Contradictions

Contradictions



You’re consistently in my head,

Always on my mind,

You’re always the thing I must look for,

The thing I never find,

Yet try to . . .

I’ll always try,

To puncture the silence with a stab of my sewing needle,

To run from the noise, the background noise, all around me,

You’re never far away,

At the same time You are the Northern Star I see,

Something I can’t reach,

The sky I aim to be,

At one point or another,

Emotions, I’ll try to smother,

With a wall around my heart,

With a moat around this fortress,

How invisible I must seem,

In the big scheme of things,

But that doesn’t mean I’ll give up,

Give up?

Not yet,

Perhaps someday I’ll lose this magnetic hope,

It’s attracted to my soul,

Connected to my heart,

Living within my mind,

You never trouble my presence,

Always kind and pure,

But always never changes,

You are consistent in belief,

The thing that You are,

I try to be close to,

Try -- most ardently -- to be like,

Alas, I am only human,

A being among beings,

But there must be something more to me,

Something only I can’t see,

But don’t You worry,

For there are guardian angels in the atmosphere,

Clinging to me,

Making me see,

That life is dear,

I can’t always answer the questions,

The ones about my faith,

How can I answer?

When all my faith is but blind yet true?

Without You there is no air in my lungs, no beat in my heart, no feeling in my soul -- which is yours and yours alone,

But You must cast the first stone,

Give me a path, I’ll make the choice,

For there is purpose in my steps,

Fearlessness in my graceful gait,

Then there is You,

The something that I am desperate for,

Yet already have locked in a treasure chest deep within the sands of my mind,

Everything changes,

Yet You remain, always, the same.