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A Parody of Phantom of the Opera Cat-Girl Singer Marzipan ends up in nightmarish world |
| [Introduction]
Well this is my second attempt at a Space Trek story The story is a parody of Phantom of the Opera with a twist Instead of asking the Damsil to marry him The Phantom (Falco the Ave) Demands Marzipan surrender her Cat-Magic to him because his uncle Skeksis is convinced that Marzipan's uniquie magic energy will give him what he needs to seize power to the throne. Can Marzipan's lover Ichabod save Marzipan from losing her feline birthright? Can Marzipan save herself? |
| Marzipan was makin her sweet heart fried onions when she heard a knock her door it sounded to rough to be that of her lover Ichabod...She peeped through the mail slot and almost jumped back...It looked like a large alien bird...An Ave was it? She didn't know what to do...This bird didn't look like a UPS Guy...Finaly she decieded to open the door. "Hello My Dear." The Bird said as he entered "Do I know you?" Marzipan asked "You don't but your Mother did." The Ave said "I knew your Mother well before you were born...My Dear could you please give me a glass of water I'm parched." Marzipan was so shocked that this Ave knew her Mother she couldn't say anything but she got him a glass of water "That better." The Hooked Beak Ave said gulping down the water Ice Cubes and all "Know as I was saying I know where your Mother is specificly what planet she is now located." |
| "Well so do I," Marzipan said. "I send her flowers for Mother's Day and for her birthday, as it is far too expensive for me to visit her in person." "Well I might be able to arrange a trip for you," the Ave said. "I am quite welthy you should know." |
"Why should I know that?" Marzipan said. "I never saw you before today and you haven't even told me your name." "I'm sorry, my dear. My name is Falco the Ave. I guess you've heard of me now, eh?" "No. That name doesn't ring any bells for me. What's your claim to fame? Just having a lot of money?" |
| "I'll have you know I come from a long line of Nobles." Falco said gruffly Just then Ichabod walked through the door "Um Hi." Ichabod said |
| "Is this guy a friend of yours?" "He's just someone who says he knows my mother." |
| Ichabod grinned. "You found your dad!" "Don't make fun of that! He's not my father. Er... at least I don't think he is. You're not, are you?" Falco swept his cloak back. "I would be honored to be the father of such an attractive girl as you, but alas, no I am not. I only knew your mother as a friend, not as a romantic partner. She and I had many long conversations about world events and scrabble and how to bake the best brownies." |
| "AHA!" Marzi said "You just proved you can't have known my mother!" "What?" Falco asked befuddled "Mom would not talk about brownies because like all felines she can't taste sweetness!" 'Brownies are dessert?' Falco thought to himself 'I thought they were just some kind of bread!' "Who are you really?" Ichabod asked "You better answer quickly because I'm hungry and I want the special lunch Marzi made for me!" |
| "Perhaps I should add him to the menue," Marzipan said. "I don't like fraudsters much, but I hear they make good eating." At this, Falco decided that discression, and leaving the place, was a better idea than provoking the cat any further. |
Falco looked at his watch. "Oops! The time has just slipped away. I'm sorry I have to leave you folks, but I have a previous appointment that I really must keep. Young lady Marzipan, I shall look forward to gazing on your delightful face in the future, but good-bye now." With a sweep of his cloak Falco strode away. "That's one strange dude," Ichabod said. "Can I have my special lunch now?" |
| Marzipan served Ichabod a hot meatball sub with fried onions and peppers...Ichabod moaned with pleasure as he took the first bite. "This is good!" He said "Did you make one for yourself as well?" "My Mom wrote me a letter and said she wanted me to 'eat healthy." Marzi said as she got a tuna sandwich from the fridge "She also told me not to eat oinions as they make me high-strung." "That's a shame." Ichabod said |
| Suddenly, Ichabod felt a vibration in his pocket. "Dang cellphone," he muttered getting it out. "Can't you ignore it?" Marzipan asked. Ichabod looked and the number and shook his head. "I can't, it's Joe the Foreman. The company has me, him, and the rest of the crew busy on some project in the middle of town." |
"Sounds interesting," Marzipan said. "Well it's not, it's just work." "Don't you enjoy your work?" "Oh, yeah, I do, but I don't like to talk about it much. I don't know why. I guess because when I am away from it I want to think about other things." |
| Bill Jim and Bob were hard at work planting flowers for Planet Alderbaran...Joe the Foreman (Who really should have been called the Foremole Yes he was a mole) Was ordering them around being a jerk. Jim looked at his Girldfriend..The Red Squirrel-Girl Princess Jordan...She was the only Humanimal to attain the title of princess...Jim blushed under his squirrel fur |
(Somebody read Redwall again?  )"Dude, ask her out," said Bill. "What do you mean?" Jim asked. "I hear that there will be a dance tonight at 'Dance the Night Away'," Bill said. "Also, everyone is welcome." |
"Aw, I couldn't ask her," Jim said. "She would just say no." "You don't know that!" Bill said. "Come on! Grow a pair! It won't kill you to ask her, will it?" |
