feared for me and my daughter. I could no longer continue to fight and bicker with my husband. We were no longer in love. I was very depressed and had no outlet. That was, until I was given a computer and went online.

I was spending entirely too much time on the computer. All day and night I would sit in front of the computer. I should have been playing with my daughter but I wasn't. I did the bear minimum. It was pathetic. It was so pathetic that on the day my daughter decided to climb out of her crib. I was so tired I didn't even hear her. She trotted her wet-pampered bottom down the hallway and into the computer room. There she climbed upon a chair that was up against the window and climbed out. Luckily, the neighbor ran a daycare and found her. Then, called the police and Social Servies.

This was a major wake up call. I was a bad mom. Except that isn't what they told me. I was discussing my issues. The decision was made. I wasn't happy, I was depressed and I was not taking care of myself. It was time that I left. So, I did. Social Services had contacted a wonderful agency that dealt with family emergencies. I got into a homeless shelter for children and families within a week. Since the waiting list to get in was a mile long, I consider myself very lucky.

During the days I was married, I hardly spoke to my family. I would get into arguments with my mother and it would be months before I would speak to her again. However, she called the day before I left for the shelter and told me that if I were very unhappy, to go to a lawyer and they would help me out. I found one and filed for divorce. It had been six months since I technically slept with my husband so, I was able to get a divorce in another six months.

So here I was. I didn't have a job. I didn't have a bank account because I had a joint account. My husband's lawyer convinced mine that my debt was entirely too much and he had control of the house and money at this point. I certainly didn't have a degree to fall back on. I was screwed and so was my daughter.

I wasn't going to "go out" like that though. I was determined to make our lives better. I was FREE from him and now, I could do anything I wanted.

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Author's Note:
To be continued... This article is a work in progress. It may take some time to edit and re-read and add. This was a very trying and traumatic time in my life and I feel I need to share it to help others.