Love Sucks

         I can’t help who I love, I don’t think anyone can. I always consider myself different, I always considered myself special. But I guess I was wrong, no ones above anyone. The first boy I fell in love with, moved away. I felt as though he was the one for me, we had so much in common. Or I thought we did, but I was wrong, as usual. I just felt that if we had so much in common, and we had known each other for so long. Then nothing could fail, but how can something fail, if it never begins.

The next love I encountered was, in grade eight. You know how people are always talking about love at first sight, and how you say, we’ll that’s a load of crap. This time, I was positive that love at first sight was possible. People say high school relationships don’t work out, but I wouldn’t let this one fail. I was just so desperate to believe this one loved me back, so I did countless stupid things. I was blinded by this so called love I held, for him.

But all good things come to a end right? He had a girlfriend, the so called miss popular. That’s why I just cant stand this whole, popularity drama anymore. Friendships end, relationships fail to begin, because of popularity. Who cares what your high school status is, as long as you’re a good person and your head is clear, your fine.

After a good two years, I was over that mess. But I became pretty cautious when I like someone now, because for me liking someone is the same as getting into a relationship. I commit myself to that person, I don’t stop thinking about them and I get very agitated when others speak to them.

Then how could this time be any different? Why should I get myself involved in someone, who I am obviously not good enough for? Why spend countless hours, thinking of what could be and what could have been? Why not just set my feelings aside, and focus on the better things in life? You ask yourself these questions throughout your life, yet you never get a clear answer. Is it because your not able to, is it because you don’t want to? Until I get a clear answer to these questions, I can’t and wont be able to trust love.

How can something so small, make such a huge impact on your life? How can one person change your opinons and views on different things and people. Answer these questions for me, and I’ll finally understand how love works and why it works that way.
Why does this always happen? Why cant I just love someone, without someone else coming in and swiping them away from me. Why did I have to ruin it, why don’t I love this boy anymore? Why is she good enough, pretty enough and why aren’t i? Love sucks.