Poem for my grandmother who recently lost her spouse |
so ends another day of winter the cold wind pinches my face and skin i walk along the grey sidewalk the grey path toward home the only footsteps are my own, a dull thud on the concrete my pockets provide some shelter for my hands but not as much as your hand would I know i am not lost, for the street upon which i'm walking is familiar but i am lost without you strolling silently up the driveway where once your rugged jeep was parked slowly pulling out a small bronze key and opening the front door i enter our home The couch is where it used to be, and the tv, the fridge, the bookshelf but nothing is warm anymore Pictures of us in the park during autumn hang along the wall shadows and forgotten memories i kick off my shoes and they land askew in the corner by the door my coat is heavy and i hang it and my hat on the back of your rocking chair once, when i came home with the groceries, you'd held out your arms and pulled me close and took the bags from me to put them away but not anymore the fridge is bare and unused i land heavily on our thick comforter olive green a color you never liked but got it anyway because it matched the curtains i wish instead that there was no comforter at all and i that there was you so i hold my pillow close and can only hope to pretend that you're here because once you'd closed your eyes and let God take you that was the end and now i am alone in our bedroom holding your pillow dreaming of you knowing that when i wake up there will only be silence and another day |