An updated, humorous look at some popular fairy tales and nursery rhymes. |
This young girl, called Little Red Riding Hood, Beat up the wicked wolf and killed him stone dead When she found him in her old grandma's bed. She buried him deep, and then ate her food. This other girl who was named Little Bo-peep Thought that taxidermy was her calling. Ignoring their baas and their caterwauling She moved straightaway to practice on her sheep. This third girl, who as Mary was well known For all her kin and friends threw a royal bash. She started with cold lemonade and squash Went on to lamb kebab, with or without bone. Now at Little Miss Muffet we shall take a look Alone in the dark, was frightened by a spider. Got pissed off badly, no mercy inside her She pinned it as a specimen in her bio book. Next, on Sleeping Beauty let us all focus. When the prince kissed her, the handsome hunk Transformed into an evil smelling black skunk. Alas, he said, goddamn this hocus pocus. Glass shoed Cinderella is next on our chart. She married the prince and things changed in a trice. Her step mom and step sisters skated on thin ice: She guillotined them, right out of her heart. We come now to Goldilocks and the bears. Papa bear's pelt basks in her fireplace's glow, Mama bear dances to music in a freak show, Where Baby bear is, no one knows or cares. Last, but not the least, is gentle Snow White. She sold the seven dwarfs to a slave trader, The money from the deal surely made her. She takes her holidays in the Isle of Wight. |