April Fool's Joke/The false alarm

The case was almost a few years back, around 2004, I believe. A friend of mine visited me for a quick chat. He's from the 1930's, a time traveller and respected man in the whole of England. I knew that the reason why he came to me is because he wanted to talk to me about something. His name is Lord Charles Vampenhish, and his fame was that of jewels. The more rare, the better, he told me one time. I greeted him, as per usual, and allowed him to take a seat. It was a cafe setting, so I had no choice but to sit there, my ears listening to his words as he rambled along.

"My dear Sole... I have a problem," he began as he bit his lips, anxious. I looked at him and encouraged him to continue his tale of woe. Well, his problem to be a tale of woe, anyway.

"You see, I am to be engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world. However, I am troubled because I can't find my... well..." he tried to look for a word, but I jumped in to make him continue his little story.

"Dowry?" I asked as Lord Vampenhish shook his head. His emerald eyes and dark brunette hair, well glossed, shook firmly as he looked at me in my midnight eyes.

"No, I wouldn't say 'dowry', but... rather a present. To show that I mean it, not just kneeling down on the floor and propose while you whip the solitaire diamond ring out for romantic purposes. Quite a handful, eh?" he asked as I nodded. It was obvious that I saw the situation clearly. Wunderval, my dear Katrina would say, wun-der-val.

"So, tell me the particulars about this unfortunate theft," I said to him as his lordship began to slowly narrate it.

"You know about the infamous Emerald, the "Perfect Leaf", yes? I was bidding for that in an auction, and I won. For more than..." he lowered his voice,"... four hundred thousand pounds," he whispered as I whistled low. For more than four hundred thousand pounds in the 1930's was something huge for him. He continued.

"So, you see, old chap, I brought it home, no problems there, and I put it in the safe, in my study, as you know. So far, I think there were three or so maids and the butler who saw the necklace, as well as my fiancée. I remembered her saying that it was the most beautiful necklace ever to be seen," Lord Vampenhish explained in full as I nodded.

"So, in another words, you copied the master key so that the maids and the butler can have access to the room for cleaning purposes only," I added as he nodded.

"Yes, how did you know that?" his lordship asked, as though he was hypnotized with the sound of my voice. I smiled.

"The maid complained of backache from reaching the very high shelves... the only room free of dust is the study," I smirked, just to make sure his reaction was that of legendary. He eventually composed himself, and stared at me with his emerald eyes. It seemed to be pleading with me about something.

"If you can, I will spare no expense... to find that damned thief and recover that emerald. You're the best in the business, and I know that you're discreet when it comes to matters like these... otherwise the in-laws will think ill of me. And not to mention, the insurance I'd paid on that necklace... that doesn't substitute for the real thing. I don't want to be like the Opsaen case and the infamous pearl necklace... it's quite a scandal, you see," Lord Vampenhish wavered as I nodded and patted him lightly on the back.

"So, what type of ring did you bring her?" I asked brightly, just to change the subject at hand. He breathed in deeply as he took a photo and a box out of his pockets.

"Here... she told me to keep the ring, in case if she looses it... and she IS a forgetful creature... wonderful as she is... and the photo, just for police purposes," he said as I opened the ring box. A solitaire diamond, perfect for a slim and healthy woman of her age. I looked at the photo, and it matched the description perfectly. My mind's thinking fast as I hold the ring in my hands, wondering why would she ask her fiancé to hold her ring until her wedding day.

'Why on earth would she ask her lover a strange request like that? I wonder if...' I thought about it for some time, and decided that I should accept the case. After all, there was nothing else for me to do...

"I'll see if I can recover it... by the way, who's the lucky girl that you proposed to?" I asked as he shook his head, which was a surprise. Usually, he'd remembered people's name once he meets them for the first time. But to not remember his fiancée, that was a shock.

"I... I forgot her name, which is rather stupid of me. I remember the face, but I cannot remember her name," he said sheepishly before he stood up and left me to ponder. I just wonder...