| "HEY!" Said Joe the Foremole "This isn't a soap opera! Get back to work!" "Oh Hell." Jim said musering up his gall "Jordan." He said getting on one knee "Will you come with me to the dance?" "Sure." She said and walked off "She loves me." Jim said asostinsed "By the GODS she LOVES ME!" Meanwhile Skeksis was recieving a message from Duchess Bimbolurlina (His nephew Falco had no idea he had contact with the Duchess and Skeksis planned on keeping it that way) "So...You're saying these ...Humanimals have unique magical properties?" Skeksis asked "Yes" Bimbo said "Though some species have more magic than others...capture the right one and you have more than enough magical energy to take over the Avian throne." "Why are you helping me?" Skeksis asked "Because if you are King of Ava, you will be able to turn it into an Ally of the Wrangler nation not an Ally of the Federation as it is now...And further more I hope you would capture many a Humanimal slave for us with your magic if your planet was on our side!" |
| At this, Skeksis gave a wicked smile. "What makes you think that I won't betray you, and take over your nation?" he asked. "Easy, you don't want certain things falling into the wrong hands, like a copy of this conversation," Bimbo said, with a wicked grin of her own. "A double-agent could take a copy to his 'superiors' and they would send the information to Ava athorities, and you'd be arrested and tried for treson." "Sneaky, just like all of my partners." |
Jordan was sitting at her mirror brushing her hair. "Why did I say yes to that boy Jim?" she wondered. "He works for a mole. What future could he have? ... But he's so cute! ... I won't encourage him. Just having one date with him can't hurt." |
| Princess Jordan was just about to leave her house...When she suddenly remembered the Golden Pendent that the Prime Ministress of France gave to her. She went back inside the kitchen to retrieve it. When she did retreve it something jumped out of the fridge and grabbed her forearm...A Gigantic Bear Humanimal he must have been nine feet tall! Jordan screamed but there was little she could do. At the same moment Jim walked in carrying flowers and a box of chocolate "Oh Jordan I'm here to pick you up! I got your favorite...GREAT GRANDMA'S DIAPERS!" Jim exclaimed "What's going on here?!" The Bear seemed just about ready to stuff Jordan in his maw when Jim took a piece of chocolate saying "This might kill thee a little!" And dropped the candy down the beast's maw The Bear dropped his prey and turned green for like all members of order carnivoria he was allergic to chocolate! |
| Then, Jim heard a voice shout, "Tommy! Not again!" Turning around the squirrel saw a gray wolf. "I hate it when he sleep-eats," the wolf muttered. "Tell me he didn't eat someone." "He tried to eat my friend," Jim said. "However I tossed a piece of chocolate down his throat and he's having an alergic reaction." "Guess that's better than the alternative," the wolf muttered. "I keep telling him to to take his meds, but he never does. I'm just surprised I haven't just asked someone else to be his nursemaid." "Wait, you're his nurse?" "He can't live by himself." |
The bear made a gurgling noise from where he lay on the floor. "He says he's sorry," the wolf said. "You want to help me drag him out of your house?" "Sure," Jim said. "Uh, it's not my house, it's hers, but I will help." With a lot of effort they managed to drag Tommy out into the yard where he lay groaning and puking. "He'll recover," the wolf said. When Jim re-entered the house, Princess Jordan threw her arms around him. "You saved my life!" |
| "I would have done it for anyone" Jim said "After all I'm an officer on the United Animals Fleet. It is my job to protect the innocent." Jim kissed her hand and Jordan giggled Meanwhile back at Ichabod's parents' house (Ichabod and Marzipan were staying with Ichy's parents for the time being) Ichabod was explaing how he met Marzipan...She had been a slave girl since she was abducted at eight years old...Ichabod had met her while inflitrating A slavery ring...The Two parents Jonathan and Pamela listened but Jonthan could not help but feel distracted by what the Cat-Girl was making for supper...Pot roast Jonathan was amazed by Marzipan's cooking skill...Marzi had said that she had been captured by the wranglers to be a cooking slave |
| "I'm surprised you didn't try feeding your captors to death," Pamala said, sniffing the pot roast. "This smells delishes." |
"It's funny you should say that," Marzipan said. "O put oregeno in a dish and that spice is a poison for the Lobster Men from Planet Tenacious. There happened to be two of them on our slaveship and they dropped dead after eating my stew. I thought I would be killed for sure." "How did you avoid that fate?" Pamela said. "Fortunately, the Captain of the ship hated the Lobster Men because he thought they might be plotting a mutiny against him, so he promoted me to head chef." |
| Marzi's watch beebed she realized she had to get ready "I'm so sorry but I must leave." She said "Taurus the Bull-Man reminded me that it is my debeaut night at the Animal Opera...I have to leave now!" "Won't you stay and eat with us?" Jonathan asked "No I have to leave now." Marzipan said putting some sandwiches into her backpack "I'll have to eat on my way there." She left, Jonathan took a taste of the Pot Roast and moaned with pleasure "Ichabod." Jonathan said quietly "Do you remember anything about having an imagenary friend?" 'What do you mean?" Ichabod asked taking a serving of pot roast for himself "When you were about six or seven or so..You claimed you had found a friend in echo cave...You claimed you could only hear her voice but you also claimed she was a talking cat..." Jonathan hesitated "I thought it was strange because back in those days we common people were not allowed contact with Humanimals and in part I thought you were just mad at me for not letting you keep a pet" Meanwhile Marzipan arrived at the Opera House just in time stuffing a vegtable sandwhich in her mouth Taurus the Bull Humanimal was not pleased |
