Dimensionally Challenged

                                          Dimensionally Challenged

She seemed to live on a different plain of existence. She might as well have. We had been neighbors all of our lives, yet we have never said a word to each other. Being in high school just served to reinforce this rule like a force field. Or perhaps the force field was around me. I'm the guy that no one talks to unless they want to commit social suicide.
         I feel like I am just slightly out of this dimension, where I can see everyone else, but no one can see me. Whenever I try to reach out to her, or anyone for that matter, my hand goes right through them. I think living on a different plain of existence would be far less painful than the truth. The truth is that she can see and hear me just fine, she just chooses to ignore me. I'm not cool enough for her to waste her breath on me. I'm just the nerdy kid in her science class. She probably doesn't even notice I'm in her science class.
         Today in science class, we are going to be paired into lab partners. I've been calculating my odds of being pair with her and they are 56 to 1. Those are better odds than me ever being picked first to play football.
         "...Mr. Troy is with Miss Tanner," my teacher said as he went down the list of lab partners. I never thought I'd hear my name and her name in the same sentence. Brittany Tanner and Alex Troy, lab partners, the universe holds many strange things.
         I boldly go where I've never gone before, I sit next to Brittany. Her beauty is like a black hole that is sucking me in. There is no escape, nor do I want there to be. She doesn't look at me. Her face isn't a big smile like mine. She scoots her desk away from me. I don't think she feels the same gravitational pull as I do.
         After the teacher gives us the assignment, the bell rings.
         "Meet me at the Library at six o'clock," Brittany says as she puts on her backpack and is gone before I can say anything. That is the longest sentence she has ever said to me.
         I count down the time until six o'clock like a rocket launch counting down to liftoff. I get there half hour early, unable to wait any longer. She gets there fifteen minutes late. As she approaches, I stand up and pull out a chair for her. She hesitates for a second, but then sits down.
         "Hi," I say mesmerized by being there with her.
         "Hi," she says, a little freaked out by my greeting. The look in her eyes tells me she's thinking this is going to be a long night.
         I clear my throat, trying to get rid of the drooling tone. "So, do you have any ideas of what our topic should be?"
         "Something that will get me an 'A'," she replies.
         "Okay, that's pretty broad. Well, I was thinking we could do a piece on lasers."
         "Sounds like an 'A' to me. Lets do it."
         "Alright," I say, rubbing my sweaty hands together. "Let's get to it."
         We study and plan what we are going to do for the next three hours. Sometimes she doesn't understand what I'm talking about, so I try to explain it with Star Trek analogies. She catches on quick. The time goes by so fast it gives me whip lash. At the end of our study "date," as I like to think of it, we begin picking up our books and putting them in our backpacks. She then she asks me, "Why do you like Star Trek so much?"
         I stop for a few seconds, with my book in my hand before putting into my backpack. "My dad used to really like Star Trek. He died about four years ago," I say solemnly.
         "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
         "No, it's okay. I'm fine with it now. It still hurts, but I can talk about it." We begin heading out of the library. "When my dad died, I delved deep into his old Star Trek books. I felt... closer to my dad when I read his old books. It was like he was reading right beside me. I could forget whatever was happening in my life and be transported into the Star Trek universe. I didn't talk to anyone for a while. That was how I grieved, or perhaps it was how I denied that anything had happened." Somehow, saying it out loud made everything that happened during those years become clear. I was able to see how those events shaped who I was now. I wondered at how easily I opened up to Brittany. This was the first time we had ever really talked outside of my dreams. Yet, I had poured out to her what I had kept so well contained inside of me. I felt lighter, like I had just ejected my cargo holds.
         "I had no idea you were going through all that," Brittany says with apologetic eyes that are solely focused on me. I notice something else in her eyes that wasn't there before. Some sort of revelation about the world around her. "Everyone has different way of dealing with things, I guess," she says. "You had more to deal with then most kids. Most of us just worry about if we're getting a new zit, not what casket our dad should go in."
         I realized that we were outside, between our two houses. "Tonight was actually fun. Well, as fun as studying can be. I've got to go now though," Brittany says almost reluctantly. She doesn't look at me like I'm just a geek to her anymore.
         "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
         "Yep," she says before walking to her house. I stand there, not willing to move from my spot, watching her until she's inside her house. I slowly walk toward my house enjoying the warm weather. An orchestra of crickets play their soft, sweet melodies all around me. I look up into the night sky. Only a few wispy clouds are at the top of the sky dome. The color is a deep indigo speckled with bright shining stars. I spot the north star. My north star is leading me back into the dimension that everyone else is in.