A Moment With the Moon

It is a night for brooding.  After pacing restlessly, it seems like a good idea to walk on the beach and be alone with my heavy heart, away from prying people who are just trying to be nice. 

I take my shoes off and against my will, I’m pleasantly surprised to walk on a carpet of warm sand.  I sit and mindlessly rub the gritty dirt on my feet, grudgingly allowing myself to be spellbound into peacefulness by the rhythmically crashing waves. 

The warm touch of the sea wind is like mother twirling my hair.  Touching my cheek.  Everything will be ok, it says. 

No, nothing will ever be ok again.   

Nevertheless, I’m a part of the night tonight, and can’t help but experience it.  The clouds are like a mysterious fog, crowding the knowing face of the full moon like a fur stole.  As the clouds shift, a delicate silver lining traces their edges majestically. 

I reject the imagery out of hand, refusing to be optimistic. 

Soon the shimmery clouds step aside, putting the moon in the spotlight.  It’s as if she has dismissed her courtiers and decided to attend to the one person sitting on the beach.  The white lady touches the water with moonlight, leaving a trail leading to the stars on the horizon. 

It’s so ethereal that I wish I had thought to bring my camera.  You can do wonders with a digital camera.  If I could capture the magic of the evening, maybe I could undo what happened.

The silver path across the water invites me.  I could almost step onto it and travel to the starlight at the edge of the sea, then use the stars for handholds to climb up to the moon.  From there, I could look back at life, observing the lights of the city like a campfire on a black landscape.  I would look for sand dollars after high tide, and maybe I would finally find one. 

As the waves roll out, they seem to beckon.  Come with us. 

How nice it would be to fall into their embrace.  I wonder, as I walk to the water, would there be a dolphin around to guide me through the dark depths?  Or would I walk alone? 

I stand on the brink, undecided.  Once made, the decision cannot be undone.  The shock of cold water rushing around my feet reminds me it would be very cold.  The moon senses a change, and sadly gathers her clouds back around her, hiding her face from me.  I turn away and move on.