| "Someone! Get that curtian straightened out! You! Ceicle need more make-up on his face. You! Get me a double-black!" "Yes sir!" "Right O!." "On it!" "And where is that cat-girl at? She's suposed to be here by now!" |
"I'm right here," Marzipan said. Taurus jumped. "Don't sneak up behind me like that. Well? Go get in your costume! You know that fancy thing takes an hour to put on." Marzipan had two assistants to help squeeze her into the elaborate gown she wore in Act One, The Duke's Party. One was a floppy-eared rabbit girl named Dianne and the other one was a bristly-haired hedgehog girl named Baritz. "Maybe you better stop eating so many sandwiches," Diane said. "Do you think I'm getting fat?" Marzipan protested. "I'm just saying it's getting harder and harder to shove you into this gown." "Maybe it's shrinking." Baritz laughed. "That gown ain't shrinking, honey. Are you sure you ain't pregnant?" |
| Marzipan brisled at the Hedgehog "You're lucky you're so bristly Hedgepig or I'd eat you for breakfast!" Marzipan knew that the Hedgehog was aware of her 'dirty little secret' During the three days Ichabod had spent trying to liberate as many slaves as he could from the slavery ring. Marzi had grown fond of him since he had used her to get the information he needed and had promised her liberation in return An incident happened when for one reason or anouther..The Toilets exploded...Marzipan was framed for the whole thing and it looked like instant death...If not Ichabod stepped foreward and offered to 'punish' her. 'Punishment' in this context meant something sexual...Ichabod knew they would watched so Not breaking character...He told Marzipan to give him a Blow-Job In essense that was the dirty little secret. Ichabod meanwhile was heading to Animal Opera to see Marzi's debeaut He handed his ticket to The Lizard-Man at the entrance "You here to see you fat-cat girlfriend?" The Lizard snickered "If I wasn't late already..." Ichabod said "I'd beat the snot of of you!" He entered Marzi was already on stage singing "Think of me." She sang "Think of me fondly when we've said good-bye." Ichabod gasped...He knew that voice...Somewhere deep in his childhood memories..He remembered a feline voice saying those excact words 'I wonder if he remembers.' Marzi thought |
| Could it be? Ichabod wondered. Nah, it couldn't have been. That cave probably had a gas that was a hulisnigin or something. |
| But as Marzipan continued to sing her song a strange feeling grapled Ichabod's chest...As if a memory from long ago was wriggling out of his heart...He felt a hot tear sting his cheek "There would not be a Day when I wouldn't think of you...."Sang Marzipan...The Creatures in the Audiance roared their appluse Than Ichabod looked foreward...He saw Marzipan's eyes...Those brown eyes flecked with gold...And he remembered what he saw in Echo Cave...A pair of brown eyes...Winking at him. Just than Marzipan winked and Ichabod knew she remembered what he remembered "I can't believe it!" Ichy said "It wasn't a dream!" |
| But how could it have happened? How could she have found me? And how could I have found her years later? |
Ichabod almost didn't pay attention to the rest of Act One because he was so caught up in wondering about his childhood experiences in the cave. But the extravagant costumes and wonderful singing of the Animal Opera swept him back into the story. Marzipan was doing the scene where she meets the Duke for the first time at his party. Ichabod felt like she was singing to him... Where have you been all my life? How did I live without you? You are the one from my dreams... |
| Ichabod noticed the one who played the Duke...The Large Germen Bull played by Taurus was wearing one of his Mother's special roses behind his ear 'So that's what Marzi ment when she wanted to 'borrow' one of mother's roses' Just than the Villian played by a large Feral Hog entered the stage and sang his song thus ending act 1 the curtain fell |
| Meanwhile, Jonathan and Pamala were reading the newspaper, the crime section in particular. "Criminals these days," Jonathan muttered. "I remember when they would demand an amount, get the money, and then let the hostage go." "Yeah," Pamala said, nodding her head. "Now they tend to go back on their deals, increase the price, or kill the hostage." |
"It's bad enough when the politicians are dishonest," Jonathan said, "but when even the criminals cheat and tell lies then you know things are going to the bad." Ichabod got up for the intermission between Act One and Act Two and went to the lobby for some snacks. He was surprised at the generous assortment of food for sale, even pizza and chicken and soup. "Who eats soup at an opera?" he muttered. A groundhog overheard him and said, "A good hot acorn soup will open up your ears, bub, and ye can hear the music better." "I can hear it just fine," Ichabod said. |
| Marzipan ran out and hugged and kissed him "Don't mind the groundhog dear." She said "The Soup is deleishious!" Meanwhile Falco had been secretly watching both Ichabod and Marzi from Box Five |
| So, the cat has a lover, Falco thought. I'm going to have to find a way to fix that. |
"So what did you think?" Marzipan asked. "I thought you were terrific!" Ichabod said. "What about everybody else?" "I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You were the star of the show." Marzipan grinned and playfully hit his arm. "Stop it. Flattery will get you everywhere. But I'm glad you liked it." And she hugged him. |
