Lady Reformed

I am a hurt woman running across an open, empty desert trying to conquer my mind and escape this overcoming state of insanity. Where am I? How did I get here? How do I leave?
All I ever wanted was to be happy and to feel appreciated by the people that I thought were close to me. However, now I feel like I can't even lift my head up, let alone represent my essence. Life lifted me up, stretched me out, and threw me every which direction. I came to the point of denial (I kept telling myself that this can't possibly be happening to me) and after I discovered that it was of no help, I decided to hide myself completely from the oncoming torment that I have been constantly experiencing. How was I to do that? How can I protect myself from the cold hearts of these savages that are taking over my naive soul? "I got it!" The answer is in the eyes. Yes, yes it's all in the eyes. My divine decision was made right then and there. I was to shield my eyes from the harmful ones of others. Therefore, they will never get a grasp of my dreadful past. They'll never be able to connect with my emotions or understand my comlexities. I followed through with that sudden commitment, hoping to redeem the respect that I never once felt, but knew I should have. I don't want to be afraid of people. I want to carry a strong will power that no one can squash, a heart that no one can break, a personality that no one can impersonate, and most importantly, a secret that no one can uncover.

So look at me and I will smile, kiss me and I will kiss you back, speak to me and I will listen, but no one will ever earn the chance to look into my eyes. They will be kept hidden in a place where no harm can be done and no feelings can be exposed. These eyes of mine have been the cause of love, hate, envy, and misery. Now you can consider then gone. Disregard the presence of the one and only feature that can manage to reveal any kind of secret. NO MORE!