#*#*#

It was the next day that I went to the house to inspect the damage. The butler, Practical, stood at the doorway of the study, explaining what happened on the night of the 'theft'.

"As you can see, my master was upset when the lock was pried open... he didn't tell me what it was, and I don't know myself what the thief prised it open with," he said as I examined the lock. Satisfied, I made a gesture to him to continue.

"I don't know how the thief got into the safe, but... it was gone when he opened the door up here," he added as I looked at the safe. Prised open without a single scratch, and the fact that the locking mechanism was damaged after it was opened amused me. And also... did he buy a new safe? Maybe he didn't like the old safe, but, still... it made me think a little more than usual. I turned around to the butler and asked if the maids knew the combination to the safe. He shook his head.

"I doubt that it is their business to know the master's private things, let alone the combination to that safe. After all, their duties are to dust the room, clean the carpets and to wipe the windows," he droned as I nodded.

"And as from your master, he tells me that you're not interested in jewels... why aren't you interested in jewels? I mean, many people nowadays would die in order to posses a small diamond or a sapphire..." I said to him as he shook his head.

"The moral principle of it all, sir. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's death or any scandal that's attached to the whole thing. And it all starts with jewels, sir. Wicked, cruel objects, jewels," he continued to drone in his monotone voice as I shook his hand warmly. That was all I needed to know.

"Ah, thank you for your help. By the way, do you know if your master's fiancée's name? I want to have a word with her," I said as the butler shook his head, his surprise clearly etched on his face.

"Her name, sir? I... I don't know her name, her face is covered with a black veil, sir," the butler answered as I nodded sagely.

"Ah, I see..."

#*#*#

The maids shook her head when I asked them if they received the keys or not. They were at the kitchen, washing up the dishes and other appropriate things as they talked to me, rather cautiously.

"I don't recall the master presenting us the keys... he says that he doesn't like anyone alone in his study for one second... so he says. The butler supervises us when we clean the master's study," the maids told me as I nodded.

"And I suppose you haven't heard of the 'Perfect Leaf', right?" I asked as they stared at me, as if I was some sort of madman.

"No, sir. What is this 'Perfect Leaf' about?" they asked in unison as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Just asking..."

#*#*#

It was back in 1932 when I met Lord Vampenhish again, this time with a rather large woman next to him. I thought that he was joking, but somehow, he seemed to be serious about it. And not to mention, it was April 1st. I went over to him, in his evening suit, and his bride of over grossly proportions, and a ruby red dress that covered her nicely. She had platinum blonde hair, and the first thing that came into my mind was that if she was a puppet because in her previous life... oh, never mind.

"Ah, I want you to meet my fiancée, Margaret Lyre. Madge, this is my friend, Adrian Sole, a private detective," he introduced me to her, as she bowed, rather ungracefully. Her body weight was the main contribution of it.

"I'm honoured to meet you, my dear," I began politely as she giggled to me. She took the kiss gracefully as she stood up and looked at me with her pale, grey eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm sure... my fiancé told me about the present, and I hope that you do recover that jewel and that thief... that was just too heartless to..." she trailed off as I nodded.

"May I ask you a few questions?" I asked as she slowly nodded. She looked at me, her curiosity heightened as I began to ask her a few questions.

"First and foremostly, how long do you know him, Lord Vampenhish?" I asked informally as she answered my question, rather carelessly.

"Just before the Crash. He was about to invest in something huge, and I warned him that such an investment would do him more harm than any good. And I was right. He was grateful afterwards, and we went out afterwards as a means of his everlasting gratitude," she answered as I nodded.

"Ah. And I see you're very devoted to him, despite your appearance," I pointed out with a tone of diplomacy as she took a deep breath and sighed.

"Yes, despite my appearance, he said that he loves me with all of his soul. Not on the outside, but on the inside, he said to me," she said with a smile. I nodded again, slowly, and allowed myself to continue with the conversation at hand.