| Falco secretly pressed a button on his wristwach he began to speak into it "Uncle this is Falco." The Ave said "The Cat has a lover what should I do?" "Seperate them!" said Skeksis "For if my vison is correct and the lover is a human then they must not mate lest a disaster befall all the civelized races of the universe!" Meanwhile Marzi was having a little fun showing off her abbilities she took a banana a deep throted it and pulled it out whole! The Feral Hog, Vladimir Proc seemed to be having trouble with his tights |
| Meanwhile, Jim and Jordan were heading out to their date. "I hope you're as good of a dancer as you claim to be," Jordan said. |
"Wait!" Jim said. "Did I claim that? I think I said I really really like to dance. Uh... that's different from being really really good at it." Jordan laughed. "Oh no! Should I have worn my steel-toed shoes?" "I'll try not to stomp on your feet." |
| Jim and Jordan entered Dance the Night Away...Upon entering they found Bill with a human date! "Hi Guys!" Bill said "Meet Samantha! I call her Sammy for short." "Um Hi?" Jim and Jordan said not sure what to make of a United Animals Officer dating a human. "Oh come on!" Bill snorted as if he could tell what they were thinking "It's not that unusaul Minsk the Mink married a human and you haven't got problems with that right?" Before Jim or Jordan could answer.. |
"What the heck?" Bill said and they all turned toward the sound. "Oh, it's that Happy Hippo guy. He carries three cellphones with him. Claims he has three girlfriends so he needs three phones." "Do you belive it," Jordan asked. "Of course not! How would they all call him at the same time? It's his mom calling to check up on him. She made him carry three phones in case he lost one and the batteries went dead in one, then he would still have the third one so she could reach him." |
| Zander the Ave walked over to them "Hey guys!" He said warmly "Have you guys tried the drinks? They've got the best worm juice here!" "Who would want to drink liqufied Earthworms?" Jordan asked looking rather disgusted "A bird would." Zander said gruffly "Anyway check out who else is here!" At the Bar was a Gryphon-Woman who was talking to a Mouse-Man barista "Is that who I think it is?" Bill asked "Yes that is Meeya-Meefla." Zander said "Who was voted Queen of Birds at last year's Bird Festival!" |
| Just before Act Two began...The two lovers hid in the Orchastra pit (Which was empty) For a little 'Food Play' Marzipan had discovered an herb that when added to the right food made you very horny...She took the special Hot and Spicy Soup from the Concession Stand and added the Herb to it. "Oh Gods that smells SOOOOOO Good!" Ichabod said licking his lips "Let me have some!" She tipped the bowl into his mouth...And Ichabod moaned with pleasure..."Oh that was so good!" He said wiping his mouth "Feel anything?" Marzi asked "No..." Ichabod said "I think you should try something else." Falco had been waticing from the shadows...He made his move...When Marzi wasn't looking Falco snuck in one of his own concoctions. Awesome Sauce...His Family's 'Secret' Aphrodisac Condiment...There was a warning on the Bottle 'Do not give this to Humans or Children under two' Marzipan did not notice and picked up the Bottle of Sauce...She took it a put three drops of it in her Lover's mouth Ichabod felt himself go ramrod strait but that wasn't the only thing "Oh GODS!" He cried "I feel like I'm on fire! Please Marzi get me some water!" |
Marzipan shoved a bottle of water at him and Ichabod popped the top and gulped down the entire bottle. "That was intense!" he said. "Now let's do it!" "Do what?" Marzipan said, then blushed. "Oh... THAT! Here? Now? That's impossible!" But Ichabod had a crazed look in his eyes and his tongue was hanging out. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead. "I want you!" he moaned. |
| Ichabod grabbed Marzipan's collar roughly but she gave him a firm hard slap on the face "Get a hold of yourself man!" Marzi snapped "You're right." Ichabod panted weakly "You're right..." But then he made a flying leap at her...but she reversed and ended up on top "Uh...Um Sorry Marzi..." Ichabod said when he realised what a sticky position he was in. "I think someone needs some punishment...If you know what I mean." Marzi said gruffly "W--W--What do you mean?" Ichabod said nervously Marzi flipped Ichy onto his stomach and pulled his pants down "Oh No! Marzi!" Ichabod gasped when he realised what she was about to do "Not that! Anything but that!" "Sorry Ichy!" Marzi said as she raised her right paw to strike "From what I understand this is the only way to cool you down!" She struck his tender behind getting all the lust out of his tender boy flesh |
| At the sight of this, Falco groaned in displeasure and gripped his headfeathers. "I can't believe this," he muttered, ripping a few out. |
| Falco looked at the Feathers in his hands and sighed...He walked into a dark corner 'Who am I to be condemming interspecies relationships?" He whispered to himself "After all I'm no saint myself." He remembered why he was on this Mission...He had an illecit affair with a Dragon-Girl Rose...A Humanimal Slave who had been rescued by the Andromada Allience Rescue Teams and brought to Ava. Falco had been hesitant about assoiating with a geneticly engeneered animal (As that was what Humanimals were) But Rose needed someone and had no one...She was a refugee and An Uplifted Animal thathad no friends, no family and no conections. Falco took her in and they became lovers It was not too long before Falco's cruel dommineering Uncle Skeksis found out about the legal affair and basicly took Rose hostage...He kept her locked up in his Mansion and thretened to send her back to the Planet she came from if Falco did not do as he was told. Falco turned and looked at THIS interspecies couple..."At least they origanate from the same planet at least they have that going for them...Which is nice." Ichabod's fanny was turning quite red from Marzi's iron paws...Tears were forming in the corners of his glassy green eyes "Please Marzi I'm sorry!" He sobbed "I won't try to ravish you!" Marzipan knew by the tone of his voice he spoke the truth |
