No-Name

A black, moonless night offers no mercy as its harsh wind wraps round her small frame. Her teeth chatter against chapped lips as she waits. Waits for her next costumer. Pedestrians crowd the sidewalks but cross the road to avoid walking past as if she was some filthy disease they could catch. If there looks could kill, she wouldnt stand a chance. She takes in a deep breathe, sure not to give them the satisfaction of shouting or crying, but instead shifts her skirt a little bit higher and winks at them. Their shocked responses would want to make you laugh, but not her. It was just a constant reminder of who she was and what she had become, the shame was unbearable. She wrapped her arms round her shivering body to get some comfort and leaned from what foot to another. The cheap material was beginning to itch. She new her reflection was a mess. The short cheap skirt, with the disgusting shiny boobtube, stockings with rips (she couldnt afford new ones). And her face. Fake. Harsh red lipstick painted on a seductive smile, no one could see the cracks underneath. Her eyes, caked in heavy eyeliner and mascara, gave off a confident, fun woman. Whilst beneath lay a scared little girl, who just wants to be loved and escape the misery she called life.

A car beginning to slow down near, bought her out of her little day dream. Like an actress about to go on stage, she quickly pushed out her inner voice and became a seductress. Hips wagging in a hypnotic fashion, she strolled over to her next victim.
Rolling down his window he looks her up and down as if shopping for some meat. She held her smile, eyes never leaving his. He wasnt exactly prince charming. Residing headline, small slit-like eyes which held an air of arrogance and were too close together, a fat wobbly chin with rubbery swollen lips. She knew even from him sitting down he was heavily overwieght, but swallowing her pride she leaned in over the window and gazed at him as if he was all she wanted, and she wanted him now. "Whats a man like you doing by himself on a cold evening like this" she purred, stroking his arm lighlty with her fingertips. He grunts slightly like a pig and shifts slightly in his chair to get a better look at her. "You will do. Get in the back.". A pang of anger and hurt stirred up inside her, but she quickly got into the back of the car, just happy to get out of the cold.


The seats smelled of new leather and were so comfy, she could of easily fallen asleep but instead was on alert. Yes it was a dangerous job. Who knew, right now he could be taking her to a ditch to rape, stab and leave for death. But she had nothing else, this is all she had. Gripping the car door handle, in case of emergency she kept that same tarty smile, whilst beneath her heart was pounding so loud, she couldnt hear herself think. Finally the car began to slow down into a secluded spot. She was happy to be familiar with it and relaxed, but only slightly. The fat stranger struggled his way to the back seat beside her, and without even saying a word clamped his big rubbery lips on hers. He was a terrible kisser. His tongue darted in and out of her mouth like a lizard, his spit covered lips eating the whole of her small mouth. She tried to kiss his neck, as she hated mouth to mouth contact, but he quickly pinned her arms to the chair so she couldnt move. He was in complete control. As he got more excited, his breathing became more rapid, and she nearly puked at the smell of his cigarette breath. He was vile but she played her part well moaning and sighing in all the right places, saying she wanted him and ooh how he was the best she ever had. His weight almost crushed her tiny frame, his excitement rubbing like a dog on heat against her thigh. He tore at her clothes, digging his nails in deep, causing her to scream out. This got him more excited and called her "his whore". With his teeth he snapped off her frilly bra, and sucked each nipple so hard, like he wanted to cause pain. There was no tenderness, but she was use to it. She bought her arms round him and whispered into his ear "I want you to fuck me now". He pushed her a away further into the seat and fumbled with his belt, she reached out to help but he slapped her hand away and told her to take off her skirt and stockings. He wasnt big at all, as she felt him slide in and out of her rapidly, but she was happy about this, as she the rest of her body was aching from his heavy touch. He stank of BO as he pushed his body with the greatest effort. Pinned down by his weight, she couldnt even begin to help, but lay and pray it would be over soon.

Suddenly his body shuddered and her let out an animalistic roar, digging his nails into her shoulders as he came. He lay for a few seconds on top of her, as his cum began trickling back out. Tears glistened her eyes, and that same queasy feeling circled round the pit of her stomach. With shaking hands she quickly put on her torn clothes, wanting to get out as fast as she could. The man dug into his pocket and without giving her a second look thrust 30 quid in her face and told her to "get the fuck out of his car". As the car took off, darkness descended round her once more and she stood for a few seconds, just taking in the fresh air.Lonliness, which was her only friend, began creeping in. She walked on quickly to esacpe from the coldness and her shame, Her feet was throbbing from her cheap heels but she didnt care, she just wanted to go back to her hovel and hide. A string of laughter nearby caught her attention, it sounded so alien to her now. She followed the melodious tune and came across a family watching there saturday night tv programmes. The lighted front room was like a beacon of happiness, the children were in hysterics, there smiles (not fake) were held with such innocence, it was envious. The parents, both mum and dad shined with love as they nudged each other and laughed along with there two kids. They all looked so cosy, cosy and warm. The feeling of lonliness became stronger now, as she looked in from the outside, wishing she had that. Wishing for the perfect family she never had. Her face was so numb she didnt realise the tears that were falling rapidly down her cheeks. She moved on, not wanting to be caught out looking into there home. They would probably set the dogs on her.


She snuck into her flat, tip toeing up the stairs so the land lord wouldnt start pestering her for rent money. She just wanted to be left alone. Walking in, her place was a picture of misery. There was no life in it. Her light didnt give off the same beacon of happiness. Just highlighted the decay. Mouldy carpet felt rough on her aching feet, offering no comfort. Her unmade bed sagged in the middle due to her old mattress, held up by an irom bed you would see in a pirson cell. Rubbish scattered on the floor and was stained from take aways and make up. An old, mouldy smell hung around her all the time, but she didnt care. She had knowone to impress. A shiver ran down her spine, why was it always cold?!. Flinging herself on her bed, she wrapped the thin quilt round her a tightly as possible, pushing her head down into her pillow, sometimes leaving it longer then she should. The feeling of suffocation, the air from you lungs being snatched away, gave her an unusual comfort. That same pang of sickness circled round in her stomach. This time rising into her throat. She dashed to the toilet in time puking her guts out, ramming her fingers in to make sure she got it all out. As is trying to cleanse herself. She leaned against the toilet wall and gazed into the mirror. Her greasy, thin hair was manic, like she had been dragged through a hedge. Her mascara was smudged from the crying, Her face pale. But it was her eyes which scared her the most. They didnt look like they belonged to her. Held such confusion and hurt. Like the little girl inside was trying to reach out and scream "you are someone!" "Why are you doing this to yourself?!"


Why was she doing this to herself?. Okay she had to run away from her abusive step father, but to run to this?. Was life really so shit, this is all she had to fall back onto?. Let others abuse her body and take advantage, when it was something she had wanted to esacpe from since the age of eight?. Her reflection became to much and she smashed it with her fist. Glass dispersed everywhere, but she didnt hide her face. She let it shed her bits of her skin. She didnt want to be herself, she wanted to be someone else. She glanced down at her wrist and see deep red blood spurting out. She couldnt feel the pain, she was too numb. Laughing as she felt her body grow weaker, she slid down against the wall and waited for life to come to an end. Waited for the air the leave her lungs so she could be at peace. Peace from the harsh world she was bought into. The goes all light headed and the room begins to spin, shes shaking again. But with her eyes closed she smiles. She knows death has come to save her. Delirious she hums a nursery ryhme

“Rock a bye baby on the tree top...
When the wind blows the cradle will rock...
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall..
And down will come baby...cradle and all.“

....