Fly the Cage

I don't know how I manage to get myself into these situations, currently I'm stuck in a freezer, chained to a hook in the ceiling, and for some reason I don't have a single ounce of lockpicking knowledge. As I ponder my predicament I'm sure that my captors are in the next room ploting some odd and twisted way to torture me, maybe water-boarding, or the old jumper cable/car battery tactic. But then again, what information could they want from me?
Maybe I just have an over-active imagination, maybe they aren't some government funded mercenary group after all, maybe it's just terrorists out to kidnap innocent computer hackers, that steal important blueprints, before deleting them off a multibillion dollar weapons corporation main frame. But really?Who can be sure?

There is no scarier sound in the world than the lock of the only door between you and them turning, agonizingly slow. The tumblers fall too quickly, the door swings outward, and the blinding light sweeps in. (Now I know how those people in Arkansas feel everytime they get abducted.)

"Ello chaps, fine bit of a pickle I appear to 'ave gotten myself in. It seems me 'ands are all tied up and stuck and what-not, mind 'elpin a fellow out?", I figure if I'm going to die, they MUST hear my terrible British accent before I go.

"Boss, he's kidding right?', the twisted man on the left said to the amazingly well dressed one.

Well this fellow just gave me two clues, clue number one; the well dressed one is quite obviously in charge, and clue number two; the gnarled, twisted one was definitely from Arkansas.

Now it was the well dressed one's turn to speak, "Oh look! We have a comedian. So tell me, where are the blueprints?"

"Well, you see, that's a REALLY funny story. I was on my was to sell it to the highest bidder, but some idiots decided to kidnap me and smash my hard drive!", I really hope this works. Yes, I lied, wouldn't you? I mean come on they didn't even offer anything for it! I'm THE Fly for Christ's sake! I hacked the pentagon for fun!

"Well then, it appears we have a rather large issue, Mister Fly." (They know who I am, yeah, like i didn't see that coming.) "We NEED those blueprints back." (At least i know who they are now.) "So we're gonna take you in the other room and we WILL find out where they are."

As the drag me down and across the floor, I keep reassuring myself in my head, " I am the Fly. I must be a wall. I'm an iron box, no one can break me. I am Fly, the Cage."