"Get up then," she said. Ichabod pulled his pants up and wiped his nose. "But it's your fault for feeding me that stuff. You know how sensitive I am to food." "Yes, but what happened to you is NOT what I was expecting." |
| Act Two was about to begin...Ichabod and Marzipan hurried out of the orchastra pit...Marzipan didn't get anouther chance to look at that bottle but swore she could have seen alien writing on the bottle. Ichabod hurried back to his seat careful to sit on his seat slowly and carefully knowing how tender he was right now. Just as the play was about to start...The Director...Sir Aries the Ram-Man ran onto the stage "Sorry to interupt Ladies and Gentleman but something terrible has happened." He cleared his throat "Marzipan's understudy Fifi La Grande has been found murdured in her room!" He cleared his troat again "There is no need for alarm ...No need to rush out of your seat or..." The Majority of the Audiance got out of their seats and ran for the exit... Marzi insted ran for Fifi's room...And found the Poodle-Girl laying on the floor with a knife between her ribs |
| Oh my God, Marzipan thought as she covered her mouth. What happened to you? Who could of done this? |
Ichabod rushed in a moment later. "Holy Smokes!" he said, then he fainted. When he woke up Marzipan was rubbing his face with a damp cloth. "You must have been weak from the spanking." "No," Ichabod murmured. "I can't stand the sight of blood. Is it still there?" "The body is covered with a sheet now. I'm pretty shook up myself." |
| Ichabod noticed Jim, Bill and Bob were in the room with him him "Hey guys." He said "What are you doing here?" "We came cuz we heard there was a murder!" Jim said his Squirrel tail flickering fearfully Ichabod got up he rubbed his sore behind "We should leave." He said "It's not safe here." Bill and Samantha and Jim and Jordan held their respecitive partner's hands tightly "Bill." Samatha whispered in the Bull's ear "Do you think this was done my Humanimal Haters?" "I don't know." Bill said "But I did smell an Alien smell on the knife so maybe..." "Alien..." Marzipan suddenly remembered "Bill! I remember something now! I think I saw a bottle of sauce that had Alien writing on it I think it is still where I left it!" |
| "I still don't understand why anyone would want to kill Fifi," Marzipan said, tears welling under her eyes. "Who knows," Bill said. |
Samantha looked hard at Bill and he said, "I mean... Did she have any enemies?" "I don't know," Marzipan said. "I didn't know her very well, but she was so nice that I just can't imagine her having an enemy that would KILL her!" Tears fell from Marzipan's eyes. "Maybe there is alien DNA on the knife," Samantha said. "We aren't the police," Jim said. "They will know what to do." |
| Jim felt something tug at his paw...It was Jordan "Jim..." She said quietly "Isn't there SOMETHING we can do?" Jim wondered about that "Jordan Sweetie..." He said "Bill, Bob and Me are Interglactic Search and Rescue teams...We rescue those who are still living...Not investigate the Dead." Jordan bit her lip, She knew Jim was right but still it bothered her. Falco had been watching everything from the Rafters...he had been clutching his heart from stress 'It was an accident!' He thought to himself 'I didn't know that canine was intelligent!' He had wandered to close to Fifi's dressing room, She started barking at him like a regular Non-Anthropomorphic Poodle Falco obviosly annoyed stabbed first asked questions later What Falco would learn later was that Fifi was how you say...Had a learning disability...She was much closer in instinct to her Animal forebears than most Humanimals were Marzipan also had a 'learning disability' but that of a more 'normal' kind She had Disclauclta Or Math Dislexia |
Marzipan looked up. "Who said that? I recognize that voice." A fat man walked into the room. "Off course, you do, honey child. I'm Uncle Victor. Remember me?" "Yes! You were my math tutor. But you've gotten so... so..." "Fat? Haha! True that. And I really should blaim it on you, Marzi. Those cooking experiments of yours that you brought to class really awakened my interest in food." Marzipan smiled. "I'm sorry if I made you fat, Uncle Victor. What are you doing here?" "I just came to watch the show. Then I managed to work my way backstage after the trouble started. So what happens now? Are you guys going to follow the old showbiz rule that says the show must go on?" Marzipan shook her head. "I don't think so, Uncle Victor. I couldn't possibly go out on stage right after a murder. And since Fifi was my understudy, there is no one to replace me." |
| Uncle Victor looked to the Side...Unlike most people he was Half Human Half Humanimal...When he turned his head to the side you could really see the Hog influence of his breeding |
"I don't know," Marzipan said. "I don't know much about her." Sir Aries, the director, had walked by and stopped. "I don't think her parents were still alive. I just checked the files and for the 'someone to notify in case of an emergency' she had entered the name of our mayor." "But maybe she was related to him!" "Nope. I just called the mayor's office. They never heard of Fifi La Grande." "But that might have just been a stage name. Maybe her real name is something else." Sir Aries shrugged. "What can I say? All I've got is what she told me and her file says Fifi La Grande. That's the name she gave." |
