Tax Time

Okay, so it's tax time again. Last year I worked roughly six months, and I pretty much broke even. Almost. So when I received my tax papers this year, I became increasingly nervous about filing because I certainly did not want to pay. I always keep my receipts in hope that I can find deductions in order to pay less at the end of the year. Unnecessary parting with money is never fun, or almost never.

As I walked down Boylston St, I was in complete disregard to what the thermometers read. It didn't help that I was wearing a Ron Jeremy tshirt, either. I ignored strange looks from people as I buttoned another button on my long, black winter coat. Sure, it was in the mid sixties that afternoon, but surely the Bostonians would understand if they knew I was visiting from Las Vegas. I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets to keep them warm, and raised my head a bit to see which intersection I had just crossed. As I looked up, I caught the eye of a tall African American male, who was missing quite a bit of teeth and so I will refer to him as the 'toothless man'. He approached me saying:

-Hi! You don't look racist so I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?

I gave myself a moment to think about this. I'm wearing a tshirt with a picture of a man who has a large penis that he uses to poke women for a living, along with a winter coat. I probably didn't look racist, instead I probably looked insane. I smiled:

-Of course. What have you got for me?

The toothless man began reciting his speech. He founded an organization to educate black children on why they shouldn't hate all white people.

(What?)

This was definately going to be worth my time:

-Tell me more.

The man pulled out this folder and said he had to show me this information. Incidently, you need a permit to solicate people in Boston. I read it carefully, and then he went on with his speech. He told me about William Penn and the Quakers.

I told him:

-William Penn! I'm related to William Penn.

The man grinned a toothless grin and yelled over to his friend:

-Jamal! Come here! This girl -What's your name? Jane-she's related to William Penn!

Turning to me, the man wanted to know all about my connection with the founder of Pennsylvania. Relaying the story of my childhood, I explained that I needed a family tree in school one year and that's how I knew.

I had no idea if that was true or not.

The man continued and said he was asking for donations. The money would go towards helping with the kids' education.

I agreed that they do need an education. However, I told him that if he wanted me to hear him out on why he needed my money, he had to hear me out on why I needed my money.

He agreed to listen.

I stood there and gave him the whole story regarding my license, the car accident, car insurance, and moving. I went into great detail about how the only thing I really wanted to do was write and move out of Las Vegas, but that my ocd keeps me tired and by the time I get home from work all I want to do is sleep, and my boring job doesn't pay a lot so therefor I was caught in this awful catch-22.

Had the man not started laughing at the Ron Jeremy tshirt, I probably would've launched into my childhood problems.

After the laughter subsided, I explained that Max (a friend I was staying with) had kindly poured water on my earlier attire, and then stuck me with this awful tshirt in lieu of the wet one. (Why he owns a Ron Jeremy tshirt i'm not sure, but feel free to email him and ask.) Then I told the toothless man that I had met Ron Jeremy, and what a nice guy he was.

Next, the toothless man gave me a run down on slavery and such. To tell you honestly, I'm not sure what this guy was going on about. I was too busy trying to come up with questions to keep this guy talking.

When he had finally finished, I handed him five dollars. I told him that although I needed it, those kids needed it more and he had earned it. I told him to educate those kids.

Then I asked him for a receipt so I could write it off on my taxes.