If only I allowed myself

If only i allowed myself
to love her with sweetness
and hush her in my arms
when fears gathered around.
There was so much to say
and so much to hear
but she would leave after moments of stares.
Helped her cross the violent river
in a boat so firm
when she would quiver
thinking of the past term..
If only she could see my eyes
and explore the love;
she would have forgotten the lies,
all that had piled on her heart.
She was sad but cheering,
meant to live with me;
but hadn't for the monstor
who took her away from the glee.
She granted me the honour
to drape her in my arms
when a night so breezy
we would talk and laugh..
everything dispersed, lyke breath in the air
Her sweet scent;
allured me to the depths,
her lovely talks;
enchanted the spells.
If only i allowed myself...
I was there next to her
wiping tears away from her cheeks
and she would bite her lips
fro mhorrors of meeks
when she'd fallen from the ship
and drowned i nthe swirl
where no escape would have been hopeful
unless she met me
and gained some desire.
Everything left, lyke breath in the air.
She talked about swans,
white a graceful,
aiming to fly across the shore
when even she couldn't
picture the beauty she possessed.
A blind fairy
i'm talking about
[who left me ages before,
leaving me to live on our dreams]
She left for the heaven
where she'd bet to see
everything she couldn't
staying with me.
i'm left alone,
lyke once she was
but i'll go to her
to clothe her in my arms.