| Marzipan and the Others headed off to their homes to wonder about this turn of events. As Ichabod and Marzipan settled down for bed...(They shared a bed...But they never had intercoarse they promised each other they wouldn't until they were ready) "Ichabod." Marzipan said "Yes My Love?" Ichabod asked as he climbed into the bed "Do you think I should have investigated that...Alien smell?" Ichabod kissed Marzipan's forehead "I'm sure everything will turn out all right in the end." Meanwhile Bill and Samatha headed out to the All-Night Diner to blow off some steam "I just can't believe it!" Bill said |
| "Can't believe what?" Samantha asked. "That there is yet another nutjob running around, killing people, and for what reason?" |
Samantha opened up the menu. "Bill, the world is full of nutjobs. Hmmm, speaking of nuts, I see they have pecan pie on the menu now. I think I'll have a slice of that and a cup of coffee." "Just coffee for me," Bill told the waitress. "Stop staring at her," Samantha said as the waitress walked away. "I was just thinking," Bill said. "About her?" "No! Of course not. About what happened tonight. Poor Marzipan." "Yeah, well I'm thinking about that piece of pecan pie. I haven't had any pecan pie since two Christmases ago at my Aunt's house." "I don't think I could think about food at a time like this." "You should try it. Food thoughts calm the nerves. What's your favorite soup?" |
"Vegetable?" Samantha asked,making a face. "That's so boring. At least tell me you like vegetable beef-- Oops! I didn't mean to say that! I'm so sorry, Bill!" "I'm not a cannibal, Samantha!" "I said I was sorry!" "Oh... alright. Forget it. It's been a tense night, what with the murder and everything. All I want is coffee. And maybe one teensy taste of your pecan pie." |
| (Seriously BBWolf I'm kind of fusterated with your One Sentence Answers I miss your paragraph long answers) Marzipan had a strange dream...It was probbaly caused by all those sandwiches she ate...In her dream a pair of blue eyes appeared in the sky the blue eye also caused a bunch of falcons to appear, each falcon was as black as Jet Marzipan ran for her life from the frightning birds! She tripped on a root and sprained her ankle. When she looked up there were thousands of cats all black as jet sprouting wings to do battle with the falcons. Marzi woke up. "What?!" She exclaimed "Oh...It was only a dream." She saw Ichabod was still sleeping she kissed his forehead and went downstairs to make breakfast. She took a gallon of milk poured some in a saucer and lapped it up this helped clear her mind of the dream she had. "What shall I make for breakfast today?" She asked herself "Jonathan said he was interested in Egg Floantine." |
| (Sorry, I've been taking some meds that control my writing obsesion, and limit my creativity. Annoying, as I have trouble writing in my own things.) "Then there is Pamala, she said that she was interested in a fruit and vegetable salude. Of course, there is Ichabod and his favorites. Oh, what to cook what to cook?" "Why don't you cook all of them," said a familiar voice, one that caused chills to run down Marzipan's tail. "No," she whispered. "How could you be here?" |
| (OK Than my next question is Do you need these Meds to live?) "Falco." The Cat said slowly "Indeed." Falco said warmly "Marzipan I come to ask you a question." "What question is that?" Marzipan asked looking for some sutible ammunition "Do you know your heart song?" Falco asked Marzipan hesitated...The Heart song was something every Cat sings to their beloved "Why you want to know?" "I have magic young kitten." Falco said "Magic beyond your wildest dreams! For instance I overhear you talking about breakfast.." Falco snapped his fingers and with a puff of blue smoke a fat salmon appeared on the table flopping and gasping |
| (No, but they keep me stable.) "I've had better gifts from pirates," Marzipan said, slowly backing away from Falco. "Besides that, there is something about you that I don't like." "Oh, and what would that be?" Falco asked, advancing towards her. "The fact that you stink!" |
| ( I understand...Like a pill I take for my anxiety, can't sleep without it!) "What the hell is going on here?!" Ichabod had come down for breakfast...He was only wearing a long V-Neck undershirt with some questionable tighy whiteys underneith. "Help me Ichabod!" Marzipan cried Ichabod grabbed a butter knife from the table and tried to engage Falco in battle. But Falco took out a bigger knife not going to take any guff. Marzipan knew how this would end...There would have been much bloodshed this Morning if Marzi had not seen a 'Worse-case senario Post it' on the wall...On it read 'Aves are allergic to Moon Cabbage. (Moon Cabbage being a Speices of Earth Cabbage evolved for Moon Soil) Marzi took a head of Cabbage from the grocery bag "Unhand him!" She said "Or I'll throw this at you!" |
| Falco just sneered. "That's not moon cabbage cat," he said. "And when I last checked, I'm not allergic to the Earth type." *Click!* "How about lead, pigion?" asked a gruff voice coming from behind Falco. Marzipan and Ichabod both breathed a sigh of relief. "It's good to see you for once, James," Ichabod said, dropping the butter knife. "Especially given the fact that I'm carrying this bad boy," said James's voice. "Now, Mr. Bird, unless you want to be the centerpiece at my Thanksgiving dinner, drop the knife, and place your hands, or paws, or whatever, on the back of your head, and you'll do it slowly, or else you'll find out why I was called 'Quick-Shot With Hair-Trigger' in the Special Forces division of the Navy." |
