Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa
‘I caught one of them you know. Over there by that hill’, the old man motioned towards a small hill nearby, a double-barrel shotgun perched over his shoulder. ‘I put it in a cage that used to have pigs in it. It’s got a name’.
‘How’d you catch it?’ asked the young man, stopping to put his heavy pack down on the dusty ground next to the driveway. The road had been hot and the day had been long. Now the sun was setting and all wise humans were searching for a hiding place for the night. The darkness always brought the rage.
‘Name’s Jonah Jackson’ said the old man ‘and before I tell my story how about you tell me yours. You do realise, young man, you are officially on my property. Now tell me your business before I put some lead in you’. Jonah levelled his shotgun straight at the young man’s chest. Trust these days, was about as hard to come by as a nice tall glass of ice water, especially out here.
‘Please Mr. Jackson, don’t shoot. My name is Toby. Toby Hill.’ The young man, with his arms raised, pleaded with the older man hoping his kind blue eyes would save him yet again.
‘I assure you my intentions are good. I do apologise for arriving unannounced but I saw your sign ‘JJ’s bed & breakfast’ out by the highway. Thought I might be able to grab a bite to eat and a place to rest for the night. I’ve been on the road for nearly three days with those… those things right on my ass and I sure could use a cool shower.’
The sound of some kind of animal howling echoed in the middle distance. Jonah peered down the barrel of his shotgun, knowing that he could end this young man’s life by simply exhaling gently and squeezing the trigger of his weapon. Truth be told, it would be easier. He already had too many mouths to feed as it was. Food was scarce on both sides.
‘Got any skills I could use?’ Enquired Jonah, staying Toby’s execution momentarily.
‘Well sir, in my old life I was a horticulturalist - you know, a gardener. I know all about plants and soils and the like. I can grow vegetables, fruit, herbs… whatever you want really.’ Toby noticed the sun was dipping low on the horizon and the sky was beginning to turn a deep orange colour. His anxiety level was inversely proportional to the setting sun.
‘A gardener! Believe it or not, I was a teacher for almost 20 years before the change. Anyway, it’s always good to have some extra food about, I suppose. I just can’t seem to grow tomatoes. Damn things keep dying. My wife always said I had a black thumb. Ha! Well I guess one night wouldn’t hurt anyone’. Joe conceded that young Toby looked harmless enough and didn’t appear bright enough to be deceiving him.
Jonah lowered his weapon and invited Toby into his house. ‘We best get you inside before they come. Reckon they might make a meal of both of us if we take too long’.
For the first time Jonah and Toby laughed together.
They began walking back towards the house as darkness descended quickly across the outback. Screams emanated from nearby as the two men quickened their pace.
Jonah heard the gunshot at the same moment the bullet tore through his abdomen. Contrary to what he had heard, the pain was instant and severe.
‘Aaaaaahhhh! You son of a bitch! Why did you go and do that? Fuck, I’m going to bleed to death you realise!’ Jonah fell to his knees and held his stomach.
‘Sorry old mate. No hard feelings. Times are tough, food is scarce. Survival of the fittest and all that business.’ Toby was now pointing a small but evidently powerful handgun at Jonah’s head. His piercing blue eyes, no longer pleading, mocked Jonah as he lay there in the red dust bleeding.
‘Tell me dear Jonah, how many friends you got in there? Five? Ten?’ Toby knelt beside his victim pressing the barrel of his gun into Jonah’s cheek.
‘Twelve… argh… Jesus… but they’re….’ Jonah winced with pain.
‘Come on old chap, don’t leave me in suspense. Its getting dark out and the guests are coming over for dinner.’ Toby could hear the approaching horde.
‘They’re kids alright! I’m a school teacher remember, you bastard!’
‘Excellent old chap! That should be fun then. Any girls?’ After days on the road Toby felt that his luck was turning around.
‘I swear to god if you touch them…. You son of a bitch!’ Jonah cried out in pain.
The sound of gnashing teeth and moaning slowly rose; breaking the serenity of the day.
‘Oh lovely, Mrs Jackson is it? Someone to keep the bed warm then… fantastic! This day really started out quite shite, but it really has turned around. I must say thank you my dear Jonah, however it is getting quite late and frankly I would rather you be zombie food than yours truly. Thanks for all the help. Now, I must go and meet my new family. Adios old chap!’ Toby picked up Jonah’s shotgun and made his way towards the front door of JJ’s bed and breakfast.
As Jonah lay there dying in the dust he heard the sound of his approaching demise. The zombies were a mere few hundred metres down the highway and they were coming fast, no doubt further incited into rage by the smell of Jonah’s blood. If only he had more time he would be able to save himself. He felt the life draining out of him the same way tiredness overcame him when he watched late night movies. He could never stay awake.
As Toby stepped up onto the veranda of the bed and breakfast he noticed small fearful tear soaked eyes peering out through the curtains at him.
‘Hello babies,’ he announced, his eyes sparkling with lust and joy, ‘time to meet your new Daddy!’
At that moment, Jonah let out an almighty painful scream. To Toby it sounded otherworldly. It sounded… like them!
‘Buuuuwaaahh Chiiiii Guuuu Chopper….. Attack!’ and with that Jonah exhaled his final breathe and died in the dust. An instant later, Toby heard another ungodly scream, this time it came from the small hill behind the bed and breakfast. ‘Chiiii Guuuu RaaaAAAAA!’ was the guttural response.
Toby ran for the front door, but of course it was locked. The eyes at the window had disappeared into the darkness of the large living room. The sound of metal and gnashing teeth could be heard over Toby’s cries of frustration and anger. Panic overcame him like a wave. It hadn’t occurred to him to run away, or to even use the shotgun for that matter. This was a situation beyond his experience.
He heard the sound of running. Something was running around the side of the house. Its heavy footsteps were fast and hard on the wooden veranda and it ran with focus and intent. With tears now streaming out of his beautiful blue eyes down his face, Toby knew it was running for him. The sun was now well beyond the horizon and all that remained was a magical deep orange glow in the west.
Toby, frozen in fear on the front step of Jonah’s bed and breakfast, soiled himself quietly, and then fell to his knees in prayer. The zombie named Chopper, terrible and magnificent, bounded towards him and was but a few steps away. The horde was now at the front gate and several zombies had broken off from the pack and were making a beeline for Toby, sprinting like horrible starved athletes.
Toby closed his eyes and accepted his fate. As Chopper lunged at him he took a huge chunk of skin in his teeth and untidily removed it from the bone on Toby’s chest. Chopper tasted the blood as it filled his mouth and then, he personified ‘frenzy’.
Toby’s life was deservingly drained away from him no more than 90 seconds after old Jonah’s had.
The approaching horde stopped in their tracks. The sight of old Jonah dead on the ground confused them. They looked to the bed and breakfast where Chopper was feeding on Toby and then simply turned around and moved away; almost as fast as they had come.
Were he able to look down on the calamity that had befallen his tranquil bed and breakfast Jonah would have been pleased. Not pleased that he was dead, but pleased that his theory was right, and that the children were safe. And he owed it all to the most unlikely protector and guardian - a zombie.
A zombie named Chopper.
The End.