"So, did he take you to his parents? I thought they would object to someone like yourself, if the both of you love each other so much," I said gently as she smiled.

"Well... actually, I didn't see his parents," she said, rather surprised. I pressed on the matter, stuck gold as most people say in pictures.

"Well, didn't you know that? He always presents his prospective bride to his parents, but each and every one of them failed. I thought it's a surprise that he would do something unusual like this. Planning to elope, are you?" I smirked as she shook her head.

"No, no, no, no! I... we... we weren't going to do anything of that sort!" she was panicking, there was something that I liked about this. Panicking means that she ran out of lines... straight off the bat. I added in something else.

"And I doubt that you knew the combination to the safe, right? You know, the safe?" I asked as she looked at me, confused.

"What, the one in the basement on a temporary basis, or the one in the study?" she asked as I smiled big and wide. I solved the case.

#*#*#

After bringing Miss Lyre back to him in the living area, he waved her away and he and I had some time alone with each other. So, without any further ado, I went straight to the point and displayed all of my deductions in full. I was in his house, a little later on in the day. I stood in front of him, and watched his eyes dulled down as I began to talk to him.

"Lord Vampenhish, I have the greatest pleasure to say that I have found the thief. However, the jewel still remains to be hidden because the thief has it," I began slowly, watching his lordship's reaction. Nothing. So far, so good. I continued.

"The person who could've possibly stole the necklace is not the maids, who swore that they weren't given the keys, only the butler has them... and the butler, as you say, is not interested in jewels... so, the only person who can steal the necklace is either your fiancée or you. However, there were a few facts that differ from you and her. You had the keys to the study and you knew the numbers to the combination safe. Did I mention that Practical told me that the door was prised open when the jewel was found missing? And yet... the door wasn't scratched, nor REPLACED. The door still had its old hinges, and it wasn't disturbed," I began as he snorted, as though he didn't care.

"So?" he asked as his hands lazily reached for the cigarette next to him. He lit one up, and smoked like a chimney would. "And what about the safe? It was prised open, after all," he pointed out as I continued my deductions.

"Also, I have found out that two safes were used, and the odd thing is that... that your safe was opened, BUT... it wasn't prised open. It was opened conventionally, and someone decided to throw in a red herring by destroying the locking mechanism and add in a few scratches to make it look like the safe was prised open. So, unless your fiancée knows about the necklace or the combination, I believe that it was you who stole it," I said coolly, watching his reaction eventually transform. He shook his head, and started to sweat.

"No, it can't be... why would I steal my own necklace? I..." he began as I continued.

"Because you had insurance on it... and also the fact that you were allergic to marriage made me think more about this. And also, I doubt that your fiancée is for real because the ring you showed me fits on a young lady's finger," I smirked as I pointed to her rather large hands on the photo (I took a photo of her hands after the interview between me and her), "the engagement ring you showed me earlier wouldn't fit on her at all. I suggest you come down to the station because I'm putting you under arrest..." I began merrily as his uncontrolled breaths became more obvious.

"No, I didn't! I didn't do this! Look, you're not serious, are you?!" he wailed as I smiled at him. This is where I just wanted him, begging for mercy after playing me like a fool. So, this is what I said to him next.

"Other than your lie about the 'Perfect Leaf' as a non-existent jewel... April Fools," I smirked as I left him, speechless. I knew that there was no such emerald as the 'Perfect Leaf'. If I had known what it was, people would've murdered for the jewel, not carelessly stolen, and furthermore... it wasn't on the jewel registry in 1932. And not to mention that the safe in the study was fake... I knew that he'd brought a second safe and hid the real one somewhere... in the basement. And as for his fiancée? I knew a fact, a psychological fact that he didn't like women... I knew that he was stringing me along, and I decided to do a little... payback.

And not to mention, my payback went off well.