Falco did as he was asked but sneered. "What are you going to do now? Kill me?" "No, unfortunately here on Earth even terminating vermin like you is considered murder. On the other hand, if I can show that it was in self-defence, like maybe you were an intruder, eh? What do you think, Ichabod? Did I shoot him after he broke into the house?" "I could testify to that," Ichabod said. Falco was beginning to sweat. "You don't scare me. You two might cover up a murder but Marzipan never would and you don't want to make her feel guilty the rest of her life by killing me." "Shut up!" James said. |
| Thankfully for Falco he was not killed. He was realised on the far side of town...He spoke into his wristwatch "Uncle, The Direct Approch has failed I need back up! Send in the Crystal Birds!" "Fool!" Skeksis hissed "You know the Crystal Birds can not survive far from their planet! I will have to send their palry subsitututes the Wooden Birds instead." Meanwhile In the Household...Marzipan was making a large Omelette for Ichabod as thanks for trying to rescue her She also was making a large amount of Bacon and Maple Syrup Sausages for James for saving both their lives. As Marzipan was cracking Eggs into her bowl and scrambling them...Ichabod snuck up behind her and grabbed her round the waist "Hands off!" Marzipan said laughing |
| "Yes," said a familiar voice. "You do have company after all." Ichabod turned around and saw an old wolf sitting in his favorite chair, sipping tea, and on the wolf's face was a satisfied smile. "How did you enter my house, James?" Ichabod asked. "I didn't hear you come in." "You pick up a few tricks while in the service you know," James said with a grin. "I'm surprised you arn't serving still," Marzipan said, with a chuckle. James's smile became a frown. "I was forced into early retirement." "You were wounded in combat?" "Oh I was wounded, but that wasn't the reason." "What was?" "Some Brown-Nose Know-Nothing gave me and my men bad inteligance. I was the only one who survived. When I managed to come home, I went and broke the bastard's nose. That was what got me kicked out." |
"I hope you like Maple Syrup Sausages," Marzipan said. James laughed. "Anything you cook is sure to be excellent. You're a lucky guy, Ichabod. Although it's too bad you are going to grow so fat on Marzipan's cooking." Later, Ichabod wondered aloud about Falco. "Oh, he might try again," James said. "Next time we'll shoot first and ask questions later." Marzipan shivered. "I don't know why he is so interested in me." |
| An Hour Later Marzipan was doing laundry outside. She was singing a little song to herself...Ichabod was inside the greenhouse doing a little gardening. Just as Marzipan was hanging the big picnic blanket on the clothing line she felt something touch her shoulder for a brief second. She turned around and sceamed for right behind her was a large wooden bird that was taller than she was! The Bird picked her up by the coller with Its beak...She screamed "Ichabod help!" Ichabod rushed out to see what was the matter he gasped there appeared to be three wooden birds He made a leap at the one with his Beloved in Beak but anouther caught him pulled down his pants and smacked |
| Now that's not fair, Ichabod thought, as he reached his arm around, trying to grab the intruder. "Hey Birdies!" said James's voice. "Unless you wish to be the kidling for my next barbeque, get your wooden behinds off of my neighbors' lawn!" Ichabod turned his head and saw the old wolf wearing a flamethrower kit, with the nozzle lit and pointed towards them. "You be carefull with that thing," he shouted. "You might hit us." James just smiled. "Not with this bad boy," he said. "This thing hits what it's aimed at. Of course, you might get a tan, but I have plenty of aloe to help out with burns. Now, if you birds don't leave by the time I count to ten, I'll shoot. One! Two..." |
But a fourth bird came swooping down behind James to pluck the flamethrower from his hands. Fortunately, James heard the creaking of the wooden wings and whirled around to aim a blast of fiery goo at the attacking bird. It responded with a satisfying scream of pain as it went down in flames. However, those few seconds allowed the bird holding Marzipan to make its escape. James couldn't even attempt to burn it out of the sky because of the danger to Marzipan. But he did manage to singe the tailfeathers of the other two birds as the three birds flapped away carrying their treasure. "I guess we know who sent those birds," James said. "Falco." Ichabod turned a pained face towards James. "What are we going to do? He's got Marzipan." |
| Marzipan struggled in the Bird's grasp "Let ME go!" She meowed "There is no need for alram." Came a voice Mari knew all too well "Falco." She said darkly |
| "I'm going to Kill you!" "Oh now there's no call for that my dear," Falco said with a smile. "Besides, you're quite important." "What do you mean?" "You control the future of who will lead Ava." |
Marzipan struggled against the grip of Falco's wooden bird, but it would not release her. "I don't want to be part of your crackpot political shemes!" she yelled at Falco. He calmly preened his feathers. "That decision is out of your hands and into mine," Falco said. "We'll be leaving Earth as soon as I get my rocket motors warmed up. "No!" Marzipan screamed. "I've never been off this planet. If you take me it will be kidnapping and you will go to jail for that!" "Ha ha ha!" Falco laughed. "They would have to catch me first, my dear." Meanwhile Ichabod and James were desperate to find Marzipan. "But how?" Ichabod said. "Those birds could have flown anywhere!" |
