Depression

Days pass a blur,
I'm drowning, falling, slowly dying.
Apathy attempts to suffocate me
And hapiness laughs in my face, just out of reach...
Taunting me.

Periods of time pass by where memories collapse.
As I drift between consciousness and sleep I realize,
No logical thought has flitted through my mind all day.
Am I going insane? Am I dying?
The first concern I've felt for a long time.

I don't remember a thing.
Days either crawled by agonizingly slow,
Or flow past so fast that it's unreal.
Numbness spreads,
I'm drowning in Novacain.

I watch the blood flow
And relief fills me.
But as I welcome the pain, the feeling, the emotion,
I start to realize,
Something is terribly wrong.

I watch people laugh and play,
All the while I bathe in numbness.
My consciance stirs
And I finally realize,
We're all supposed to feel something...

But I've forgotten how.
How to cry,
How to love,
How to fight...
How to believe.

Days continue to pass,
And I quickly go numb again.
I lose all hope,
All sense,
And start to wonder if it's worth it to carry on.

And then one day.
A magic day just by mistake,
A glimpse of color,
A shrill scream,
The scream of something new.

My eyes opened wide.
And something stirred inside.
Suddenly everything fell into place,
I remembered reason,
I remembered life.

I cried some tears,
felt some pain,
but utter joy as I learned to live.
Hope filled me,
I felt again.

Days flew by,
Passed so quickly,
But in a different way.
I remembered,
Remembered why I carried on.

I felt new,
But they never knew,
The pain I had to endure.
I've been through more,
Than anyone would ever know.

I was born from music,
Saved by God,
Learned my place in life...
The day I died,
Was the day I started to live.