An unedited version of a short story I had to write for a job application, oddly enough. |
I recently filled out a job application that asked me to write a story of a turtle's greatest accomplishment from the perspective of the turtle. I was only allotted 300 words for that story, but I liked it enough to expand a little and share. It's cheesy but, you know what, cheese is good. Enjoy! The Turtle's Triumph I was on my back for nearly an hour. It's no position for a turtle, I can tell you that, but there I was. I'm not too proud to admit that I panicked at first. Anyone would. Many a poor turtle has perished that way, including my uncle. We don’t usually like to talk about him. He was a bit of a daredevil after his race with that hare. We’re all sure it was fixed somehow. Rabbits are notorious gamblers, thinking their feet make them lucky. It’s ludicrous, I know. Just, don’t point it out to them. My uncle found out the hard way. One kick and he was done. Next came anger, I'm sorry to say. I had only gone on my jog because the guys down at the pond said I was getting a little thick around the shell. I'll have you know, I've had the same waist line since I was a hatchling. Well, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I guarantee you my abs are rock hard. In any case, it really wasn't their fault. One moment, I'm moving along at a respectably swift pace for a turtle and, the next, a curious dog comes sniffing around and knocks me off my feet! Now, I'm sure he would have gotten around to putting me upright again eventually. Dogs are a mischievous lot, but they're not outwardly cruel. Unfortunately, before his deed could be undone, he was whisked away by a harsh tug at the leash strapped to his neck. I would have felt sorry for him if I wasn't in the midst of that panic attack I mentioned earlier. So, there I stayed with my feet clawing at sky. The hour passed. For creatures as slow moving as we, it was an eternity. I tried rocking. That usually works when the ground isn't level and you can let the momentum do the work. I wasn't so fortunate. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is usually a metaphor. Then, as I was about to slip into another round of terrified flailing, I noticed the thinnest branch of a nearby shrub to my left. It was close, yet still just out of reach. Stretching my neck as far as I could and kicking my limbs to rotate my position, I managed to grasp it with my mouth. With a few tugs and twists, I finally managed to right myself again! I was so elated, I jumped for joy. I know turtles can't jump. It's just an expression. Don't over think it. Let's just agree that I was really happy. Being stuck upside down is the greatest challenge a turtle could ever face and I overcame it in record time. You know, if you forget that I spent the first forty minutes crying. |