| Falco rubbed his scaly hands and cracked his knuckles. "I think I'll start off with a nice hypnotism smell to get things started." He said He reached for her Ears but than a spark of electricity shocked his hands away "GAH!" He exclaimed "What was that?!" "I don't know." Marzi said "I'm just as Confused as you are." Than he notcied something around the Cat's neck..Something that he thought was just a necklace or a choker it looked like a ribbon of blue silk with a strange gold pendent attatched "What is that on your neck?" He asked Marzipan didn't know what else to say but the truth "It's...My collar." She said "Humans and Humanimals can't technichly marry they can only be life partners...The Coller is kind of like the Ring...Ichabod said the Collar also protects Humanimals from harm." |
| "Well, it looks like I'll have to remove that," Falco said, with an evil chuckle. |
Meanwhile Ichabod was jumping up and down and snapping his fingers and yelling, "I've got it! I've got it!" "Got what?" James said, irritated at Ichabod's foolish antics. "How to find Marzipan! Her collar! We'll use her collar!" "But how?" James asked. |
| "I have a Collar too!" Ichabod said quickly reaching into a a secret cabinet..."I just rarely wear it because ...Humans who wear their collars in public are figures for ridicule." "Isn't that like not wearing your wedding ring?" James asked "Look." Ichabod said "One day maybe Humans who love Humanimals will be accepted in mainstream society but Why are we debating this? We have a Cat to find!" Ichabod put on a Green Silk Collar with a Silver Tag..The Tag began to vibrate... "I have a feeling she is this way." Ichabod said Meanwhile Falco was having a hard time getting Marzi's collar off it started generating more electricity so he could not even come near her! |
| "Jasheizok!" Falco shouted, dodging a lightning bolt. "That thing's getting more powerful with every attempt. I'm going to have to find a different method to get that thing off of you." "Good luck with that," Marzipan sneered. "It learns faster than most people do. You won't be able to take it off by force." Falco turned his head and saw something that caused him to smile. "Let's see what happens if I were to drop you into a pool full of water, and have something hold you down." |
"I'll drown," Marzipan said. "Cat's can't swim. Cats don't like water. Are you trying to kill me? Do not drop me in the water." "Ha!" Falco said, grinning from ear to ear. "You protest too much. Water will short out the collar, won't it?" "And electrocute me. Why are you so determined to kill me?" "I'm not trying to kill you, I 'm trying to possess you, and I will do that." |
| Ichabod was using Bill (Who he had called halfway through) As a mount, James was running alongside them |
| "Couldn't you just call a cab?" James shouted at Ichabod. "I'm not that young anymore you know!" "I couldn't afford it," Ichabod shouted back. "Yeah right," Bill muttered. |
Meanwhile Falco was trying to think of a way to get Marzipan into the water. He couldn't grab her because of the lightning bolts shooting from her collar. Maybe instead of pushing her into the water, he could just toss the water onto her. He found a big bucket and filled it with water... |
| "Hold it right there!" Ichabod called out as he and Bill and James arrived on the scene "Oh Blast!" Falco muttered under his breath "I might as well take the cat and run!" He tucked Marzipan under his arm (He was able to do so because now he wasn't trying to physacly harm her) "You never find me!" He said |
| Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his back. He reached around and felt something sticking out. "What is this thing?" "Tranqualizer and transmiter," said James's voice. "You can run, but you can't hide, and you will be caught." |
Falco dropped Marzipan so he could pluck at the dart in his back. Marzipan ran toward Ichabod. Falco got the dart loose and ran away. "He dumped the transmitter!" Ichabod said. James shrugged. "Yeah, but he dumped Marzipan too. We got her back." Marzipan and Ichabod hugged each other. "I missed you so much!" Ichabod said. "And I missed you!" Marzipan replied as she snuggled into his bony chest. |
| "Me and Bill will go after that bird," James said. "You two stay here." "Why do I have to go with you?" Bill asked. James just pinched the bull's ear, nearly piercing it, causing Bill to give a low bellow of pain. "If you want to keep the ear," James whispered. "You'll shut up, and come with me." |
"But we're following a bird man," Bill protested. "He'll just fly away." "No he won't," James said. "I'm sure some of the tranquilizer from that dart must have gotten into his bloodstream. All we have to do is find where he collapsed." |
| (Happy 100th addition!) Marzipan purred in Ichabod's arms Ichabod sang softly to her "No more talk of darkness Forget these wide-eyed fears Your safe no one will find you Your fears are far behind you." Bill and James followed a trail of feathers. Falco made his way to the forest |
| "Damn it," he said, slamming his fist against a tree. "How could this have happened? I was so close." Then he stumbled, just barely catching himself. "What's going on?" |
| Falco put his hand to his eyes. Everything was looking a bit blurry. There was a ringing in his ears. "Oh no!" he muttered. "What have those fools done? Don't they realize injecting tranquilizer in an Avan is like giving LSD to a baby? Why are the trees dancing?" Falco ran around in circles, flapping his wings and calling out "Look at me, dad! I can fly!" His muscles were so tranquilized that he never left the ground but he thought he did. "Oooooo!" he cooed. "From up here people look like ants!" Then he crashed headfirst into a tree and fell over in a faint. |
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